


The Cabinet of Wonders

by lastmouseleft



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Deep in the woods lives a lonely masked creature, Desire, Eerie, F/M, Forbidden Love, Gothic, Mystery, Reylo - Freeform, Secluded house
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2018-12-24 20:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 50,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12020820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastmouseleft/pseuds/lastmouseleft
Summary: Deep in the woods, in a house were silence reigns, lives a lonely creature in a mask.Rey has been tasked to evaluate the collection of a mysterious client who lives secluded in a house deep into the forest. The more she delves into his "cabinet of wonders", the more she unveils his elusive nature.





	1. Day 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, 
> 
> Welcome to "Cabinet of Wonders", a fic so strange I had trouble defining what kind of alternative universe it set in (Maybe you could help me describe it?). The idea just came to me one day, and it wouldn't leave my head until I started writing it down, even if I wanted to postpone it until I was done with my other works in progress! 
> 
> This story is loosely inspired by "The Duke of Burgundy", a very unusual yet so beautiful art house movie about two female lovers engaging in a strange game of sub/dom. The film has a very distinctive mood and it is so magnificently shot, and although my story doesn't include a true sub/dom element, I know the movie visuals have influenced me greatly. 
> 
> It is hard to describe this fic any further without reveling some elements of the plot. I really hope you will trust me enough and enjoy reading it as the plot unfolds. I can't wait to read your comments!

The sound of dead leaves crushing under the bicycle tires as she paddled created a monotonous yet agreeable sound that rhythmed her progress through the woods.

Fall was her favorite season and as the rays of lights that got through the thick trees came to caress her face with their warmth in the chilly morning air, Rey smiled, contently.

She was excited, although a bit nervous, for she was finally having the opportunity to prove herself. For the first time, she had been assigned the task to evaluate a collection on her own.

She knew, of course, that her boss, greedy, sneaky, spiteful Unkar Plutt, didn’t offer her the job out of the goodness of his heart if he ever had one. The “blob”, as his employees called him because of his flattened nose and his sagging neck skin, had always been quite insufferable to everyone, but Rey seemed to be a particularity “favorite” target of his cruelty.

He paid her poorly, very poorly considering the quality and the efforts she put in her work. He refused to let her be in charge of any contract, always appointing one of her older colleagues to supervise her work under the pretense that she was too young and too inexperienced. That way, she couldn’t hope for any advancement opportunities. When she threatened to quit, he would laugh at her face. Where would she go? Who would want to hire her when she lacked any proper degree or training? She was self-taught, and however good she was, she couldn’t prove it. If she left, he would make certain she wouldn’t have any recommendation from any of her colleagues. She would never find a job again.

When the details of the contract came to the company, they proved unusual at best, and “suspicious” if she was to believe her colleagues. Nevertheless, the payment that it promised was so substantial that it was practically impossible to refuse.

She had no doubt that Unkar Plutt had only given her the possibility to undertake this latest project on her own just because he wanted to see her fail.

As she made her way through the forest, Rey breathed deeply, hoping to chase the feelings of anger and frustration that menaced to spoil her mood, and instead, she concentrated on the task ahead.

The trees were becoming scarcer and she knew that she was nearly there. She had been cycling for over an hour to get to her destination. There wasn’t any built road that she could have followed and she had to do with the beaten paths she could find through the woods.

When it finally appeared to her, the property seemed less impressive than she had imagined. She’d expected a grand castle standing high in the middle of a forest like in Sleeping Beauty, and it turned out to be more of an elaborate cottage, unpretentious and quite, that blended with its natural surroundings.

On second thought, she like this better than a fairytale castle.

Rey got off her bike, her hands on the handlebar so it wouldn’t fall, and examined the details of the house. It was all shades of brown, grey and deep red, its walls made of wood and sandstone and its roof tiles made of clay. There were two floors and many windows although all the curtains seemed to be drawn.

Slowly, Rey got closer to the entrance, her gaze running from a window to another, trying to detect any sign of life in the mansion. It all seemed so still.

She took the briefcase she carried in the basket and leaned her bike against the wall, hoping that there weren’t any thieves lurking in the woods, then climbed the three small steps that led to the entrance.

The door had two panels. “Mahogany”, she recognized when she examined it more closely, warming up for her task. There were stylised engravings of the moon and sun on each panel. “Very Art Deco!” she thought. It seemed so out of place considering the rest of what she already had seen of the house.

Rey lifted her fist to knock, then hesitated. It was important to make a good impression. She put some order in her bun-tied hair and patted her pastel pink blouse to straighten the fabric. Her brown pencil skirt was a bit wrinkled because of all the paddling and she regretted not wearing something more comfortable to bike then changing when she would arrive. She looked down on her faux-leather shoes and her knee-high socks and wondered if she looked more like a schoolgirl that the serious art expert she wanted to be.

As she fussed a bit more with her outfit, she suddenly had the distinct feeling she was being observed. She lifted her head to discover who was there when she heard the door opening just at the same time.

As she brought her attention back to the entrance, Rey jumped and gasped in surprise when she met the gaze of a tall ginger man standing before her. He looked at her with a mix of impatience and derisiveness explicitly showing on his pale face.

“Mister...Mister Ren? I am here for your collection...I mean…” she stammered and the more she heard herself the more embarrassed she grew.

“You are late”, the man complained, patronizingly.

“Late? No one actually…”

Rey suddenly knew that Unkar Plutt must have  _forgotten_ to tell her that she was expected to arrive at a precise hour to her client’s house.

“I am sorry”, she apologized, preferring to take responsibility than to let her client know about the disaccords she had with her own boss.

“Yes, well, follow me”, the man sighed as he let her in and closed the door behind her.

When she stepped over the wooden floor panels, Rey expected them to make a loud creaking noise, but surprisingly, no sound came out. It felt oddly unsettling to hear nothing while she hurried behind her client whose strides were proving too fast. He didn’t give her any opportunity to admire all the decoration and furniture that filled the lobby. They all fought for Rey’s attention and she wished she would have the occasion to get a closer look around the house.

When he engaged into a small dark creepy corridor, she stopped:

“Mister Ren, wait!” she called.

In fact, she felt a bit wary to follow him there, the warnings of her colleagues coming back into her mind.

“Over here, Miss”, he insisted, obviously growing impatient if his voice was any indication.

Rey’s brows puckered in a frown. Still, she joined him at the end of the corridor where he stood waiting for her, his hand over the door handle. She heard him sigh again then the sound of him wiggling the knob that sounded somewhat stuck before it finally gave way.

The view that unfolded before her eyes made her gasp in wonder. The room they came into was a true cabinet of wonders. Its rounded walls were all but covered with shelves and cabinets harboring the most extravagant and unusual objects she had ever seen. Shells, masks, exotic plants, statues, books, framed drawings, weapons and other strange items amassed without any detectable order. There were also drawers she suspected were also full of precious documents and objects she couldn’t wait to investigate.

“Here’s where you’ll be working, Miss...” he said, expecting an answer.

She was too taken by the strange wonders that populated the room. She stepped towards its center and turned around to assess the quantity of material she had to examine. The top shelves were so high they were unreachable without a proper ladder.

Her client forced two loud coughs finally to get her attention.

“Oh, sorry! You were saying?

-       We haven’t been properly introduced.

-       Of course! I am sorry, Mister Ren. I am Rey, she answered in a hurry, feeling the embarrassing blush warming her cheeks.

-       Just. Rey?

-       Yes.

-       How unusual!

-       Really?

-       Yes”.

She lowered her brows in a pensive way and he quickly changed the subject:

“You can call me Hux. I am  _Mister_ Ren’s attorney.

-       You are not Mister Ren?

-       No, obviously”.

He talked to her like a grown up to a child, somehow annoyed yet still obligated to explain everything to her.

“I doubt you will be seeing much of him anyway, Miss...Rey.

-       I see…”

It was inexplicable, the disappointment she felt.

“I presume you know what’s expected of you, Hux continued.

-       Yes. I am to catalog and evaluate the collection of Mister Ren, right?

-       That’s right. Although I thought your company would be able to provide us with more than one expert to accomplish this task.

-       I am perfectly able to do it on my own, she reacted, her chin held high.

-       Really? Well. I guess it will take some time for you to finish. Maybe that would give him the chance to accept the idea that he’s going to part with all this...collection”.

He might as well had said “junk” and it was at that instant that Rey knew that she really dislike him.

“Part? What do you mean?” she dared to ask, her curiosity stronger than her wariness of the man.

“I thought you would know! It was clearly stipulated in the contract”, he frowned. “Ren is to sell his collection. All of it! I guess he is finally ready to move on”.

Hux said the last sentence quietly as if he were just talking to himself, but Rey heard him enough to be intrigued.

“I am already running late for my next meeting. I will be back tomorrow. I am certain after your first day, you will be having many questions”.

The smirk that appeared on his lips, the first time she saw him smile, made her feel uncomfortable as if he knew something amusing that she didn’t.

“But I have some questions now!” she tried to protest, but he was by the door already.

“Tomorrow Miss Rey. Tomorrow”, he dismissed her with a hand gesture that made her ears ring with a rising anger.

When he left her alone, slamming the door more strongly than it was necessary, Rey listened carefully, trying to hear the sound of a car leaving, but there was nothing but silence, for as long as she waited.

She went to open the door, somehow expecting Hux to still be standing behind it. Maybe it was all but an elaborate joke for all she knew. There was no one in the gloomy corridor.

However strangely her day started, Rey was there for a reason. To do her job and she intended to provide her client with an irreproachable work.

She closed the door again and went to the desk at the center of the room. As she put her briefcase down and opened it to retrieve the tools she would be needing, she spared another look around. What a challenge it was going to be, to examine all these objects and specimens, one by one.

“I can do this! I can do this!” she repeated as a self-encouragement, the difficulty of the task filling her with unexpected enthusiasm.

She sat down and laid her tools in front of her, brushes, tongs, magnifying glass, gloves, pens and notebooks, all old and second-hand but well-maintained thanks to Rey’s care and handling.  

The desk had a few drawers and she decided to start there. The top one had a few small notebooks inside. She flipped the pages and saw that they were covered in numbers, written in the same handwriting. There was nothing else.

The two following drawers had a more interesting content: small boxes each containing a variety of small objects: marbles, bottle caps, ribbons, jewelry…

“Jewelry?!” shouted Rey.

Yes, there were golden and silver rings, necklaces, and brooches. Her client must really trust her to let her handle such precious items. One piece particularly got her attention, a pendant representing an albatross that impressed her by its delicacy.

“That must be the strangest collection I have ever seen”, she thought.

She was starting to believe that her client was more a kind of a hoarder than an actual collector, even though she sometimes hardly knew the difference.

Rey took time to inspect and write down all the details she could gather for every object that she came across. Hours went by until her stomach started feeling distractingly hollow. She didn’t bring any dinner with her, apart from the shortbread cookies she always carried with her and that she had already devoured during the morning.

Usually, the clients provided her with food, but Hux didn’t mention any arrangement regarding nourishment.

When gurgling sounds started to resound ever so loudly, she knew she couldn’t go on without some sort of sustenance. Food was essential for Rey.

When leaving the room and engaging in the dark corridor to join the lobby, she was yet again met with silence:

“Hello? Is anybody there?” she shouted, but there was no answer.

She started to believe that she was alone in the house and the thought sent a shiver down her spine.

However, although the place was silent, she could smell a distinctive aroma. Something cooked, something delicious. Her nostrils trembled as she sniffed the air and followed the smell, ignoring the magnificent surrounding, her hunger stronger than her curiosity. Like a guide, it led her straight to the kitchen. There was no one there also, which made the presence of the steaming meal over the kitchen all the more strange.

“Hello?” she shouted again. “Is...is this for me?”

Nothing. Only an eerie calm resounded in the house.

“I am going to eat it if it’s OK!” she announced loudly.

Someone must have prepared the food. It must be. Maybe did they come to cook her dinner and left before she even got to meet them. The floor was awfully quiet as she had come to discover earlier, and while she was busy working, someone could very well have come and went without her noticing.

“Well, I guess your silence means yes!” she decided, plunging the fork in the rice, potatoes and gravy dish which smell made her salivate. She took a big morsel of the potato and stuffed it in her mouth. The taste was unbelievable. She rolled her eyes and didn’t wait to swallow before she was greedily dipping her fork again in the food.

She made a quick work of it, somehow regretting she didn’t take the time to savor it. However, there was a mousse waiting for her and she swallowed it just as voraciously, enjoying the perfect taste of dark chocolate and the hint of orange that made all too tasty.

An apple had also been left on the kitchen counter. Rey wasn’t a fruit person, but this one looked particularly delicious, so plump with its perfect red skin reflecting the dim light.

“Hum!” she shrugged and took the fruit in her hand, taking a moment to observe her own reflection in it.

That’s when she saw it, a dark silhouette watching her standing in the doorframe.

Rey screamed in fear and turned around, letting the apple fall from her hand. Whoever they were, they were already gone.

Her heart raced and she feared it might break out of her chest, but she bravely ran toward the lobby, hoping to catch them.

“Wait! Come back!”

She was certain she saw someone, but there was no one at the lobby.

“Is it you, Mister Ren?” she asked, looking up the spiraling stairs.

“What is going on? This is too weird. I have to leave!” she thought, but her feet wouldn’t move.

She couldn’t leave, she wouldn't. Unkar Plutt would never give her another chance. He would keep it against her, forever, for losing such a ludicrous contract.

She clenched her fist in determination.

“I can do this!” she reminded herself.

Coming back to the room, she, however, felt safer locking the door.

Rey resumed her work and the steady repetitive task helped her calm down and she soon forgot about the strange occurrence.

By the time she had cataloged all the content of the two middle drawers, it was nearly five in the afternoon. Still, she felt strangely compelled to know what the last drawer held before she would leave.

When she opened it, she saw that there was only a thick paper envelope inside. The envelope itself contained a bundle of photographs and as she examined them, Rey discovered that they were only of landscapes, not a single person appearing on them.

Rey put them back inside the drawer. The feeling of unease was coming back to her. Nothing seemed to make sense.

Quickly, she gathered her tools in her briefcase and left, suddenly unable to stay a minute longer. She left the room, not caring to close the door behind her. The house was as quiet as ever and her feet started running of their own accord toward the exist.

For a moment, she thought that the house door wouldn’t open, that she was trapped, but when she turned the knob, it easily gave way and she was able to get out.

Rey took a deep breath and then snorted to mock the panic she had allowed to take hold of her. She went to her bike, relieved to see that it was still there faithfully waiting for her and she put her briefcase in the basket. Before leaving, she ventured another look at the house.

Her scream pierced the air.

Rey clasped her mouth, her hand trembling, her eyes widening in terror. A creature in a mask stood there, at the window, watching her, the same dark silhouette whose reflection she saw earlier. Now, it stared at her intently, from the second floor.

She couldn’t look away, she couldn’t move. It couldn’t be! A monster! He held her prisoner with its hidden eyes, its grotesque figure cladded in abysmal darkness.

It might have been a second or an eternity before it finally let go of her. It turned around and disappeared behind the curtain as if it had never been there.

Rey could only hear her own ragged breathing and her blood pumping loudly in her ears. She held her neck and gulped, slowly regaining control of her own feet. As soon as she could move without her wobbly legs giving up, she straddled her bike and run away. She ran as quickly as she could, hoping never to come back again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I was a bit nervous while writing this chapter. Lurking figures watching from afar really frighten me!


	2. Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey returns to Kylo Ren's house, despite what she has seen the day before.  
> Curiousity can sometimes be stronger than fear.

It was a rainy day.

Even, the thick foliage of the forest’s trees couldn’t withhold the torrents of water that poured relentlessly from the sky. The fog rendered it nearly impossible to see properly as Rey drove her bike through the woods to get to Kylo Ren’s house again.

She had promised herself never to return and yet here she was, facing atrocious weather conditions to get back there.

Last night, as soon as she arrived home, she called her boss in alarm.

_“I won’t go back, Plutt! I won’t! Something strange is happening in that place”, she told him, opting, however, to keep most of the details to herself, afraid he might think her mad._

_-_ _Rey, Rey, Rey! You’re a brave girl. It’s not one scary looking freak that will stop you from doing your job”._

_She’d_ _expected mockery, anger, even insults, but definitely not this cajoling tone from Unkar Plutt. He had never been this encouraging before. He usually resorted to intimidation and threats to make his employees do what he wanted._

_“I’ve decided, Plutt. I am not going there again! Besides, someone else can do the job”._

_She recognized him better when she heard his angry puffs through the phone. She could visualize the furious sneer that distorted his already unsightly features._

_“The client asked for you specifically, Rey!” he spat the truth, growling in obvious irritation. “He only wants you for the job!_

-  _But…_ _Why? He doesn’t even know me. I have never met him._

_-_ _Well, apparently, he does. We will lose the contract if you quit! You won’t quit! Do you hear me? You have no choice”._

Cold drops of water fell heavily from the hood of Rey’s raincoat over her nose. She winced and shook her head while she tried to make sense of what she was feeling. She was at once terrified and utterly curious. The image of the lurking figure watching her kept coming back to her like a nightmare impossible to forget. Every time she blinked, she could see it, as if it were imprinted inside her eyelids, and she had goosebumps when she thought of the eerie and unnatural silence that reigned in the house.

Still, she wanted... no, she needed to know what it all meant. There were too many questions that would remain unanswered if she chose not the go back. Rey had always been very curious, too much maybe for her own sake. She could never resist a good mystery and the one that faced her now was particularly challenging.

When she finally arrived at the house, her boots were well covered in mud and she was soaked to the skin. She leaned her bike near the entrance and grabbed the plastic bag that concealed her briefcase when the door opened yet again before she even had the chance to knock.

“Miss Rey”, acknowledged Hux after he scanned her from head to toes.

“Mister Hux”, she answered, imitating the snobbish and annoyed tone he had and it unexpectedly made him smirk in amusement.

“Please, come in”.

He stepped back to let her enter, but she wouldn’t budge, standing there with her arms crossed.

“Or do you prefer to stay in the rain?

\-      I will come in only if you are willing to answer my questions.

\-      Wasn’t that what we agreed on yesterday?

\-      I am serious, Mister Hux!

\-      So am I”.

They stared at each other for a long moment. Rey remained stubbornly still, taking satisfaction in the way it seemed to unnerve the attorney. Eventually, she stepped inside, the warmth of the house far more appealing than the outside weather.

“May I take your…coat?” suggested Hux as Rey removed her yellow vinyl raincoat. She handed it to him and he held it between his thumb and index as if it were the most disgusting piece of clothing he ever had the misfortune to touch.

“I will bring you some towels”, he added when he noticed the pool of water gathering under her feet.

Hux went upstairs while Rey worked on removing her mud-covered rain boots, managing despite her best efforts to get her hands all dirty.

“Oh Great!” she mumbled. She needed to clean herself but she hadn’t be shown the location of the bathroom. She tried to call:

“Mr. Hux? Sorry, but I need to use the bathroom”.

Still, there was no replay.

“Damn it”, she cursed before she decided to follow him upstairs.

The stairs led her to the house’s poorly lit and uninviting second floor. She didn’t see which way the lawyer went and listened carefully, trying to detect some kind of movement.

“Hux?” she called again with no success.

“What is up with this bloody house?” she muttered, thinking that it would be preferable to go back downstairs and wait for him.

A strange noise, however, caught her attention. It was coming from down the hallway, the unmistakable sound of a typewriter. She leaned to one side, trying to discover the origin of the noise.

“Here!” Hux startled her when he appeared behind her, carrying a few towels in his hands. “I thought you would be waiting for me downstairs.

\- I need to wash my hands!”

Rey showed him her dirty palms as if she needed to account for her presence on the second floor.

“There is a bathroom downstairs”, he revealed, gazing at her with a suspicious look.

She followed him, noticing that the pounding noise of the typewriter’s keys had stopped.

After she got the chance to dry and clean herself, Rey went to join Hux at the “cabinet of wonders”, as she had decided to call the room where her client kept his collection. She didn’t bring a spare pair of shoes and had to walk around in her socks, ignoring how the lawyer kept rolling his eyes at her.

“Who lives in this house?” she attacked right away and noticed how her assertive tone had made Hux lift one eyebrow.

“Kylo Ren, of course.

\- Was it him I saw yesterday?

- You saw him?

\- Someone was watching me, from upstairs. They were wearing a mask!

\- That would be Ren, yes.

\- Does he always wear a mask?

\- Miss Rey, Mister Ren...has his reasons.

\- Is he insane?

\- He is...eccentric.

\- That’s the word they usually use to describe insane people when they’re rich!”

Hux laughed at this. He was visibly enjoying Rey’s comments and she wondered if he actually appreciated his client.

“He kept sneaking on me, yesterday. Does he always do that?

\- Miss Rey...

\- What does he want?

\- Nothing. He wants you to do your job.

\- My boss told me that Mister Ren has insisted that  _I_  would be the one to catalog and evaluate his collection. How does he even know me?

\- He knows your reputation.

\- I have no reputation.

\- You have probably worked for one of his friends and they told him about you.

\- I am surprised he has friends, when he lives like this, secluded alone deep in the wood!

\- He has acquaintances”.

It was rather troubling, the way Hux seemed to have a ready-made response for every question she asked him. He was a lawyer, after all.

“Was it him, upstairs? I heard typing.

\- Yes. You do know who Kylo Ren is, don’t you Miss Rey?”

Rey looked at Hux with her two big innocent eyes and he snorted in derision.

“You have never heard of him? He is a writer, and a famous one.

\- A writer! Yes. Yes, of course”.

It came back to her, all of a sudden. Kylo Ren was a well-known sci-fi and fantasy author. How could she have forgotten?

_The realization brought a memory back, one of her visiting her favorite bookstore, a place where she could freely consult all kinds of art essays and_   
_catalogues she couldn’t afford. There was an event organised that day, a book signing. She noticed a crowd of people waiting in a long line to get their books signed by their favourite writer and as an enthusiastic employee introduced him, they all applauded and cheered as if he were some kind of superstar._

A deep frown settled upon Rey’s futures as she tried desperately to remember the way he looked, but somehow she was unable to. Her ears starting ringing, the noise getting louder and louder, until it became painful, nearly insufferable.

“Are you alright? You look pale”, she heard Hux inquiring and his voice brought her back to the present, freeing her of the state of torpor she had fallen into.

“Yes! I’m Ok.

\- Would you like me to get you some water?

\- No, thank you. I’ll manage.

\- About that…I know you have proved discreet already and didn’t go snooping around the house, yesterday. I hope it will remain that way.

- Am I not allowed to move around the house?

\- Of course, you can. Although, it would be preferable to stick to the general areas. Mister Ren is a very secretive man. He cherishes his privacy above all”.

Nodding in agreement, Rey tried to extinguish the curiosity that was growing inside her, burning like an irrepressible fire.

It was nearly eleven when Hux finally left and she was able to resume her work.

She started exploratory the content of the first cabinet but had trouble concentrating at first, her mind preoccupied by all the information that had been revealed to her. The three drawers at the bottom were impressive in size and content.

Inside, there were maps and atlases, ranging from the very old to the modern. They were going to require a lot of research if she wanted to identify their origins and evaluate their value properly. For now, she decided to stick to describing them summarily, focusing rather on their aspects.

After a couple of hours of work, Rey’s stomach manifested itself with insistence:

“Hey, hey, hey! Time to eat!”

Well, she wasn’t going to argue with it.

In her way to the kitchen, she was surprised to hear some clattering noises. Carefully, she entered the room, wondering if it was Kylo Ren. Maybe she would finally get to meet him properly.

Instead, there was a young man so busy setting food over the kitchen counter he didn’t notice her arrival right away. When he finally did, he blenched:

“Oh god!” he yelled, clenching his shirt at heart-level as if he were going to have an attack.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!

- It’s OK… I’m OK”.

He exhaled then laughed at himself, quickly regaining his calm.

“I apologise Miss. I didn’t think there was somebody in the house. Are you the owner?

\- No. I just work here.

- Oh!

\- Are you a cook?

\- No, I work for the catering company. I just deliver the food.

\- I see. Was it you who brought the food, yesterday?

- Yes, indeed.

\- Thanks! It was very good!

-  Well, thank you, Miss”.

Rey smiled at him then. Something in this young man made her feel at ease right away.

“You can call me Rey.

- Alright ! Nice to meet you, Rey. I am Finn.

\- Nice to meet you too. So! What did you bring us today, Finn?”

Rey got closer and he uncovered the covered plate that he had set over the counter.

“Penne arrabiata”, he announced proudly, in a much-exaggerated Italian accent.

“That is spicy, isn’t?

- Don’t you like spicy food?

- Actually, I do.

\- I suppose the person who ordered it for you knew that.

\- Wait! Who ordered this food?

\- I guess…the owner of the house?”

Finn dipped into his pocket to get the receipt.

“One Mister...Ren! Is that right?”

Impossible! He couldn’t know her that well. That could only be a coincidence! Finn seemed to notice her deep confusion:

“Rey! Are you alright?

\- I’m fine”, she reassured him, forcing a smile.

The young man nodded and resumed laying the rest of the lunch on the counter before Rey. As soon as he was done, he collected the tin box in which he brought the food and was about to leave when she stopped him:

“Can you please stay a bit longer?

\- I don’t think I can”, he said half-heartedly, but it was very hard to resist those big beseeching eyes of hers.

“Oh, I suppose I could spare a few minutes”.

He sat down on the opposite side of the counter and Rey grinned like a child who had obtained exactly what they desired.

“Feel free to dig in”, she encouraged him.

“No, I couldn’t.

\- Why? I won’t be telling your boss if that’s what frightens you.

\- No, it is more a matter of principle.

\- Suit yourself! It’s your loss!”

Rey couldn’t wait to taste this new dish and as she took her first bite, she couldn’t retain a loud, nearly indecent, moan.

“Gosh, it’s so good!

- I’m glad.

\- Please, you have to tell your cook that he’s a genius.

\- I will surely tell him that”.

Finn seemed so proud that Rey could easily guess that he had a special relationship with the cook.

They continued talking about their jobs while Rey went through her meal, and they quickly fell into a friendly dynamic. Finn was so easy-going that she had no trouble at all opening up to him.

“This house is so quiet! It gives me the creeps”, he commented.

“Right?” she hit the counter with the palm of her hand to strengthen her point. “It is almost unnatural. I can’t hear the sound of my own steps when I walk. I don’t even know how it’s possible…

\- Oh no! I am running late! I have to go!”

Before she could finish, Finn jumped out of his chair, apologizing to Rey that he couldn’t stay any longer. She thanked him and watched as he left in a hurry, promising to come back again tomorrow.

She finished her dessert alone, a delicious small lemon meringue pie, missing his company already.

The silence buzzed in her ears and it annoyed her more than any noise. she sighed heavily before she went back to her work.

When she got in the room this time, she, however, decided to leave the door open so she could hear any noise coming from inside the house. Like a hunter, she waited patiently and listened carefully for any movement and soon enough it came to her ear; the sound of a typewriter, faint but clear enough that she could detect the ferocity in which the keys fell one after another.

She tried to concentrate on her task but to no avail. The noise kept echoing inside the house, growing stronger and angrier. It frightened her so much she had to run to the door, her legs trembling, to shut it and lock it so she could finally feel safe again.

The noise vanished then and Rey was able to breathe again. The urge to flee was very strong but she bravely tamed it and went back to studying the last atlas she’d found in the first cabinet.

Unlike the other atlases of the collection, this one had some written annotations. It was a rather recent edition, dating from 1988, and Rey discovered as she leafed through it that some regions had been marked with an x. One page that had the map of the Fiji Islands had this sentence written on it: “One day, I will go there”.

It went straight to her heart. She was inexplicably affected by this promise, so innocent yet definitive.

She wrote down the description, and although it was just a half past four, she decided to postpone the rest of her work for the next day. If the forest was as muddy as it had been in the morning, she had to leave early to get to the city before sundown. She gathered her stuff and felt some relief when she left the room.

A surprise awaited her at the entrance lobby; her rain boots had been cleaned and were neatly aligned before the door. Who could have done it? It couldn’t have been Finn as he left in a hurry earlier and she couldn’t imagine Hux bothering with such a menial task.

She grabbed one boot and examined closely. The person who cleaned it had been very meticulous. It looked good as new. She stooped down but stopped short from putting it on. She threw it down in anger and yelled:

“That’s enough!”

Before she could properly consider it, she took the stairs and went straight to the room down the hall, the one she thought the typing noise came from. She didn’t care about Hux’s warning or the gloomy atmosphere of the hallway. She was fed up with this game and she was determined to put an end to it.

The door was locked and she knocked furiously:

“Open the door!” she demanded. “I’ve had enough of this!”

There was no response but her instincts told her that there was someone listening inside the room.

“What do you want from me?” she cried, now hitting the door with both her palms.

“Leave!”

She thought she heard something and went suddenly still. She had to place her ear against the wood in hope to hear it again.

“Leave!” a horrifying voice ordered her. It sounded nothing like a human.

She stepped back in fear, panting and shivering. She had tears in her eyes when she ran down the stairs. She put her boots and her raincoat in a hurry and didn’t even spare a second look back while she left the house.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finn makes his entrance! I have to say, I love Finn. I really wanted to give him a bigger role in this story. 
> 
> I forgot to tell you that I have put some clues all over the story so you could guess what it all means. Oh, I can't wait to know what you think.
> 
> Thank you for your comments and kudoes! You have no idea how much happiness they can bring (or maybe you do, if you also write fanfictions. I am always on the lookout to discover new stories, so don't hesitate to tell me about them)!


	3. Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey searched for information on Kylo Ren, but the more she discovers about him, the more intriguing he becomes.

Today, Rey came prepared. She would no longer let fear take control of her. She was ready to confront him. 

She had spent all night searching the internet for any information she could find on Kylo Ren. Despite the huge number of sites that mentioned him, the details concerning him were scarce and often redundant. Oddly enough, none of the web pages she visited included a photo of him.

One interesting detail she discovered though was that Kylo Ren was apparently part of a paganist cult that practiced black magic.

The internet was far more prodigal in information regarding this cult. It was known as “The First Order” and had been founded by a guru who called himself Snoke. He preached the usual cults’ nonsense. According to his “teachings”, reality was an illusion and only the initiated few could hope to free themselves and reach true illumination. 

The only photograph she managed to find of Snoke showed an old bald man dressed up like an oriental monk. His face was strangely out of focus but she could see that he was horribly deformed. 

Did Kylo Ren wear a mask because he was also disfigured? Perhaps the cult required that he hid his face. 

Whatever the reason, she still didn’t know what he wanted from her and she had to go back to the house if she hoped to unveil the mystery.

When she reached the house for her third day of work, Rey felt more confident. So Kylo Ren was a strange, perhaps mad client who walked around dressed like a dark wizard and showed some pretty unusual behavior. She wouldn't allow it to come in her way and keep her from the task she had to accomplish.

Nevertheless, she was certainly unprepared when Hux handed her the key to the house.

“A key? Why?

\- I can’t keep coming every day to open the door for you. I have other business to attend to.   
\- You mean you won’t be coming back?   
\- It depends if Ren will be needing me”.

Hux was gracious enough not to interpret Rey’s disappointment as a sign of interest, or maybe was he himself not very interested in her. Either way, she was glad their relationship was so clearly professional.

“Ren trusts you’ll make good use of this key”.

Rey looked down at the intricate piece of metal she held in the palm of her hand. It was such an ordinary key for such an uncommon place.

She barely noticed when Hux left while she mused on the true implications of this latest development.

Around her, her client’s collection of objects awaited patiently until she brought her attention back to it. She saw it under a different light now that she imagined Kylo Ren as some sort of dark sorcerer. She was rather relieved that the only natural curiosities that his collection included were the hollow seashells and exotic plants. Traditional cabinets of wonders had all sorts of bones, stuffed animals and specimens preserved in formol and were often reminiscent of a witch’s cardboard. 

The ensemble of seashells kept in the first cabin was quite amazing. They were of all shapes and dimensions, some spiky, other soft like polished marble. Rey was glad she had thought to bring a book on marine mollusks so she could identify them.

She was more of an art expert, but she knew enough about biology. Nature is the greatest artist there is, after all. 

The seashells required a very careful handling but Rey was already well reputed for her finesse among her colleagues. As she took their measures, she couldn’t resist bringing one remarkably big conch to her ear so she could enjoy the sound of the circulating air that reminded her so much of the sea.

She suddenly felt melancholic and as she delicately put down the shell over the desk, she got lost in her thoughts.

The sea. She didn’t recall ever going there, and yet she could distinctly remember the odor of salt and the sound of waves breaking against the cliffs.

Did she dream it?

The time Finn would arrive with her lunch came by quickly. She decided to wait for him at the kitchen and soon enough he arrived.

She was so happy to see him again she nearly hugged him, though she guessed they didn’t reach that level of intimacy yet.

“Would you help me with something, Finn?” she ask right away. 

She had been elaborating a plant in her head since last night and couldn’t wait to share it with him. 

“Sure! What do you need me to do?

\- I’d like you to pretend that we are having a conversation while I go hide in the hallway.   
\- What?! Why?”

Finn looked at her as if she’d lost her mind. She leaned forward to whisper her explanation: 

“I think Mister Ren has been stalking me.

\- That is… I mean, are you sure?   
\- I saw him, Finn. Two days ago, he was watching me while I was eating, then from his window when I was about to leave.    
\- Oh my god, that sounds freaky! Did he do it again since?   
\- I am not sure. Please, Finn. I need your help. I want to catch him red-handed so I can confront him.   
\- What do you want me to do? I can’t really sound like you”.

He said the last sentence imitating her distinctive British accent in a high pitched voice that sounded nothing like her.

“You’re an idiot!” she laughed, hitting his arm playfully and he replied in false indignation:

“Why? Just because I am bad at acting doesn’t mean I am an idiot.

\- Yeah, sure. Sorry I insulted your intelligence, mister clever.   
\- You better believe it. Go on! I will try to sound believable”.

Rey left the kitchen in search of a good hiding place where she could wait quietly for her prey. 

She hadn’t been entirely honest with Finn, or with herself for that matter. The truth was that she was dying to see Kylo Ren again. She didn’t have a proper look at him when she last saw him and her curiosity had been teasing her ever since. He intrigued her, and the more she knew about him, the more she wanted to uncover the secret that surrounded him

“Oh Rey! What’s wrong with your voice? I can barely hear you. Did you catch a cold after all the rain yesterday?” she heard Finn say.

She had to cover her mouth not to burst into laughter and instead it came as a loud ungraceful puff out her nose. He might not be good at imitations, but he certainly made up in imagination. 

Finn went on with the charade as long as she remained hidden in the dark corner of the corridor, but disappointingly enough, no one showed up.

Her look was of pure defeat when she joined him back in the kitchen.

“Look, maybe he learned his lesson when you first caught him watching you”, he tried to cheer her up.

“Maybe”, she conceded, now a bit embarrassed about the whole situation. She feared she might come out as a bit deranged. 

Nevertheless, thanks to the food that Finn brought her and to the cheerful tone of their discussion, Rey felt her spirits lifting up again. The salmon in papillote and red berries pudding were an absolute delight and Finn’s hilarious tales about the strange clients he dealt with on a daily basis made her forget about her unsuccessful plan. 

She accompanied her new friend to the lobby and told him she was looking forward to seeing him again. 

When the door closed behind him, the house fell quiet again, eliciting feelings of loneliness and melancholy in Rey. She was usually comfortable being on her own. Her work often demanded she’d spend hours alone. Yet, the eerie atmosphere of the place was starting to affect her mood.

Her eyes climbed the helical stairs and her melancholy morphed into an inexplicable longing. 

“Please stop hiding. Show yourself to me”, she implored in a hushed voice as if she were invoking a spirit.

She wondered if Kylo Ren was really home today. How was she to know? There was no sound, no sign he actually was in the house with her.

With a deep sigh, she headed back for the "cabinet of wonders” to resume her work, when an idea came to her. She never had the opportunity to properly explore the house. Hux had encouraged her to stick to the general areas, but she was too curious. How was he to know, anyway, if she didn't obey his orders?

Beside the small corridor leading to the room where her client kept his personal collection, two large hallways were connected to the entrance hall, each leading to a different part of the house: one to the kitchen, a dining room and a large bathroom, the other to an open living area and several rooms which doors were all closed.

The space was saturated with items of furniture of gothic and romantic styles that appealed to Rey’s taste. They whispered to her what they knew about the man whose mystery she was desperate to unveil. The artworks that adorned the walls complemented this phantasmagoric world. 

Behind two similar facing chairs was the reproduction of a painting Rey identified as the work of symbolist artist, Ferdinand Khnopff. The red-headed woman delicately leaning her head over her interlocked hands stared back at Rey while she examined the picture, but it was the statue of the god Hypnos that the artist had included into the painting that held her attention. The blue strained wing adorning the divinity's head had an ethereal feel to it, almost hypnotic. 

As Rey continued her exploration of the first floor, she noticed an odd thing about the house. There were no straight lines, it was only made of curves. From the spiral stairs to the slightly sinuous form of the hallways, the whole residence followed an organic design that one might not expect by looking at its sober exterior.

Rey searched for an object relating to “The First Order” cult. Apart from some primitive statues, she found none.

The doors to the rooms of the first floor wouldn’t budge despite her best efforts and it frustrated her to no end. She felt vindictive, an urge to rebel inciting her to reckless decisions. 

She climbed the stairs in a rush and went straight to her client’s room. She hadn’t thought about what she might tell him, what reason she could offer him to explain her behavior. No. She only needed to get him out of his lair and face him. She needed to understand.

The sound of her knocks on the door was loud in the quiet corridor. 

“Mister Ren! I need to see you!” she called loudly enough for him to hear, her voice fortunately not betraying her inner turmoil.

There was no answer despite her insisting calls. She stopped knocking when she became convinced that it was useless. She felt ridiculous, a bit petulant, and with a deep cleansing sigh, she walked away from the door.

When she reached the end of the hallway where the light was remarkably brighter, for the first time ever, she heard steps echoing in the house and it made her stop. The stomping noise grew louder and Rey’s pulse accelerated. She slowly turned around, a dull sensation taking hold of her members. 

The sound of a lock mechanism resounded in her ear and the door was suddenly open. The imposing dark figure of Kylo Ren appeared at the threshold and it felt like time had stopped.

He stood still, observing her intently.  She could see it better now, his hooded form covered in black from head to toe, and like a vortex made of darkness, she felt undeniably drawn to him.

She couldn’t move, as if he had cast a spell on her. Her breathing grew labored and a sensation of cold run through her spine. Yet, excitement made her blood pump faster in her veins.

She somehow expected to feel fear or even anger when she met him. She instead felt compelled to get closer, the allure of his mystery so powerful she could hardly resist.

“Please”, she begged, trying to take a step forward, her arm reaching for him.

Her legs were awfully weak. She took three shallow steps before she felt the floor falling from under her feet.

She fell and fell for what seemed like an eternity. She heard whispering voices she couldn’t understand, a screeching noise that sounded like the never-ending note of a discorded violin and her name, uttered over and over again by a voice she couldn’t recognize but that made her feel horribly sad. 

Rey opened her eyes and found herself in a room she didn’t recognize. She was laying on a bed, fully clothed but barefoot. A cover had been placed over her made of such soft fabric that it felt like a caress over her heated skin. She pushed it aside and tried to get up on her feet, though all she could accomplish was to fall back over the mattress. Obviously, the dizziness wasn’t entirely gone. 

Rey let her gaze wander around the room. Although the furniture and objects all looked old, there was something distinctly feminine about the place.

When the rest of the house was a strange blend of gothic and 19th-century influences, this particular room had its proper identity thanks to a mix of elements from different traditions. Rey quickly registered its components: a classic four-poster bed, a swirling armchair with a typical 60s design, carpets from the Middle-East and South-America, a rococo vanity covered in bottles, vials and boxes and a dresser that looked like something an Art Nouveau artist would have designed. The walls were decorated with botanical representations and tapestries. Rey would have loved to live in a room such as this.

She wondered who it belonged to. She thought that Kylo Ren lived alone in the house and the decoration of the room was too unusual and specific for it to be merely a guest room.

“Are you feeling better?” 

Rey was spooked by the booming mechanized voice she identified as Kylo Ren’s. 

She could sense him standing behind the slightly opened door. He apparently could see her, but she didn’t. She tried to stand when he stopped her:

“No! Don’t”.

Instead of intimidating, he sounded beseeching. His artificial voice carried an unexpected gentleness and it compelled her to comply, though she still needed to understand:

“Mister Ren! Why are you hiding?

\- I have made a mistake. You are not ready to see me yet.   
\- What? What do you mean?   
\- The important thing is that you are better now. Please, you have to concentrate on the collection. You have to stop trying to see me”.

Rey was reminded of the cult that Kylo Ren belonged to. Despite all the information she had found on The First Order, she still knew nothing regarding the nature of their rituals or the specificities of their beliefs. Maybe her client wasn’t allowed to be seen by those who didn’t belong to the cult. It didn’t explain why she fainted when she saw him earlier.

Rey felt strong enough to finally get on her feet. She rushed towards the door in hope to find Kylo Ren behind it, but there was nothing there apart from her shoes. A deep frown contorted her tired features and she fought the urge to pull her hair and scream in frustration. She had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself down.

She left the room and followed the corridor until it brought her to the stairs. She went down and headed back for the room where her personal stuff awaited her.

It was already dusk outside and she had to leave quickly if she didn’t want to cycle through the woods in the dark.

A shortbread cookie helped her regain some energy and she rushed for the entrance lobby. The memory of Kylo Ren was vivid in her mind. She kept thinking of him, the way he looked, the words he said. Never before in her life had she met a man this strange and intriguing. 

When she got outside and retrieved her bike, she looked up at the window where she first saw him, a couple of days ago. She wished, from the bottom of her heart, that he would appear to her again, unafraid it might cause her to faint again, but her wish went unfulfilled. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This is the painting Rey sees in Kylo Ren's house](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/cf/Fernand_Khnopff_-_I_lock_my_door_upon_myself.jpeg). It is untitled "I lock my door upon myself" referring to a poem by Christina Rossetti called "Who shall deliver me?". 
> 
> I absolutely LOVE symbolist art. Khnopff is one of its greatest representatives and his paintings have that eerie quality to them that I believe applies perfectly to the atmosphere that I imagine for this story. 
> 
> There is a little more description in this chapter, and I hope it didn't come out as...mmm...boring. I wanted to give you an idea about the environment in which this story takes place and, here's a hint, the house itself is an element of the mystery. 
> 
> Your kudos, comments, and bookmarks are my kind of candy! I never get enough of them!


	4. Day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey brings music to the silent house.  
> She discovers something important about Kylo Ren's private collection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you would like to listen to the songs mentionned in this chapters, here are the links: 
> 
> \- Cheek to cheek by Ella Fitzgerald (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzSxvyX3QfA)
> 
> \- Let's Go crazy by Prince (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXJhDltzYVQ) 
> 
> \- Dream a little dream of me (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7j8wa9sWOE)
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey attacked the new day with renewed vigor.

She was determined not to let the events of the previous day get her behind on her work. She’d had enough of the dulling silence of Kylo Ren’s house and she, therefore, needed some support to boost her energy.

She removed the backpack she carried over her shoulders as soon as she got inside the house.

“I brought some music today. I hope you don’t mind”, she announced loudly so the owner of the place could hear her.

She went straight for the room where his private collection awaited her. She laid down her tools first, then produced a small cassette player out of her backpack. It was an old 80s model working with batteries that had a mediocre sound by today’s standards. Still, Rey was hugely attached to it.

The tape she wanted to listen to was already inside and she only had to press the play button for the music to flood the room.

The songs that played were by artists from different time periods and genres, from Doris Day to David Bowie. Ella Fitzgerald’s version of “Cheek to cheek” was one of her all-time favorites and she sang to the tune with earnest pleasure while she leafed through an ancient voluminous herbarium book:

 _Come on and dance with me_  
_I want my arms about you_  
_That those charms about you_  
_Will carry me through._  
_Right up to heaven, I'm in heaven._

She didn’t possess a proper singing voice, but she sang with such abandon and delight that it sounded lovely all the same.

Rey looked up, wondering if Kylo Ren could hear her. The song was about two lovers dancing and she suddenly imagined him holding her, covering her with his black cape and spinning to the rhythm of the song with her in his arms.

The image was so enticing, she closed her eyes to delve into it, imagining how it would feel to be this close to him, dancing in the arms of a masked creature.

The music stopped and it pulled her out of her reverie. She opened her eyelids with a gasp, suddenly grasping the disturbing nature of her vision.

She decided to go to the bathroom and wash her face in hope to put some order in her thoughts. When she came back to the “cabinet of wonders”, she found a typewritten note over her desk.

It said:

“Miss Rey,  
I don’t mind you putting some music as long as it helps you get through your work.  
Kylo Ren”.

Rey looked around wondering how he managed to sneak inside the room and leave the note in such a short time.

Her hand trembled slightly when she touched the embedded letters. She wished he had written it by hand so she could see his own handwriting.

Rey was aware of her growing fascination for her client and it frightened her, slightly, though she gave in to it more willingly that she wanted to admit.

She’d always had a liking for the bizarre and she found beauty in the most strange things. She liked Poe and Baudelaire’s way of glorifying the dark and macabre in their writings.

Kylo Ren with his eccentric behavior and taste for the gothic reminded her of such writers. French novelist and poet Gérard de Nerval was said to have owned a pet lobster he walked around at the end of a silk ribbon! In comparison, Kylo Ren’s mask and outfit didn’t seem that odd.

Rey tore a page from her notebook and scribbled a reply that she went to carry to Kylo Ren’s room right away. When she reached his door, she carefully slipped the message under it and rushed back downstairs. She could barely contain the playful smile that forced itself over her lips.

A few minutes later, back in the “cabinet of wonders”, while she examined the contents of two rare old book editions on botany, Rey saw a piece of paper being pushed under the door. She bit her lower lip in excitement and waited a few seconds before leaving her chair to pick it up.

“Miss Rey,  
We seem to have the same taste in music, so whatever you choose, I will enjoy.  
Kylo Ren".

Enjoy! It said ‘enjoy’! She had asked what kind of music he would like to hear and expected him to request some epic classical piece or a baroque composition with harpsichord, but his reply managed to surprise her.

He suddenly no longer seemed as reclusive and intimidating as she first believed. She could see him now under a new light, one that revealed him as slightly more human than his strange accouterment and behavior would suggest.

Rey slipped the note inside her notebook. She wanted to keep it, like a precious souvenir, and part of her chided her for her schoolgirl's behavior.

The morning went by, and Rey was satisfied with the quantity of work she had already accomplished. She was done surveying the objects contained in the first cabinet and she had already attacked the content of the adjacent showcase. She decided she was ready for a well-deserved lunch.

It was with an undeniable pleasure that she found Finn in the kitchen. She thought to bring her cassette player with her and suggested they would listen to some music while he set the dishes and served the meal for her: a tenderloin steak with cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes chips followed by a small walnut turtle pie.

“May I”, he offered her his hand, inviting her to dance with him as she was eating.

Rey giggled in her adorable way, sucked the cranberry sauce off her fingers and cleaned her hands with a napkin, then took his hand in hers.

They improvised a clumsy yet amusing little choreography over Prince’s “Let’s Go crazy”.

“You are so beautiful Rey!” complemented Finn over the sound of music.

“Are you hitting on me?” she joked, knowing perfectly well that his tone carried no trace of flirting.

“Sorry, Rey! But you are not my type. All women aren’t.  
\- You are gay!

\- Yes. But you look so cute swaying your hips like this, I might reconsider.  
\- You can’t _reconsider_ your sexual orientation, Finn!  
\- That’s what I like to hear!”

They joined hands and whirled around, Rey’s happy laughter echoing in the house.

“So, do you have a boyfriend? A cute boyfriend?  
\- Well...no. I don’t think men see me that way.  
\- What?! Why do you think Kylo Ren has been stalking you? He couldn’t resist your beauty”.

To these words, Rey abruptly stopped dancing, looking utterly perplexed.

“I am sorry, Rey. I didn’t mean… I know this is no laughing matter”, Finn apologized. He seemed utterly mortified.

“No. No, it’s okay. It’s just...Finn, something happened yesterday.  
\- What? With Kylo Ren? Did he do something to you?  
\- No… I saw him and something strange happened. I fainted.  
\- My God, Rey! Are you alright?  
\- Yes, I am fine. Finn, he had been nice to me. He carried me to a bedroom and waited until I regained conscience. He was really understanding. I think I might have judged him too hastily.  
\- Well… You be careful, okay?  
\- Yes”, her voice had a happy ring to it in reaction to Finn’s protective tone.

It was amazing how easily she opened up to this man. She usually had trouble getting close to others, but Finn was so sincere, so caring, even her usually solitary nature couldn’t hold her away from him.

Came the time he had to leave and the two promised to meet each other the next day.

Finn reiterated his warning to Rey regarding Kylo Ren.

“Do you happen to know anything about him?” she asked while he stepped out the door.

“Not much! Just the usual gossip. We’ll talk about it more tomorrow, okay?  
\- Sure.  
\- Bye, Rey”.

As a goodbye, she stepped outside the house and gave him a shy kiss on the cheek. His bright smile assured her she didn’t cross a line.

When she returned to her work, she felt hopeful. This job proved much more agreeable than any she had had before, Rey though. She was making a new friend and she was feeling more and more comfortable around her strange client.

The collection she studied was in itself fascinating, rather original.

The content of the showcase was revealed to be quite unusual. Tin mechanical toys, music boxes, and small lead figurines were objects she had already met in her past assignments. They could be considered valuable if rare and well-kept, but a single doll made her wonder about the true nature of Kylo Ren’s private collection.

It was a rag doll sewn together out of orange and white recycled fabrics. It looked like a voodoo doll with its ill-defined form and Rey knew that it couldn’t hold any market value. She held it in the palm of her gloved hand and felt emotional at the realization that small object probably had a great sentimental value. It had been kept, carefully, among an ensemble of precious toys. Still, she couldn’t fathom why it had been integrated into the collection.

Rey looked around and considered the collection from a new perspective. Rather than a rational assortment of precious artifacts, it appeared to her now like an accumulation of mementos, and it made more sense. The eclectic nature of the collection had intrigued her, but it didn’t occur to her until now that it was instead an ensemble of souvenirs. Souvenirs that Kylo Ren wanted to get rid of.

Rey put the doll down and wrote in her notebook:

“Ragdoll.  
3” long.  
Materials: Orange and white vinyl fabric.  
No value”.

Somehow, it saddened her to write the last remark and she crossed it off with zeal.

“True value unknown”, she added instead.

The afternoon went by and she made a lot of progress in her work. She was curious now to know what each object really meant to her client. She aspired to discover his true personality through his collection.

Sunset was arriving soon and still Rey wanted to finish studying the last object remaining in the showcase: a lacquered wood music box she recognized as Japanese. Such an ancient model was very fragile and very rare and her hands trembled slightly when she lifted the lead.

A beautiful melody started playing, its mechanism surprisingly still intact, and Rey thought it familiar even if she couldn’t really place it. She chased the memory when, all of a sudden, the lights went out.

The room was plunged in pitch black darkness. In her panic, Rey knocked the chair over and run to the door.

When she left the room, she was met with silence and equal obscurity. She reached for the wall and followed its sinuous form so she could progress through the corridor. The only sounds that accompanied her were her loud panting breaths and the beat of her heart.

She reached the hall if her memories were accurate, but she couldn’t see any better and she felt her fear searing irrationally. She felt lost, spinning around in panic, trying to locate the door or at least the hallway that led to the kitchen where she knew there was a window.

“Give me your hand”, she heard the alien voice of Kylo Ren telling her.

She gasped loudly in surprise. He had come near her without her noticing. Instinctively, she took a step back and nearly fell when her foot got caught in a rug.

Kylo Ren caught her in midair and carefully put her back on her feet. He took her hand in his and she allowed him to lead her through the house. If they weren’t in complete darkness, he would see the expression of total awe she had on her face.

The way he delicately held the tip of her fingers reminded her of the manner dance partners would touch in Victorian novels. He didn’t rush her as he guided her and adjusted his steps to her own rhythm.

They arrived in the living room where a large window allowed in the last faint rays of light. Rey didn't dare turn and face him again, dreading her agitation would get worse. He brought her to a seat where she sat obediently while he went to take the one facing it.

Slowly, carefully, she rose her head and looked at him. She saw that he was sitting in the dark, his seat safely hidden from the last rays of light. The only parts of him she could really distinguish were his hands firmly clenched over the armrests, and his long legs. Rey had never noticed how tall and imposing he was.

“What happened?” she finally managed to inquire.

“Power cut”, he explained.

They fell silent for a moment, observing each other nervously. A strange trepidation, or rather anticipation, gained Rey. She gathered her courage to ask him a question that had been nagging her for days:

“Mister Ren. My boss, Unkar Plutt, he told me you have asked for me specifically to evaluate your collection. May I ask you why?”

Kylo Ren seemed clearly on edge. His gloved fingers twitched and she could hear his breathing accelerating through his mask:

“Only _you_ can do it”, he answered cryptically, which frustrated Rey rather than satisfied her curiosity:

“Why? Anyone of my colleagues could have done this job. They have the knowledge and expertise...  
\- But only you have the emotional depth to understand.  
\- How...how would you know that? Mister Ren, why do I have the feeling you know too much about me?”

The power came back on and Rey’s gaze was drawn to the bright light that lit the living room. When she brought her attention back to her client, she jumped at the sight on him. She fluttered her eyelashes at the realization that she had never seen him this close and so clearly before.

His mask, she noticed, was intricate and strange, a true work of art. She examined him so intently, her lips slightly open, her eyes sparkling with fascination, he tilted his head in curiosity. Rey shied away and lowered her eyes as if it were a taboo to look at him this way, but she couldn’t resist for long.

She fixated him again, her eyes drinking the details of his person. The elements of his dark outfit, the broadness of his shoulders, the length of his members. His voice resonated from his mask, distorted through a modulator, but Rey was starting to the recognise the elegant and soft inflections in the way he talked.

“I usually gather information on my potential employees before I hire them”, he replied to a question she had already forgotten.

She didn’t react. She just stared at him, utterly fascinated, like a biologist who discovered a new species.

She had never met someone like him before.

“It is getting dark. Are you certain you will be alright traveling through the woods at this hour?”

Rey swiftly turned her head to look through the window and saw that he was right. It was already rather dark outside and the woods put on a menacing cloak.

“Oh my god!” Rey exclaimed, jumping out of her seat.

She was about to run to the room where she left her belongings so she could retrieve them and leave the house quickly when Kylo Ren suggested:

“You can stay here if it’s better for you”.

She turned to face him again, slowly, uncertain if she heard right.

“I would prefer if you stayed”.

Rey knitted her eyebrows and he must have noticed her confusion as he added:

  
“You can stay in the room you saw yesterday. It has a key. You can close the door if it makes you feel safer.  
\- No, it’s not that. I mean...  
\- Do you accept?  
\- Yes”.

She agreed shyly. Part of her was mortified at this turn of event, but mostly she felt oddly excited. She was getting deeper inside Kylo Ren’s world. It was maybe a rare opportunity for her to understand him better and finally reveal his mystery.

Rey followed him while he led her back to the room where she had woken up the previous day after she had fainted.

“There are clothes inside the wardrobe if you want to change”, he revealed. “And there is frozen food in the fridge downstairs if you are hungry.  
\- What about you?” she demanded, trying awkwardly to incite him to join her.

“I eat alone. Good night, Miss Rey”.

With this disappointing reply, he left her alone in the bedroom. She sighed then went to the wardrobe to get an outfit for the night. Inside, she found an extensive collection of garments fitted for every occasion. She spotted a simple azur night dress that looked rather comfortable and she grabbed it and threw it over the bed while she freed herself from her professional garb.

As she undressed, she thought about Kylo Ren and the way he had held her hand. It had been almost...tender. But he still proved austere and distant when he talked to her. He had been generous and understanding, but she wondered if it wasn’t in his nature to be respectful and nice to his employees.

Oddly enough, the thought aggravated her. The realization that maybe she wasn’t as special to him as she first assumed filled her with unexpected disappointment.

Rey put on the nightgown and was surprised by how perfectly it suited her. There were no mirrors if the room, but she could guess that she looked quite fetching in it with its delicate laces and beautiful color that adorned her sunkissed skin.

She opened the door and looked both sides to see if Kylo Ren was still there, but he obviously returned to his impenetrable lair. She descended the stairs barefoot and headed for the kitchen.

By night, the house felt eerier still. Silence and darkness filled the space with a disconcerting atmosphere, and Rey surprised herself hurrying to turn the switch on to light up the kitchen.

She selected a frozen meal from the full freezer, as Kylo Ren instructed, and put it in the microwave. She sat at the counter and ate alone, regretting that Finn couldn’t be with her to chase the heavy silence away.

Rey noticed that she had left her cassette player in the kitchen and she gladly put the music on, after turning the sound a bit lower.

“Dream a little dream of me” played and it put a smile on her lips.

“How appropriate!” she said out loud and started humming the tune while she stuffed her mouth with delicious cheese and mushrooms macaroni.

When she was done eating, she turned the music off and went back to the bedroom upstairs.

There, she searched for a pen and some paper which she found in the nightstand drawer, next to a framed photograph of a seaside.

She wrote her short message and headed towards Kylo Ren’s room. She hesitated at first, holding the message against her chest, then stooping to slip it under the door.

She waited until she saw the piece of paper completely disappear.

“Mister Ren,  
I have neglected to thank you for your help yesterday and your invitation to stay at your house tonight.  
Forgive me and thank you!  
Rey”, it read.

She was going back to her room for the night when she heard the faint sound of paper being slipped under the door. She went to retrieve the note in a hurry and when she read it, a warmness spread inside her chest and crooked her lips up into an earnest smile.

“Miss Rey,  
You are welcome and will always be.  
Kylo Ren”. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear readers, 
> 
> I am so delighted by your reactions! Your comments are the best gifts I could hope for as a fanfiction writer. 
> 
> Please, don't hesitate to ask me your questions about the story if you'd like to. I will try to answer them, without spoiling the fun for you. 
> 
> De Nerval did really own a lobster pet. He was also a great writer who produced a masterpiece in "Les Filles du feu" (The girls of fire). He had a sad ending, but it only makes his works more gripping. 
> 
> Talking about writers, maybe you guessed but some aspects of Kylo Ren's personality are inspired by British Comic Books writer Alan Moore. If you don't know him, he's the one who wrote Watchmen, V for Vendetta and The League of extraordinary gentlemen. He is a true eccentric who worships a pagan deity and looks like a wizard, but he is also a brilliant artist and intellectual. I admire him greatly and I encourage you to read his essay "Writing for comics" (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59704.Alan_Moore_s_Writing_for_Comics) if you aspire to write. 
> 
> Please, tell me what you think!


	5. Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after she spent the night at Kylo Ren's house, Rey is faced with an awful discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer than the previous ones. I hope it is not too long. 
> 
> Here is a link for Blondie's song "Sunday Girl" which is mentioned in this chapter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsFkvrkfLX8

Rey slowly emerged from her slumber. Before her thoughts were impregnated by the clarity of awakening, she imagined herself floating in the air, as if there were no gravity that could pull her down. It was a sensation of complete liberation, but something made her feel terribly melancholic until she fell again inside her own body.

When she opened her eyes, a single teardrop was rolling down her cheek. She wiped it with the sleeve of her borrowed nightdress, already forgetting the actual reason for her sadness.

Rey looked around and recognized the room that Kylo Ren had offered her to stay in last night. She rubbed her eye to chase the last residues of sleep and a smile slowly appeared on her lips. There was something about the unexpected way events had unfolded that she found amusing and somehow exhilarating.

She thought about her host, how he had proven eager for her to stay the night rather than let her face any danger. She liked the way that it made her feel, his spontaneous protectiveness, the ease with which he let her inside his guarded realm.

There was no clock in the room, but she guessed it was still early in the morning, judging by the light that penetrated through the window. She needed to brush her teeth and hair and eventually change back to her yesterday outfit. Unfortunately, she hadn’t thought to bring a spare set of clothes.

When she left the bedchamber, she was intending to go downstairs and recover her toilet kit, but her feet brought her to Kylo Ren’s room of their own accord. Maybe her curiosity brought her there, the hope to surprise him in the morning before he could put on his costume of the lone mysterious masked artist.

Instead, when she got closer to the door, she heard two voices arguing. One was obviously Kylo Ren’s and the second was also quite familiar...Hux! It must be him!

“There isn’t much time”, she heard the attorney say.

“You told me I had to be prudent, not to rush things”, answered his client.

“Don’t forget, Ren, that if we wait for too long, it will be too late.

\- I know.  
\- The ritual must be accomplished as soon as possible.  
\- I KNOW!”

Kylo Ren shouted so loudly, Rey felt the floor tremble under her bare feet. A long silence followed his burst and when he spoke again, his deformed voice sounded feeble and forlorn:

“It is so hard”.

There was so much despair and lassitude in the way he said these words, that it pulled at Rey’s heartstrings.

Hux’s voice seemed so much closer to the door when he replied:

“You have to remain strong, Ren”.

Rey knew then that the discussion was drawing to a close and that the lawyer was heading for the exist. She started running, the idea of being caught absolutely terrifying. There was something strange about the exchange she had surprised and she sensed she wasn’t supposed to overhear it.

She ran through the hallways, almost knocking over a table on her way back to the bedchamber. Soon enough, she heard Hux’s voice more clearly as he exchanged trivial details with Kylo Ren in the corridor.

“She is late again!” the attorney remarked and she realized he was talking about her.

“Hum!” Kylo Ren acknowledged.

Rey frowned, wondering why the homeowner would hide her presence. Maybe he didn’t want his lawyer to have the wrong idea if he knew that she had spent the night.

The silence that followed the short exchange indicated that Hux had left, still, Rey stood on her guards. A few minutes passed before she dared to look through the partly open door. She saw no one, at first, then appeared the dark silhouette of Kylo Ren climbing the stairs He carried something in his hands, but she had no time to distinguish it clearly before she rushed towards the bed and laid down over it, her back to the door.

The anticipation of his arrival made her feel equally expectant and nervous. She couldn’t tell what made her so jittery, but her heart was beating at a quick rhythm. She squeezed her eyes shut when she sensed him coming in and moving closer to her. She detected his movements at the way the air gently brushed her skin. The delightful smell of coffee and pastry made her nostrils flare and she bit her tongue to prevent herself from gulping.

The greatest temptation that she faced, however, was her desire to roll over and look at him. His proximity was so alluring. She imagined him in his somber attire, like a dark knight of times past, lurking over her and watching her sleeping form. Did he see her in her borrowed blue sleeping gown? Did he draw the outline of her body with his eyes while she pretended to be asleep?

When she finally turned around, he was already gone. Instead, she found a tray over the bed table that carried a fuming cup of coffee, a plate full of small golden scones, a sugar and creamer porcelain set and a tiny jam jar. She didn’t hesitate a second before bringing the cup to her mouth and taking a sip of the deliciously almond-flavored beverage. The scones were an absolute delicacy with their perfect blend of lemon and lavender taste and it was by pure gluttony that she spread jam over them before stuffing them in her mouth one after the other.

The coffee helped her put some order in her thoughts. Her full belly restored her drive and she forgot about the worrisome discussion she had overheard.

Kylo Ren had proven so gallant and generous. Usually, Rey was wary of such kind demonstrations. She was used to living in a world where everything had a price, but with him it was different. Somehow, she was convinced of his sincerity. She wanted to trust him.

It didn’t take her too long before she finished her breakfast. She breathed deeply and contentedly before leaving the bed for good and heading downstairs to get her things.

She was used now to walk barefoot and she progressed through the residence with an ease that can only be achieved through familiarity. The door of the room where she worked had been left open after she’d left it a hurry last night, she reckoned. She got inside to retrieve her backpack when suddenly her attention was caught by something on the floor.

Her eyes widened in shock as she realized that it was the rare Japanese music box she was examining before the power outage. It laid, broken, the lid separated from the rest of the body, small pieces of lacquer scattered around it, probably due to the impact when it fell down.

Panic washed over Rey. She felt her throat closing in, a wave of cold traversing her whole body. Her mind went blank as she stared at the precious artifact, now destroyed at her feet. She nearly screamed in horror as if she was facing the remains of a living creature. Instead, she heard herself sobbing than a flow of tears fell from her eyes. She had never made such a mistake before. Never.

She stooped to gather the shattered pieces of the music box in her trembling hands, little teardrops falling over its lacquered surface. She seldom cried, but even her resourceful mind couldn’t figure a way to compensate for her fault.

Rey got out of the room, still barefoot in her blue night robe, still disheveled and ungroomed and headed for the stairs. As if her body was moving on autopilot, she was being brought to Kylo Ren’s room so she could tell him about her mistake.

Her cries were apparently loud enough for him to hear, and before she reached the top of the stairs, he came to meet her. He tried to keep a certain distance at first, to remain in the dark as much as he could, but he seemed genuinely concerned.

“What’s wrong?” he asked and Rey couldn’t find her voice to answer him.

She showed him the broken music box and awaited his reaction desperately. She panted loudly while he considered the ruined object she held in her hands.

“I am sorry! I think I dropped it!” she sobbed, unable to control her emotions, getting further away from the professional image she so aspired to emanate.

A heavy teardrop fell off her eyelashes and traced a wet line over her cheek. Kylo Ren closed the distance between them and wiped the tear from her face with his thumb. Instinctively, Rey caught his wrist and held it in midair while her lashes fluttered in disbelief. Instead of pushing his hand as her instinct dictated her, she brought it against her face. He complied and brushed her soaked skin and she leaned into his soothing touch.

For the shortest lapse of time, she forgot herself. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the way Kylo Ren’s fingers gently stroked her face, then, suddenly, she opened her eyes in alarm. She backed away, nearly slipping down the stairs.

“I’m sorry!” she repeated, not sure if she was apologizing for her behavior or the broken music box.

Kylo Ren’s cool reaction baffled her. He rose an open hand, inviting her implicitly to give him the destroyed object. She held her eyes down while she placed it in his open palm.

“Please, don’t cry. I am certain it was an accident. Besides, I can find another one of these in the market”, he said to her before properly examining the debris.

“I will pay for it!” Rey reacted, even if she knew quite well that she could never afford such an item. “Please, it is the least I can do. It has never happened to me before”.

Kylo Ren remained silent, his eyes hidden yet Rey felt they were scrutinizing her.

“Alright. I have a few auction houses catalogs in my library. We could consult them if you’d like”.

Rey nodded, though unenthusiastically. She didn’t think things through properly, for certain, and now she felt stuck. Part of her was however excited to discover that her host owned a library and, when he showed her the way, she got going without protesting.

She walked before him, risking a few shy glances over her shoulder to see him following her closely. She became aware of her outfit and her rather scruffy demeanor. Embarrassment made her cower. She held her elbows and kept her eyes down.

When they reached the right door, Kylo Ren encouraged Rey:

“Go on!”

She turned the door handle and there was no resistance. The door opened easily, revealing to Rey’s eyes a new wondrous part of the house.

She should have known that a writer and an eager collector would have a library teeming with books.   

The walls of the room were covered to the ceiling with volumes of all sizes and colors. The shelves were directly integrated into the distinctively curved walls A single window lightened the place and little space was wasted on furniture. Only a secretary desk with its rolling chair and two comfortable armchairs around a small coffee table could be found in the library where deep and intense tone colors dominated.

Rey took in the view in awe while Kylo Ren carefully placed the remains of the broken music box over the table. Just like she had been by the collection downstairs, she was amazed by the variety and richness that the library beheld.

An agreeable smell of old paper floated around and the room felt cozy and warm. There reigned a very dark romantic atmosphere and Rey easily pictured the likes of Lord Byron or Edgar Poe scribbling at the desk.

As Kylo Ren searched for what he needed in the catalogs, Rey came up to the secretary desk. There was a book laying on top, a luxurious volume of reproductions of Aubrey Beardsley’s drawings. She leafed through it, taking in the strange eroticism of the artist’s illustrations. They were by all means very mild in comparison to some modern imagery, still, she flushed furiously when she noticed her client standing behind her and peeking over her shoulder.

She shut the book, quickly, as if caught peeping, and turned around to face him. However, she found herself in a very narrow position and she had to put her hands over the desk behind her to put a reasonable distance between their bodies.

“Do you like Beardsley?” he inquired in a mundane tone.   

“Yes! I love him! He is great!” she replied, a bit snappily. She spoke rapidly and cringed at the realization that she might come out as gauche. “Do you?” she added.

“Obviously. I like the absurdity of his humor”.

He talked in such a serious tone that in itself his statement sounded comical. Did he even know what humor meant?

Kylo Ren circled Rey and went to put a catalog over the desk. He opened the volume at a precise page with pictures of models of music boxes.

“There”, he pointed, tapping the page with his index.

Rey leaned forward and she had to squint to read the fine print under the photograph of a music box that looked very much like the one she had broken. She paled when she discovered the start bidding price for the item. It costed half her yearly salary. She had known, of course, that it was precious, but she wasn’t an expert on this kind of objects and she had destroyed Kylo Ren’s before she even got to properly evaluate it.

In her surprise, she stammered:

“I...I...don’t think I can…

\- You can’t afford it”, he stated matter-of-factly.

“No. But if you could be patient…

\- You will have to work for me for free more than a year if you insist on repaying me”.

Rey scrunched her face when she realized that he had never taken her seriously:

“Mister Ren, I will replace the music box that I have damaged, no matter the cost!

\- Maybe there’s another way. You could try and restore it. You have an experience in restoring artworks, Miss Rey. Am I right?”

Rey was stopped mid-leap in her anger. She seemed stunned for a moment before she regained her speaking faculties.

“I do”, she admitted. “Did Unkar Plutt tell you that? I don’t think he mentioned that I was just an amateur.

\- He mentioned that you had accomplished some decent work.  
\- But I am far from being an expert. It might be better if you entrusted this job to someone more experienced.  
\- I want you to try, please. Would you do that for me?”

Rey stared at him then decided it was his place to decide what he would do with what he owned after all. She nodded, settling for this alternative rather than the obligation to repay a colossal sum.

“Take your time before you start your work today”, he instructed. “You will need to get freshened up, I presume. You can get a change of clothes for the day in your room if you’d like”.

He headed for the door when Rey corrected him shyly:

“It is not my room, Mister Ren”.

He stopped for the shortest amount of time, his hand over the door leaf as if realizing he misspoke.

“Good day, Miss Rey”, he said before disappearing out of the library.

Rey didn’t have time to look around. She needed to take a shower and change before going downstairs and gathering the small fragments of lacquer she hadn’t picked up before.

She went back to the bedchamber and opened the wardrobe in hope to find something that would suit her. There were mostly dresses, elegant though unpractical. The only one she considered adequately mundane was a short cherry red dress with a Peter Pan collar. She took it and went straight back downstairs. She got her toothbrush and hairbrush and went to lock herself inside the bathroom where she took a quick shower and groomed herself in a record time.

When she first looked at her reflection in the mirror, she snorted in amusement. With the red dress and high ponytail, she looked like a proper 70s baby doll. She didn’t recall trying this style before, but it suited her quite fetchingly thanks to her petite form and her girly features.

It was already time for lunch when she came out of the bathroom and as she arrived at the kitchen, she was happy to discover that Finn was already there.

“Well, look at you!” he exclaimed, checking her out.

“You like it?” she inquired, twirling around to give him a proper view of her outfit.

“Yes! Are you going to a party after work, dressed up pretty like that?

\- No. Nothing like that. I had to borrow this dress because I didn’t have a spare set of clothes”.

She regretted her words as soon as they crossed her lips. Finn’s reaction was very telling, and she felt compelled to clarify things:

“I haven’t slept with him!

\- Yeah...I mean, I wouldn’t judge you if you did, although I would be a bit worried.  
\- Nothing happened, I swear!”

She looked nervous and Finn didn’t bear to see her in such a state:

“Rey, I believe you! Come, sit down. I have brought you some pretty delicious things today”.

Rey feared she had overreacted, but the food that her new friend set before her soon made any lingering worry evaporate with its smell.

“Chicken and prosciutto parmigiana accompanied by a side dish of grilled eggplants and a crème brulée for dessert”, he introduced in an exaggerated theatrical manner.

Rey laughed at his antics then addressed a warm smile to her.

“Thank you, Finn!”

She was grateful to him, for the food, but especially because of how easy-going and thoughtful he always was.

“Mmm! Are you sure you don’t want a bite?” she suggested after she tasted the chicken.

“No. Thank you. I taste everything that goes out of the kitchens before it gets packed and delivered, you know?

\- I want your job!  
\- You’ll have to fight me for it!”

They chatted casually, while Rey enjoyed her food. Finn told her she looked like Twiggy in her baby doll dress and it reminded her of a Blondie song she had on her tape.

Her cassette player was still in the kitchen, and after a few fumblings with the fast forward and rewind buttons, Debbie Harry’s voice rose singing “Sunday Girl”.

“So, what happened?” Finn asked Rey while she shook her head to the rhythm of the tune.

“I broke a precious item.

\- What? That’s why you had to stay the night?  
\- No! No, there was a power outage. I mean, I stayed too late and I couldn’t go home on my bike in the dark. Kylo Ren invited me to stay.  
\- Oh, Rey! I will give you my number and next time, you will call me, ok?  
\- I don’t want to bother…  
\- It’s no bother at all! I have a motorbike and I can drive you home.  
\- Thank you.  
\- What is it about you breaking a precious item?  
\- Oh. Don’t worry about it”.

For some reason, she didn’t want to share what happened this morning. She suspected that Finn was quite wary of Kylo Ren and she feared it might further worry him.

Before he left, he wrote his cell number on an old receipt for her and she slipped it inside her pocket.

They weren’t going to see each other during the weekend and they exchanged small pecks on the cheek as goodbyes.

Rey couldn’t avoid her task any longer. When she came back to the room where her work awaited her, she put on a pair of plastic gloves then got on all four using twizzlers to pick up all the fragments of lacquered wood. She cautiously picked them one by one and collected them inside a plastic photo-film canister.

Rey kept tugging at the hem of her dress to cover her behind while she bent forward, even though there was no one with her in the room. Her arched position was causing her pain and she had to stretch her spine from time to time. Still, she refused to give up before she became certain there were no pieces left on the floor. That was going to be one hell of a puzzle to put together!

As a precaution, she peeked under the cabinets and instead found something unexpected. There was a cylinder under one of them and she had to stretch her hand to its full extent to reach it with the tips of her fingers. She brought it out and examined it curiously, one eyebrow lifted up. Tapping it cautiously, she successfully removed some of the dust that covered it and she brought it to her eye pointing it up towards the light. The kaleidoscopic image that unvailed made her giggle quietly. She turned it over and over, the multicolored vision morphing with the movement.

It was a well-crafted kaleidoscope. The patterns it contained were beautiful and complex and the prismatic effect transformed the light into a symphony of colors. It reminded her, somehow, of the small moving forms she saw whenever she rubbed her eyes too eagerly.

She put down the cylinder over her desk, wondering if this new find would be considered a  small compensation for her previous mistake.

The afternoon went by quickly as Rey worked on the collection. Her mind kept going back to the music box and the way she could restore it. She kept thinking about the glue she had to use, the way she could conceal the cracks in the painting and the lacquer.

Even if she didn’t progress in her task as she had hoped, Rey was determined to leave on time today. She gathered her things in her bag, wrote a short note for Kylo Ren then went upstairs.

The tranquility of the house was only disrupted by the sound of a typewriter emerging faintly from the homeowner’s room. Like she had previously done, she slipped the note under the door and waited, but the typewriting went on and she eventually decided to leave.

She headed for the bedchamber, to put some order in it, then for the library where she intended to retrieve the remaining pieces of the shuttered music box.

As she got inside, the library appeared to her under a more mysterious light. She looked around quickly, taking in the titles of the volumes displayed on the shelves. Luckily enough, she came upon the ones she hoped she might find: Kylo Ren’s books. There were only five of them. Their jackets, that might have had a portrait of the writer or a short description of the books, had been discarded. She leafed through one then another, but only the third had something other than words. It contained some illustrations that suggested that the story had some Nordic mythical influences.

“Would you like to borrow it?”

Rey uttered a little scream when she heard Kylo Ren’s voice. Maybe she could ask him to put a bell around his neck so he would stop sneaking up on her like this.

She looked down at the book in her hand. It wasn’t her attention to read it, actually. She was just curious, but she nodded all the same.

“I had your note.

\- Yes. I wanted to apologize, again, and thank you for being so understanding… Will you tell my boss about what happened?  
\- No. It won’t be necessary. I am satisfied with our agreement”.

He walked towards the two armchairs.

“Do you have a few minutes to spare, Miss Rey?”

She observed him, stunned, as he presented her his hand. She came closer and took his hand before he led her to one of the chairs. She settled on one and he sat on the other, on the opposite side of the small table.

“Will you be coming tomorrow?” he eventually asked.

“Tomorrow is Saturday”, she reminded him.

“I know. I thought you might want to get ahead in your work.

\- I do, but…

- You don’t have to, of course. But you have the key. You can come whenever you feel like it”.

She was astonished by this latest development. She thought him solitary, reclusive.

“There must be a lot more fuss since I arrived.

\- I don’t mind”.

He seemed to hesitate, pondering carefully his following words:

“I enjoy having you around. You bring life to this house”.

Rey blushed at the unexpected compliment and she pursed her lips so they wouldn’t curve into a satisfied grin.

“I like it here too, Mister Ren”, she confessed, her timid voice barely discernable.

Rey bit her lower lip and tapped her foot nervously.

“Do you have something you want to ask me?”

Her eyebrows went up in surprise. She did have a question for him, actually.

“I do… The room I slept in, whose is it?”

He considered her in silence for a long time before answering:

“A woman. She is gone now”.

Rey didn’t expect the jealousy that flared inside her suddenly like an explosion. She felt like being stabbed in the heart, knowing that Kylo Ren had had another woman in his life. It was unreasonable, impetuous, yet she couldn’t help the anger that invaded her.

“I have to go!” she snapped.

She needed to leave if she wanted to avoid saying things she would regret later. She excused herself, grabbed the book, and left the chair in a hurry. Only the voice of Kylo Ren stopped her in her tracks:

“The room will remain at your disposal whenever you will need it, Miss Rey. I want you to feel welcome.

\- Thank you”, she said. “Goodbye, Mister Ren.

\- Goodbye, Rey”.

As she left the house, Rey felt confused. She recalled the events of the last two days while she placed her backpack in her bicycle basket. Before reaching the forest, she looked back at the window where she first saw Kylo Ren, and this time again, he was standing there, watching her. Gone was the fear she felt when she first laid eyes on him. Now, a delicious sensation of longing bloomed inside her belly when she looked at him.

She smiled at him and she saw him putting his hand palm against the window. She knew then that he was yearning for her return.

She would be back tomorrow, she decided. She wanted nothing more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have slightly exaggerated the value of the music box just for dramatic effect. Music boxes are far from being this expensive in the market. Oh, I forgot to tell you that I have studied in museum studies and I maybe sometimes get a bit carried away in details and descriptions? I sure hope it doesn't get tedious. 
> 
> Aubrey Beardsley was an Art Nouveau artist well now for illustrating Oscar Wilde's plays among others literary works like "La Morte d'Arthur" and "Arabian Nights". He was considered decadent, even perverted by his contemporaries, however his drawings are very mild by today's standards. Here are some examples of his illustrations if you are interested: http://bawdylanguage.com/art-gallery.php 
> 
> Oooh! I can't wait to read your comments! Your opinions are as precious for me as an antique japanese music box.


	6. Day 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey dares to ask Kylo Ren some of the questions that had been tormenting her.  
> His reaction turns out to be unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are getting longer and longer. I hope it doesn't feel too much.

Rey breathed in the subtle smell of the decaying leaves. She loved the aromas that the forest exhaled after the rain.

Last night, she was nearly home when the storm exploded. She was dripping wet when she reached her tiny one bedroom apartment and she was feeling rather miserable for having been caught in the rain, but even more because of what Kylo Ren had revealed to her.

The woman he mentioned, she kept popping up in her head all through the way back. She imagined her like an elegant tall blonde who worked in editing or communication, a confident woman who knew how to talk to people during parties and cocktails and drank only sophisticated drinks which names she pronounced with a perfect foreign accent... She was everything that Rey wasn’t.

Was that the kind of women that Kylo Ren liked? she wondered. 

Maybe he needed someone confident and ambitious, himself being eccentric and prone to isolation. 

What could have happened that caused the woman to be gone now? Did she leave him? Was she the reason he was so withdrawn? Did he still love her?

Rey tried to chase all these ideas away, to no avail. They kept tormenting her and she had to focus on something else to get through the night.

Fortunately enough, she had Kylo Ren’s novel with her. She usually read essays and biographies of famous artists and artisans, but she was glad the first pages of the book proved rather gripping.

The story was about a Scandinavian minor divinity who rebelled against the gods’ fate and tried to save the tree of life that was condemned to perish and the world with it. A human started helping her and they both embarked on a journey through the Giants’ realm.

The book was well written and full of poetry and, unexpectedly, humor. She could read between the lines some revelations about Kylo Ren’s personality and she carefully gathered them as the pieces of the puzzle that he was.

She read half the book and only when she couldn’t keep her eyes open that she decided to leave the rest for later. Before she was completely asleep, she recalled the sensation of her client’s hand on her cheek and she jolted slightly at the memory of her own boldness.

Rey looked up at the sky through the branches of the trees as she pedaled carefully but swiftly through the woods. It had a gorgeous shade of blue and she was heartened by the surrounding beauty of nature.

Usually, on Saturday at this time, she would be chilling around in her pajamas, drinking hot chocolate and watching cartoons, but she had promised Kylo Ren, and herself, to be back. 

When she reached the house, she took her key out of her pocket. She had attached a small knitted character to it as a key ring. She opened the door and got inside.

“Good morning”, she greeted loudly while she removed her jacket, so Kylo Ren could hear her. 

She didn’t expect a reply. She was getting used to their unusual mode of communication and even considered their exchange of written notes quite poetic.

Rey thought of the lovers of days past who couldn’t interact directly because of social conventions and had to communicate through written messages, “sweet words” as the French would call them. It is sweet indeed, how they took the time to write what they felt for each other, risking to be discovered if their messages got intercepted, and yet awaiting with anticipation even a single written line as a reply. 

Rey and Kylo Ren weren’t lovers. Their own exchange of notes was friendly at best, but as she climbed the stairs, a content smile graced her lips. She carried a small tin box in her hand that she held closely against her heart.

When she reached the door that led to his room, she knocked softly, fearing she might disturb him at an early hour:

“Mister Ren, I have brought you something. I will leave it outside your door and you can retrieve it whenever you want”.

Rey sensed that Kylo Ren’s room was forbidden territory. The only time he opened the door for her was when she lost conscience and she suspected that he wouldn’t let her go through the same experience again.

She stooped and put the little box on the floor, just next to the door frame so he wouldn't stumble on it when he came out.

As she returned downstairs and went to the room where her inventory work awaited her, she pictured the way Kylo Ren would react when he found her little gift awaiting him outside his room. He would kneel down to scoop the box and it would look tiny in his giant hands. He would open it and retrieve the small note she had slipped inside and read:

“Dear Mister Ren,

Here is a little thing to thank you for your hospitality and generosity. 

Rey.

P.S. They taste even better with tea!”

He would stare at the shortbread cookies she adored and finally remove his mask to take a bite.

That’s how far her imagination went. She was unable to conceive in her mind a face for him that felt right. All the images that came to her were too beautiful or too deformed and thus felt silly and grotesque.

Her curiosity was tormenting her and she started obsessing over the true reason he was concealing his face behind that retched mask. She was distracted all morning long and all her self-reasoning proved useless. When she stopped thinking about the mask, her worries regarding the other woman came back with a vengeance.

Of course, she could always ask him directly, but she was afraid it might affect the fragile trust they were building between them. No, if she wanted to get answers to her questions, she would have to search for clues, on her own, like the details that kept popping between the lines of his novel.

Rey already sensed that Kylo Ren’s collection said a lot about him. If she knew how to read it and discover the logic behind it, she might know more about him than she did by searching on the internet.

There was, however, a real problem facing her: The collection didn't seem to make any kind of sense! When collectors usually focused on particular themes and types of artifacts, this one contained all sorts of objects. They were of different values and Rey had already established that they were more like an ensemble of souvenirs than a true collection.

She took a break from her study of the ensemble of netsuke, Japanese miniature figurines, and went to stand before the cabinets displaying the objects that formed her client’s collection.

She had grown almost familiar with it, seeing it every day, and it could be that familiarity that prevented her from noticing the obvious.

The artifacts were mostly of foreign origin, but that wasn’t uncommon. Either Kylo Ren had an exotic taste or he traveled a lot. The second option seemed very unlikely. He kept in the same room trivial objects like marbles next to precious decorative items and rare books. Besides, none of them seemed to be related to the cult he was supposed to be part of. 

Could it be the reason why he was parting with his collection? Did the guru of the “First Order” make him get rid of his possession? 

She could speculate all she wanted but none of the items displayed before her could provide her with a definitive answer.

Actually, Rey noticed that, oddly enough, there wasn’t anything relating to the cult in the house, or at least in the parts that she had already visited. From what she discovered online, the First Order had a very distinctive visual identity, revolving around the same red, grey and black colors. Yet, she didn’t notice anything alluding to it in Kylo Ren’s residence, except maybe his own outfit.

A soft knock on the door made Rey’s heart jump, less of surprise than anticipation. She knew that it was him. 

She rushed to the door and opened it wide. He was standing behind it and she considered his towering form and the way he filled the doorframe with his sheer size.

“Good morning!” he greeted.

“Good morning, Mister Ren!” she replied with an earnest smile that revealed her dimples.

 “I made tea”, he surprised her.

Not awaiting her response, he turned on his hill and walked towards the kitchen, she reckoned. Rey gave a look at the small figurines on the table to be sure they were safe, then followed him. She had to run a bit to joint him, his strides far more rapid than hers.

They didn’t go to the kitchen as she supposed. She realized that he had already brought a pot of tea and the shortbread cookies on a plate to the living room when they arrived.

As usual, he offered her his hand so he could guide her to one of the seats they had sat on during the power outage. She liked remembering that moment when their hands had touched and he had led her delicately to her place.

As soon as they were installed, he poured her a cup of tea, his movements confident and unexpectedly elegant. 

“Is it Russian tea?” she asked, recognizing the smell of the drink.

“Yes. Do you like it?

\- It’s my favorite!”

That couldn’t be a coincidence, could it? She wondered. It didn’t stop her from reaching for the hot cup and bringing it to her lips.

Before she took a sip, she asked him craftily: 

“Won’t you have a cup yourself?

\- No”.

She could detect amusement even in his mechanized voice. It seemed he had picked on her attempt to get him to remove his mask.

Rey drank a bit of tea. It was so hot, it slightly burned her tongue, but the taste was delicious she took another sip right away.

Kylo Ren put his elbows on the armrests and intertwined his fingers while carefully observing Rey. She felt a bit uncomfortable at the way he was scrutinizing her and she put down her teacup.

“Would you like a cookie?” suggested her client.

“Umm… they are actually for you.

\- I know, but I’d like to share them with you. I know you like them”.

At these words, she snapped:

“How? How do you know that I like them?

\- I told you, Miss Rey. I am interested in all my employees.  
\- Even in their food tastes?  
\- No. It is different for you.  
\- Why?  
\- Because I appreciate you. I appreciate your work”.

Rey fell silent, pensive.

“Are you mad?” Kylo Ren inquired, as calm as ever.

“No”. 

She wasn’t, really. She only wanted to know. The courage to ask him came to her unexpectedly.

“There are so many odd things about this place, about you. Please, Mister Ren, there are so many things I want to understand”.

He didn’t answer her right away and she feared she might have offended him, but he surprised her with his answer:

“What do you want to know?”

Rey fluttered her eyelashes in disbelief. She looked out of the window as if she needed to consider if she had heard right.

“Alright!” she decided, lifting her chin high. “Are you really part of a cult?

\- Yes”, he answered calmly and without hesitation.

“The First Order.

\- Yes.  
\- Why do you wear a mask?  
\- I need to keep my face hidden from you.  
\- Does it have to do with the cult you’re part of?  
\- You can say that, yes.  
\- I heard you talking about a ritual yesterday with Mister Hux…  
\- You heard us?!”

His attitude changed completely. He straightened up in his seat and she could hear a horrid panting noise coming out of his voice modulator.

“I am sorry! I didn’t mean to eavesdrop!” Rey panicked.

“You shouldn’t have listened to us, Mister Rey. Better still, don’t even think about it, ever again!”

Did he know how absurd his demand was? The best way to make Rey obsess about something was to surround it with mystery. Still, she nodded when his insisting stare became impossible to bear. He softened then:

“I am sorry. I didn't mean...I don’t want to scare you, Miss Rey, but this is dangerous territory. 

\- I understand”, she agreed when she was already burning to know more.

They fell into an awkward silence and Rey had to take a cookie to fill the air with the sound of her scrunching. 

“I appreciate you coming today”, Kylo Ren said eventually and it somehow sounded very satisfying to her ears.

She smiled at him, her face lovely and illuminated and it was like he couldn’t repress the sigh that escaped him. A strange tension was building between them and they considered each other, Rey’s mouth falling agape as if she was about to say something she didn’t know.

They were interrupted when she heard knocking coming from the house door. It was the first time she heard such a noise since she started coming to Kylo Ren’s home. 

“That must be your lunch”, he noticed as he left his chair.

“Won’t you accompany me?” she tried again and he answered her just as placidly:

“No, Miss Rey”.

She watched him leave the room and head for the stairs while she went to answer the door. There was a short young woman behind it. She looked positively exhausted, carrying a heavy delivery bag.

“Hi! Is this the Kylo Ren residence?

\- Yes. Come in”, Rey invited her.

She wondered if she better help the young woman carry all the food, but she feared she might offend her by making her feel unable to do her job. Still, Rey felt a bit bad to see her put so much effort until they reached the kitchen. 

“Gosh! That seems heavy”, laughed Rey to at least show to the delivery girl she appreciated her efforts.

“Oh, sorry! You have ordered frozen food, right?

\- Frozen food?  
\- Yes. Oh, no! Did I make a mistake?  
\- No. I don’t think you did. I wasn’t the one who made the order.  
\- Oh!”

The young woman didn’t waste more time and went straight for the fridge to start stocking the freezers with boxes.

“I am Rey. What is your name?

\- I am Rose”, said the woman while she continued placing the food in the fridge.

“Are you a friend of Finn?” inquired Rey, actually missing the company of her new friend.

“Finn? No, we are not...I mean, I would love to...but, I am still new at the delivery company and he is kind of a legend.

\- A legend?

\- Yes, he always gets the furthest and strangest deliveries...no offense.  
\- None taken!” laughed Rey. “So you work on weekends, Rose?  
\- Yes. The kitchen is closed today, but we still make deliveries”.

Rey nodded and watched Rose until she finished unloading the food. Her bag was empty when she wished her a good day and left the kitchen.

Rey went to retrieve one of the boxes that the delivery girl had brought. She looked inside the freeze:

“Why so many boxes of frozen food, I wonder?” she said out loud in a sing-song voice.

She picked one, a spicy red prawn curry with basmati rice, and went to put it in the microwave. The short time she waited for the food to get ready was enough for her to conceive dozens of suppositions for what the ritual could be. She thought about movies like “The Wicker Man” or “The Devils” with its satanic orgies and she blushed furiously. The ring of the oven startled her and she quickly got her meal out and went to eat it by the kitchen counter as if she was a child that got caught making something naughty. 

She ate alone and wished she had some company. The imperturbable silence was making her feel a bit lonely, despite the delicious lemon sorbet she was having for dessert. She sighed and closed her eyes. As if in a dream, a scene appeared to her where she was lying on an altar dressed in a diaphanous wavy gown. Kylo Ren stood beside her. They looked like two characters out of “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari” with their extravagant outfits and theatrical movements. He was touching her, caressing her stomach and tracing with his palms the lines of her hips and in reaction, she twitched and whimpered with pleasure.

Rey opened her eyes in alarm. How could she be having such thoughts? What was wrong with her? She’d better get back to her work and focus of that instead.

Rey got back to the “cabinet of wonders”, and only when she closed the door behind her could she breathe again. It felt like a refuge, even from her own treacherous thoughts.

“Rey! Kylo Ren is your client. This is a job like any other. Soon, you will be done with it and you will never have to come back here again”, she chided herself. 

Instead of reassuring, the idea that her work would get to an end made her heart constrict. It would mean she would never get to discover the mystery surrounding Kylo Ren. She would never get to see him again. 

Her hands trembled as she held the little sculpted toggle in her hand, a netsuke of a snake coiled around a skull. She placed it carefully over the desk, fearing she might cause another accident, and leafed through her notebook realizing she had made a lot of progress in just a week. 

Usually, a job well-done and this quickly filled her with pride, but in this particular instance, it made her feel rather melancholic.  

Rey let her forehead fall with a thud against the desk. What a conundrum! Was she to slow down her work rhythm? Her client told her he had employed her because of the quality of her work, but he rather meant her sensitivity than her speed. 

This line of thought made her feel silly. She aspired to be taken seriously, to become a respected professional in her field, and it wasn’t by getting this attached to her clients that she was going to accomplish anything. 

Still, there was something special about Kylo Ren and she couldn't help having such a vivid curiosity. 

She raised her head and looked up to the roof. Kylo Ren had been ready to answer her questions this morning, but she made the mistake to upset him and didn’t get to ask him about the woman he had mentioned yesterday. 

Suddenly, Rey got up and strode towards the door. When she reached the corridor, she progressed more carefully. Her steps made no sound, but she still walked on her tiptoes. She climbed the stairs when she became certain that Kylo Ren wasn’t outside his room, the faint sound of his typewriter signaling he was busy writing, and she rushed to get to the room where she had slept before.

Closing the door behind her, Rey felt a bit guilty sneaking around, but her need to know was stronger than anything right now. Besides, the homeowner never specifically forbid her from going back to the bedroom.

Rey searched around, taking extreme care not to displace anything. She quietly opened the drawers of the vanity and the nightstand and the doors of the wardrobe. They mostly contained clothes, accessories, makeup and other trivial items that revealed nothing new. She eventually found something more interesting: a small Moleskine notebook tucked between the layers of clothes that Rey had discovered by pure luck. 

The burgundy cover of the notebook was quite worn out, but it wasn’t that old judging by the color of the pages. She leafed through it and realized it was a diary, every entry being dated. Feeling she was intruding, Rey closed it and pondered her options carefully before opening it again. 

There was something odd about this diary. Whole lines, whole pages were left blank. Actually, there were only a few entries that made any sense. 

The first one Rey read went like this:

“Today I have met a man. He is strange or rather quirky. He asked me for a drink. No one has ever asked for a drink before…”

Rey knitted her eyebrows. She wasn’t certain whose notebook this was, but all clues led her to believe it was the mysterious woman’s diary. 

She turned a few pages and continued reading:

“We kissed! We KISSED! I still can’t believe it happened. It was weird and unexpected, but it felt wonderful. Words elude me to express how wonderful it was”.

Oh. There it was again: Jealousy. 

Rey pouted in discontent and felt her blood heating in her veins. She tried to convince herself that there wasn’t any real proof that it was Kylo Ren that the diary’s owner was talking about. Still, she struggled to control her temper. 

A movement in the hallway made her jump. More by reflex than real discernment, she threw the notebook and pushed it with her hill under the bed.

“Miss Rey?” she heard Kylo Ren calling, sounding a bit surprised. 

“Yes, come in”. 

She couldn’t pretend she wasn’t there. Maybe, she had caused more noise than she intended to. 

When he entered the room, Rey was standing stiffly, looking more suspicious than she wanted to. 

“I was feeling a bit cold. I thought I might borrow a jacket, maybe?” she said before he even got to ask anything. 

Kylo Ren tilted his head, visibly contemplating the truthfulness of her words. 

“Is it...alright I came here?” she asked shyly, dreading his reaction. 

“Of course”, he replied and she breathed. 

He passed by her and went straight for the wardrobe to retrieve a deep blue wool cardigan. He stood then behind Rey and held it for her so she could slip her arms easily inside. His delicate manners were so uncommon that they always surprised her, yet she gladly complied. 

The texture of the cardigan was pleasantly soft and the little yellow dots spread between the deep blue stitches reminded her of a starry night. 

Rey felt Kylo Ren’s hands lingering over her shoulders for longer than they needed to. His touch grew insisting and it felt like he was holding her. She looked straight ahead, shocked to realize that he might be also attracted to her. Her breathing accelerated and she turned around to face him, her eyes bearing the question her lips couldn’t say. 

She reached for his mask, her fingers landing on its surface and she followed its strange lines. It felt oddly intimate, like a caress, and the way he gave into it inflicted the most contradictory feels inside her heart. She was confused and enthralled at once by his behavior. 

He obediently let her take his head between her hands and allowed her to explore the form of his mask, more insistently now, like she wanted to understand the mystery behind this contraption. Suddenly, she sensed she had gone too far when she tried to reach for the back of his mask and she was nearly hugging him. 

She withdrew, blushing and lowering her gaze. 

“I wish I could see you without your mask”, she heard herself say and she couldn’t believe her own audacity. 

“Soon, you will”, he almost whispered and it made her snap her head up. 

“When?

\- When you'll be ready.    
\- What do you mean?  
\- Please, you have to be patient.  
\- No! Tell me. You have to. Please!”

She was quivering and feeling quite dizzy. Soon, she had to go lean on the vanity to prevent herself from falling. Kylo Ren rushed next to her and held her by the waist to help her stand up. 

“I am sorry”, he said and it made her think that he had something to do with it. 

“You drugged me!” she shouted. 

It was absurd and he didn’t even bother to answer. If she thought that the tea that he had prepared for her had any effect, it must have manifested hours ago. Still, she tried to push him away, but she was too weak against his strong hold. 

Rey felt herself become incredibly heavy and her legs giving up under her weight, but before she could fall, Kylo Ren’s strong arms picked her up and he carried her towards the bed. She tried to look at him under her heavy eyelids and she couldn’t avoid thinking of a monster carrying his kidnapped prey like in “Hammer” movie. Or maybe was it more like a dark prince carrying his bride. 

Her thoughts were incoherent, and she missed the heat of his body when he laid her on the bed. 

“Rey, don’t force yourself to understand. You will know everything eventually, I promise you”. 

She didn’t notice the informal way he called her nor understood his meaning. She turned and moaned in the bed, catching glimpses of the outside through the window. It was like the weather changed every time she flapped her eyelashes. 

“What is happening?”, Rey whined and Kylo Ren touched her forehead and held her hand like he was trying to soothe her. 

“Rest, rest”, he chanted and even deformed by the voice modulator, his voice sounded tender and caring. 

As if hypnotized, Rey’s head tilted towards her shoulder and she was lost to the waking world. 

She woke up in the dark with a sense of déjà vu. It was the same situation she had been into a few days ago. However, this time, it seemed more alarming. One occurrence wasn’t enough to get carried away, but it was the second time she had lost conscience in less than a week. Maybe she had to see a doctor, or maybe it had to do with this place. 

Rey pushed away the cover that had been placed over her and rushed towards the door. She went straight for Kylo Ren’s room to demand some explanation. Her ardor was tempered when she thought a bit more about it. Was she accusing him of…She didn’t even know of what. His words were bizarre and cryptic, but that didn’t prove that he was responsible for her fainting. 

Still, she knocked on his door, needing some kind of reassurance, but there was no answer. The second floor was dimly lit and she noticed that light came more brightly from downstairs. She went down to the first floor and headed for the kitchen, driven by a strange intuition. 

There, she found Kylo Ren, preparing some spinach and cream soup and brewing a herbal tea judging by the smell. He had no coat and no gloves on and when he noticed Rey, he froze on the spot. 

“You are feeling better”, he noted. 

“Yes. I am sorry this keeps happening. 

\- No. You shouldn’t worry about me. I just hope you are well.  
\- I think so. Thank you”.

Rey came to sit at the counter and her eyes were fixated on his hands. They were as big as she imagined but his fingers turned out to be long and graceful. They bore no scars or any kind of deformity that might explain why he would wear gloves.  

Kylo Ren put a cup of herbal tea in front of Rey without any kind of explanation. It smelled of raspberry and she held it in her hands to get some of its heat. 

“You are welcome to stay the night, if you want’”, he suggested while pouring the soup into a porcelain bowl. 

“I think I might call a friend to get me home this time”. 

He turned to face her and she could clearly distinguish his disappointment. 

“As you like”, he replied in poorly simulated detachment. 

“Would you eat with me, if I stayed?” 

Rey had a sly look. She sensed that she finally found a way to persuade him to remove his mask, but his reaction baffled her. He laughed! She had never heard him laugh before and it sounded a bit scary, the noise being amplified by his voice modulator. 

“You are being cheeky, Miss Rey. 

\- So you don’t want to eat with me?  
\- I know what you really want. You want me to show you my face. Have you thought, though, that maybe it wasn’t as interesting as you imagine? That maybe you could be disappointed?  
\- What if we eat together in the dark? I wouldn’t get to see your face and we can enjoy each other’s company”.

The idea came to her so quickly she didn’t take the time to really consider it. However, he seemed rather intrigued. 

“Alright”, he answered and she was quite amazed that he agreed.

Kylo Ren placed the bowl of soup before Rey with a small plate of garlic crostini then went to retrieve another bowl from a cupboard to serve himself a portion. He got two ramekins from the fridge that contained custard cream sprinkled with dark chocolate powder. 

When all the food was laid down on the counter, he made his way to the light switch and turned it off. 

Rey held her breath as she felt him passing by and sitting on the opposite side of the counter. She listened carefully when he removed his mask and jumped slightly when she head the unexpected noise of pneumatic switches. The sound he made when putting his mask over the counter was even louder and it made her gasp. 

He seemed absolutely at ease moving in the darkness when she had to pad nervously to find her spoon and start to eat her soup. She felt agitated as if he was naked before her and she couldn’t look.  

“Is everything alright?” he asked in his natural voice, though he kept it low obviously on purpose. 

“Yes. I am fine!” 

Rey took another spoonful of her dinner like she had to prove it to him. She was actually shaky and felt her heart pounding at an erratic rhythm at the sound of his real voice. Even though he kept whispering, she could notice how deep and calm it was. It felt like velvet caressing her temptingly. 

She preferred to concentrate on her food rather than let herself dive into such embarrassing thoughts. As soon as she finished her soup, she attacked the dessert, but her mind was stubbornly bombarded with ideas. 

As she put her hand over the counter, she suddenly felt his fingers next to hers. Slowly, she got them closer and touched his skin, tentatively. He didn’t withdraw, at first, allowing her to softly caress him until he startled and left his chair. Rey sat up and in the dark, she pumped against his chest. 

They remained there, absolutely still, for a long moment, until Rey felt his mouth crushing against hers. 

It felt bizarre, at first, her mind struggling to understand what was happening. However, as if her body acted of its own volition, she leaned into the kiss. 

It remained innocent and shy, but Rey felt herself burning as her lips slid against Kylo Ren’s. It was like biting into a forbidden fruit, a taboo, and it felt incredibly exhilarating. 

His mouth was so soft and he kissed her, slowly, carefully. She became greedy and wanted to deepen their kiss and that was when he pulled back. 

“No”, she breathed, her voice deep with desire. 

She heard him put his mask back and run to the exit. 

“No! Please!” she pleaded. 

“The room is yours if you would like to stay”, he stated as if nothing had happened. 

He was gone then and she stared at the dark blankly, unable to discern her own feelings. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Netsuke are one of my favorite things you can find in decorative art museums such as the V&A. The Japanese used them as toggles (So technically they are clothing accessories! They certainly had a keen sense of style in Japan). They can represent animals, fantastic creatures as Yokai (Japanese monsters) or even erotic scenes. Here is a little introduction to Netsuke collecting if you can afford it (Oh, I wish I could too!): http://www.christies.com/features/Netsuke-Collecting-Guide-5-Things-to-Know-7963-1.aspx  
> You can see a picture in the site of the one I describe in this chapter. 
> 
> In this chapter, there are more references to movies. "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" is a silent film. It is a true milestone in cinema history and if you enjoy gothic stories like Tim Burton's, I am certain you would enjoy it. "Hammer" was a production company who produced classic horror movies such as the Christopher Lee's Dracula series. They are perfect for Halloween! 
> 
> Oh, I can't wait to know what you think about this chapter! As I said before, this chapter is a bit long, but I hope you felt rewarded by the end. Please, tell me how you feel about the way things are progressing between Rey and Kylo Ren.


	7. Day 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is disappointed by Kylo Ren's reaction to their kiss.  
> She tries to discover what is causing her faintness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "All day and all of the night" by The Kinks is mentioned in this chapter (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMWNwHof0kc).

Rey had barely had any rest last night. Her eyelids were so heavy she struggled to keep her eyes open, but every time she would fall asleep she woke up in alarm, panting and covered in cold sweat. Confused didn’t begin to cover what she was feeling after what transpired between her and Kylo Ren. 

As the first rays of dawn revealed the sparkling colors of the woods outside, she remained in bed, recalling the events that led her to spend a second night at her client’s house. She felt the touch of her fingers over her lips, as though they have moved of their own volition when she thought about the kiss they shared. Frustration and disappointment invaded her heart when she remembered his reaction. 

She wished he had reacted differently, that he had come to her at night to knock at her door. The house would have been as silent as ever and she would have opened her bedroom’s door for him, and in the dark, they would have kissed again and she wouldn’t have allowed him to escape this time. 

Rey let her hand fall heavily over the mattress. She felt tired and numb and her ideas were disorganized like in a dream. She tried again to get some sleep, but the morning light prevented her from drifting off. When she went to close the curtains, she decided she’d better leave the bed for good. 

She was suddenly reminded of the diary she had found the previous day and she stooped down and laid on her stomach to get it from under the bed where she had hidden it. However, she discovered that it wasn’t there anymore.

Rey sat on her haunches, a deep frown settling on her face. She considered every possible explanation for such an occurrence and she concluded reluctantly that there was reasonably only one: Kylo Ren had taken it. He very well could have figured out that she was sneaking around the room, based on her suspicious behavior, and retrieved the diary when she fell unconscious. 

She came to remember the words that she read in the dairy: “We Kissed! We finally kissed!” 

How odd it was that they matched perfectly what came to happen between her and Kylo Ren.

It had been so fast that Rey didn’t have the time to truly enjoy the feeling of his lips or to comprehend the conflicting emotions that flooded her all at once when he kissed her. She only knew that she really wanted it. She had wanted it for so long and she hadn’t known until they parted and he ran away from her. Now, she was afraid that everything would change between them and that the fragile bond they managed to build between them was put in jeopardy. 

Perhaps she could pretend it had never happened like he had tried to do last night. Rey knew however that she had to put a lot of effort to tame her innate passionate nature. The way he panicked as if he had made a terrible mistake pained her and she hoped that it hadn’t been their first and only kiss.

Rey shook her head as if she could cast away all her irrational thoughts and silly fantasies. She had to know where her priorities laid. She had to pull herself together and get on with her job. That was all that mattered...right?

She left the room, last day’s clothes tucked under her armpit and went to get the small pouch in which she kept her hairbrush and toothbrush. In the downstairs bathroom, she removed the blue nightgown she had borrowed again for sleeping. She contemplated herself in the mirror while in her sheer nylon underwear and suddenly felt hopelessly unattractive.

Rey was thin, verging on bony, she had a slender form with little curves. When she was at school, her comrades used to mock her “boyish” looks and she grew persuaded that she could never compete with other more buxom women. 

Kylo Ren would never consider her attractive! He had been very lonely and the mere presence of a woman must have made him commit the mistake to kiss her, something he seemed to have regretted the moment it happened. 

After a cold shower that helped her chase away the lingering remains of sleep, she dressed up and groomed herself so she would look as composed and professional as she could. When she arrived into the room where her client’s collection was kept, the door was open and she saw that Kylo Ren was waiting for her, inside. 

“Good morning, Miss Rey. How are you feeling today?

- Good. Thank you”.

She considered him with a wary look, circling him carefully to get to her things and he followed her around, staring at her from behind his mask. She had promised herself to act detached and react like a true professional, but it turned out that she was unable to hold back the anger she just discovered she felt towards him.

“Would you like to join me for a coffee?” He asked her, apparently avoiding to comment on her flagrant coldness. 

She felt inexplicably resentful, at the way he seemed so composed as if he had completely forgotten what had happened between them. 

“Join you? 

\- Yes.  
\- And how will we manage to have coffee together in the light of day when you refuse to show me your face?”

He didn’t react to her blatant provocation which further infuriated her.

“I wanted to discuss with you a particular matter. 

\- Let us discuss it now.  
\- Miss Rey…”

His tone was intended to be calming but it sounded patronizing to her ears and she interrupted him: 

“What do you want, Mister Ren?” 

Kylo Ren titled his head in that manner he had when he was being pensive, but Rey’s pout was intransigent.

“I was thinking about the health issues you were having. Your repetitive fainting. It seems that you are tiring yourself too much. Perhaps it is because you have been traveling every morning to get here. I think it would be better if you stayed here while you are working on the collection”. 

Rey certainly did not expect such a proposition and she struggled to know how it really made her feel. She was at once thrilled and baffled, but she mostly felt skeptical. Her usual distrust towards others reappeared as any logical explanation to such generosity eluded her. 

What did he want? She couldn’t tell and it made her reply before she could even consider his suggestion properly: 

“Thank you, Mister Ren, but I think I will manage!”

She sounded snappy and a bit petulant. It made her wince in embarrassment, but she had to go on with it if she wanted to keep a semblance of credibility. She gathered her tools and the rest of her things in her bag and carefully put away the small figurines she was working on yesterday, all under the scrutinous gaze of Kylo Ren. 

“You are leaving?” 

He sounded terribly distraught and it gave Rey some kind of cruel satisfaction. 

“Yes. 

\- Is this...because of what happened yesterday?”

She froze then and glared at him, upset he might think that it was her way to pressure him or to punish him, refusing to acknowledge that it was somehow partly true.

“No”, she simply replied. “Do you have a phone I could use, Mister Ren?” 

She had already her bag strapped to her shoulder and she stared at him with the most serious and unreadable look she could manage as she awaited his response. 

“Yes”, he finally said. 

Rey followed him, noticing how he balled his fist and how his arm trembled while he led her to a small room upstairs. It was an office where he seemed to keep all his electronic appliances, from his computer to his printers and scanner that he must use for his work. There was also an old digital phone that he took then slammed loudly over the desk in front of Rey. 

As soon as she got the piece of paper with Finn’s phone number from her bag, Kylo Ren left her alone in the room, slamming the door behind him. 

“Hello?” Finn’s voice asked after two rings. 

“Finn, it’s Rey, from Kylo Ren’s residence? 

\- Yes, Rey! How are you? Is everything alright?  
\- Yes. I mean...Oh, I am sorry, Finn, but I need a huge favor!  
\- Sure! What is it?  
\- I need you to come and get me to a doctor, please?  
\- What? What’s going on? Are you hurt?  
\- No. No, I am fine. I just fainted, yesterday, and I think I need to see a doctor.  
\- Oh my god! Yes. Yes, of course, I will come. I will be there as soon as I can, okay?  
\- Thank you, Finn! I am so sorry to bother you.  
\- It’s no bother at all! Hold on tight, Babydoll. I will be right there!  
\- Yes. Thank you!”

Rey hung up, then looked around to examine her surroundings more carefully. This room was uncommonly dull, in comparison to the rest of the house. It had no decoration, no personality. She was glad to leave it and make her way downstairs. 

The time she had to wait for Finn, she sat at one of the two chairs facing under the reproduction of Ferdinand Khnopff’s painting. She wished her friend would arrive quickly as new ideas started popping in her head and tormenting her. Part of her hoped that Kylo Ren had fought more vehemently to convince her to stay. She heard him typing instead, the sound of his typewriter echoing infuriatingly in the house and she had to fight the urge to go upstairs and knock on his door so she could confront him about their last night kiss. 

When she finally heard knocking at the door, she jumped and rushed to open it for Finn. She couldn’t stop herself from hugging him as soon as she saw him and he was kind enough to accept it and stroke her bark in an empathetic gesture. 

“Are you ready to go?” he asked her and she looked behind at the spiraling stairs before answering: 

“Yes”. 

She followed him to his motorbike and when she saw her own bicycle leaning on the wall, she wondered how she would be able to come back and get it. 

“I will drive you”, Finn provided a solution when she shared her concern with him. 

He was proving to be a really good friend, not asking for any explanation she wouldn’t willingly provide. She sat behind him and he told her to hold on tight when he started up the engine and they flew towards the woods at a speed Rey found quite alarming. She didn’t even have the time to give a last look at Kylo Ren’s window and see if he was watching them. 

“Are you alright, there?” Finn asked, his voice barely heard over the loud noise of the engine.

“Yes!”, pretended Rey when she was holding for dear life behind him. 

They arrived at a walk-in clinic already jammed with people because it was Sunday. Finn stayed with Rey at the stuffed and noisy waiting room despite her insisting he didn’t have to. He took a magazine and they started gossiping about the celebrities while they awaited her turn. They were having a good time together and soon she felt her mood improving. 

She tried to tell him what happened, avoiding, however, some important details like the ritual and the kiss. Still, Finn looked rather alarmed. 

“He told you the room used to belong to a woman?

\- Yes? What is it, Finn? What do you know?  
\- I don’t really know per say. I wonder… I have heard things about him, some rumors, but I am certain they are exaggerated.  
\- Tell me, please!  
\- I may have heard that Kylo Ren’s wife has disappeared a few years ago”.

Rey paled in shock. When he noticed it, Finn became alarmed and tried to retract: 

“They are just rumors, Rey. 

\- Who told you? Who?  
\- Guys from work. There was apparently a woman living with Kylo Ren a few years ago, but she disappeared one day.  
\- Why do they think that she went missing? Maybe she has left.  
\- I don’t know! I am sure you are right! I am sorry, Rey! I didn’t mean to upset you!”

She noticed then how incensed she had become and she apologized to her friend, feeling quite guilty to have reacted that way: 

“No. I  am sorry, Finn! I know you only want to help me. 

\- Babydoll!” he smiled at her, patting her calf affectionately.

A few magazine pages later, he suggested he get them both some coffee at the vending machine and Rey was so thankful she could have kissed him. While he was gone, she studied the decoration of the waiting room. There were some framed photographs and informative posters, some plastic flowers in vases and a few trinkets decorating the tables and the receptionist’s counter. One small item attracted her attention, an effigy of a snake coiled around an orb. It had a distinctive form and was red, grey and black like...like the First Order’s symbols she had seen on the internet!

Rey rose up and escaped the waiting room in a hurry. She heard Finn calling her and only stopped when he caught her by the elbow: 

“Rey? What’s going on? Why did you leave? 

\- Why did you bring me here, Finn?  
\- Why? You told me to get you to a doctor!  
\- But why this clinic?  
\- It was the closest open clinic I could manage to think of. Rey! What happened?”

Rey bit her lower lip. It appeared to her that she had overreacted and she became afraid she had upset Finn with her apparent distrust: 

“Forgive me, Finn. I am a bit confused. 

\- Don’t worry, Babydoll. I understand. Do you want to go back inside?  
\- No.  
\- Are you sure? I can also drive you home if you prefer.  
\- I want… I have to go back to Kylo Ren’s house.  
\- What? I mean...are you sure?”

Rey read the disbelief and confusion in her friend’s eyes. He must think her a bit insane to want to return to that place.

“Yes. Please. Would you do me this last favor? 

\- I accept only if you promise that it won’t be the last favor you ask of me”.

The smile she gave him brightened her face and it was him, this time, that took her in his arms to squeeze her in a tight hug. 

“ Oh! You are so pretty, baby girl! 

\- Oh, stop it!” she said in mock annoyance, her voice muffled against his chest.

“You be careful, okay? 

\- Yes, Mom!”

When they were back at Kylo Ren’s residence, Finn must have told Rey a thousand times that she had to call him if anything happened. She gave him a tender kiss on the cheek and thanked him, again and again for his help and apologized even more for making him waste his Sunday morning. 

“You think I have something better to do on a Sunday? Rey, this was more exciting than anything I could have done around my house. Let’s do it again sometime! Maybe not at a clinic, though. 

\- Sure”, she laughed then waved at him as he started up his motorbike’s engines and soon disappeared among the trees.

Rey took a deep breath of air before she made her way to the house’s door. As she turned the key to unlock it, she thought about how reckless and possibly dangerous her decision to come back was. It was possible that she had put her trust in Kylo Ren too fast and far too easily. What if the rumors that Finn reported were true? If his “wife” really went missing, did he have something to do with it? 

All the questions that kept accumulating and the mystery around him thickening made her feel uncertain about her decision. She looked at her bike from the corner of her eye. She still could leave now, but she knew deep down that she would always regret it if she did. 

Rey pushed the door open and gasped when she found Kylo Ren standing in the entrance hall. 

“Mister Ren!

\- Miss Rey. You came back”.

She thought she detected relief in his deformed voice. Still, she chose not to remark on it and passed by him to get to the room where she intended to resume her work. 

“Rey”, he called her name, softly, and it made her spin around to face him. 

She had no doubt now that he was desperate and a dark satisfaction bloomed inside her. It was cruel and twisted and yet so pleasurable to torture him, even slightly, so he would learn to not dismiss her as he did. 

“Mister Ren, I will complete my work as we agreed. I don’t need you to treat me any differently than any other of your employees”. 

In two fast and impressively powerful strides, he was standing in front her so close they nearly touched. When he spoke, his words sounded precipitated and feverish, not at all like his usually composed self: 

“But you are not like any other employee! You are...special! You are important!” 

His heavy breathing sounded horrendous coming out of his voice modulator and his shoulders shivered under the effect of a powerful emotion. He reminded her of a fire-breathing dragon, formidable and beautiful in his ferociousness. The image of Chernobog, the Slavic demon from Disney’s Fantasia who impressed her so much when she was a child, came to her mind. She contemplated him with awe and the words that came out of her mouth were far less confident than she intended them to be. 

“I don’t think this is appropriate behavior, considering I work for you. 

\- If it bothers you, then tell me! I will stop. I will leave you alone. You will finish your work and leave and it will be the end of it. Is it what you want?”

Rey avoided his gaze. Her eyes danced from one corner to another as she pondered the right answer. 

“What would you do if I said no?” she asked him, biting the corner of her lower lip.

“Anything you want!”. 

His loud panting was intimidating and yet she was able to muster enough confidence to keep her aplomb. Her lips even trembled as she fought a smirk. 

“Mister Ren, I have work to do. Maybe I will see you later?” 

And with a triumphant air, she left him and headed for the “cabinet of wonder”, avoiding to turn and look at him though still sensing his piercing gaze on her. 

As soon as she came into the room, she closed the door behind her, leaned her back against it and sighed in relief. She was feeling enthralled, a contentment she rarely experienced, and when she resumed her task, she did it with a hopeful smile. Maybe she should have felt a bit guilty, but she knew that the way Kylo Ren seemed so afflicted could only signify attachment.   

She managed to do more work than she expected her overexcited mind would allow. She finished her examination of the netsuke and started her work on the collection of ceramics and blown glass. They were all of peculiar shapes and colors and they had obviously been selected for their extravagance. 

Hunger was the only thing that stopped her in her track. After all, she hadn’t eaten all day apart from the remaining shortbread cookies she carried in her bag and they were far from enough to fill her empty stomach. 

As she decided to have a break and go get something to eat in the kitchen, she heard music coming from outside the room. 

Rey opened the door and was baffled to hear “All Day and all of the night” by The Kinks echoing in the house. It was playing loudly and when she got to the kitchen, she saw that it was her cassette player that played the song. She wondered if it was Kylo Ren’s way to lure there, but he was nowhere to be found. There was, however, food on the counter, its aroma reaching her nostrils with the promise of a delectable hot meal. 

Rey lowered the volume of the music, then listened carefully, trying to detect any movement, but she was only met with silence. She sat at the counter and ate in haste the Tuscan garlic-chicken with roasted tomatoes and glazed mushrooms. It tasted so good and she was so hungry that she literally swallowed it in less than five minutes, regretting afterward she didn’t take the time to properly savor it. Hopefully enough, there was a fruit salad with whipped cream as a dessert and she enjoyed it just like it should. 

After she was done eating, she decided she would write a note to thank Kylo Ren for having prepared the food for her. She went to get a piece of paper from her bag, wrote down her message and headed for his room to slip it under his door as she now had the habit to do. She no longer felt angry at him and she missed their special kind of interactions. 

When she got there, however, she was surprised to discover that the door to Kylo Ren’s room was slightly open. She didn't dare to push it at first and knocked gently while calling him. 

“Mister Ren! Are you there?”

There was no response and her mind reeled at the prospect of him being in trouble. She pushed the door and it made an ominous creaking sound. When she discovered what was inside, her eyes widened in horror. 

The room was all bright red. The walls, the heavy curtains the furnitures, the decoration were all of the same crimson shade and only a few otherwise colored things stood up: Over a desk, a black typewriter and a stack of white pages next to it, a black leather seat and an enormous painting of a woman riding a frenzied horse hanging on the wall. 

Rey took a step inside and she felt as if she had entered another world, a painting or a scene from a Stanley Kubrick's movie. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as her breathing became arduous. Her ears started ringing and a pain, an awful headache appeared suddenly. She heard incomprehensible voices and she started screaming while holding her head and squeezing her eyes shut. 

She barely noticed the hands that gathered her and brought her outside the room. She heard the door being slammed noisily and a strange idea came to her: 

“The room! It has rejected me!” 

Did she say it out loud? The next thing she heard was Kylo Ren’s inhuman yet soothing voice: 

“It’s alright. You are alright”. 

Rey opened her eyes and found herself between his arms, one of his hands placed on her back and the other tenderly cradling her head, keeping her securely tucked against him. She pushed him away, trying to stand on her own, but she had the impression that the ground was trembling underneath her feet. She fell violently on her knees. Under her palms, the floor still quaked and she no longer knew if it was an illusion. A desperate scream came out of her when she saw the walls pulsing around her as if they were alive. 

Kylo Ren stooped and reached with his arms to help her but she shouted: “No!” and tried to escape, crawling pathetically on her knees. 

He followed her, yet he avoided to touch her, obviously mindful of her alarmed state. When she reached the stairs, she gasped at the terrifying sight of an infinite sequence of steps that carried on until they merged into a single point. 

Rey held her head and screamed until her voice broke. 

“Rey, please!” Kylo Ren tried to calm her down. 

She turned around to gaze at him, her cheeks covered with tears and her heartbeat throbbing in her ears. 

“What is happening?” she asked in a strangled voice. “Am I...I am going insane!

\- No!”

Again, Kylo Ren kneeled and reached for her and this time she surrendered to his embrace. He brought her against him and she let her forehead settle over his shoulder. 

“Rey, Rey”, he chanted as he rocked her tenderly as a mother would do with a child. 

Slowly, the throbbing sound receded and the ground stopped shaking. Rey closed her eyes and sighed, letting her arms wrap around the broad expanse of Kylo Ren’s chest. 

“I can’t go on like this!” she murmured, her voice still shaking. “I have to leave”. 

“No!” he shouted while tightening his hold. “NO!

\- Are you doing this to me?” she asked and a new wave of sobs shook her fragile form.  
\- I would never hurt you, Rey. Never! I...I want to help you! You have to believe me”.

Tears fell like rivulets from her eyes. She pulled away so she could look at his masked face. 

“You have to tell me, then” she demanded, her feeble voice still carrying determination. “What happened to your wife?

\- My wife? I have no wife!”

He sounded genuinely clueless and she frowned at the realization that the information provided by Finn really turned out to be unfounded. Still, she insisted: 

“The woman you told me about, the one you said the bedroom belonged to, where is she now? What happened to her?” 

Kylo Ren untied his hold around her and sat on his haunches in front of her. She folded her legs and sat on her side, leaning on one arm, and contemplated him as he shook his head and breathed loudly, his turmoil painful to witness.  

“There has been an accident”, he finally said and his voice was grave and dismal. “I lost her. It was all my fault”. 

Rey’s heart broke at the way he said these three simple sentences. His regret was apparent and his shoulders fell as if under the heaviest of burdens. His whole body quivered and he no longer looked like the dark and superb creature she thought him to be. He now seemed like a man, broken and tortured who hid behind a mask because he couldn’t face himself. 

Shyly, her hesitant hand went to cover his and it made him jump slightly, as though he had forgotten she was there. 

“Mister Ren...I understand…” 

She smiled at him when he lifted his head to look at her. 

“You must miss her very much! I can see that she is still in your mind”, Rey bit her lower lip at this realization, but she refused to let jealousy take over her sympathy. “She won’t be totally gone if she is still alive in your memory”. 

Rey had learned how to read Kylo Ren’s reactions despite his accouterment. Her words had obviously moved him judging by the way he straightened up then leaned closer towards her. He lifted his hand and carefully touched her cheek. She smiled when she felt his gloved fingers against her tears-covered skin, and like she did a few days ago, she grabbed his wrist and brought his hand closer. 

She leaned into his caress and let the last remains of her panic attack drift away in the past. 

“I was so afraid you wouldn’t come back,” Kylo Ren said.

At these words, Rey remembered the note that she intended to give him and that she had tucked inside her pocket. She retrieved it and handed to him, blushing slightly at the perspective to witness his reaction. He took it carefully from her trembling hand and held it high over his head so he could read it. 

“Mister Ren, 

Thank you for the food you have prepared for me. I really appreciate everything you do for me. I have thought of your proposition to let me stay here while I work on your collection. 

I accept if your proposition still stands. 

Rey”. 

He examined the note far longer than it was necessary to read it and Rey started to feel embarrassed. 

Confident that she was feeling better, she rose to her feet and Kylo Ren followed through as soon as he noticed her movement. He toured above her, his hidden gaze still intimidatingly insistent on her. She avoided it and wet her lips nervously. 

“Thank you”, he said to her when she took a step away from him. 

\- For what?  
\- For agreeing to stay.  
\- I should be the one to thank you, Mister Ren”.

A little smile found its way over her lips and she blushed furiously before she even voiced her next words: 

“I liked it when you kissed me, yesterday!” 

She rose her gaze quickly to see his reaction then lower her head when she noticed the way he stiffened.  She felt her cheeks heating and started regretting her remark when his silence went on. 

“Come with me”, he finally said and he took her hand to lead her toward the stairs. 

They arrived downstairs and he made her sit on the same chair where she waited for Finn this morning. 

“Wait for me”, he instructed, his voice at once assertive and beseeching. 

She nodded, aware that her blush must have turned her cheeks and ears deep red. 

He disappeared into a room she still hadn’t visited and quickly reappeared, holding something mysterious in his hand. He got down on one knee and showed her the wide satin ribbon he had brought. Rey gasped, catching his intent. She flapped her lashes, hesitating before agreeing to his tacit proposition. As she reached to get it from him, he stopped her: 

“No. Allow me to do it”. 

She knitted her eyebrows then loosened her tense shoulders, allowing him to put the black satin ribbon over her eyes and around her head. He was so gentle and careful in his movements that she sighed in pleasure and the way he let his fingers linger as he traced the shape of her chin made her shiver in delight. 

She waited with burning anticipation, as she heard him remove his mask: 

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked her in a hushed voice. 

“Do you want this? 

\- Yes.  
\- Then I do too”.

As soon as these words crossed her lips, he crushed his mouth against hers. This kiss was noticeably more hungry, more ardent than the first one. He placed his hand against the back of her head and pushed her closer against him and she finally was able to explore the soft texture of his deliciously full lips. He tasted of rain and fresh leaves, like a forest. He had something savage and yet elegant in the way he devoured her, impatient and yet concentrated enough to collect every small whimper of hers.  

Their sensitive skins brushed against one another and it elicited the most exquisite feelings in the pit of Rey’s stomach. As if she was brought back to life like Sleeping Beauty by the prince’s kiss, she felt her body singing to the rhythm of her accelerated heartbeat. 

She darted her little tongue to tease the crease of his mouth, but he kept his lips stubbornly shut, so instead, she rose her hands to touch his face.

“No!” he said against her lips, catching her wrists before she could reach him. 

He forced her arms behind her back and she sensed him rising on his feet to further deepen their kiss. Her inability to see and now to touch him might have felt frustrating, but it only highlighted the sensations that flooded her mind with pleasure. 

When they parted to catch breath, Rey knew that she was lost, that she would do anything to feel that full mouth kissing her again. She jolted slightly at the feeling of his lips on her neck. She tilted her head backward, giving him better access, a satisfied smile appearing on her lips.

“Kylo!” she said his name and it resonated like a lustful moan. 

He hummed in approval while the sound of their heavy breathing echoed in the house. 

She whined when he let go of her hands and stepped back. She removed the satin ribbon covering her eyes and met the icy stare of his ebony mask.   

“Will I ever see your face?”, she asked, still panting loudly under the effect of their embrace. 

\- Yes. One day. I promise you.  
\- When?  
\- When you are ready.  
\- What does that mean?”

Kylo Ren purposefully ignored her question and she became quite irate when she saw him already heading upstairs: 

“I can’t trust you completely if you refuse to answer!” 

He stopped in his tracks and turned around to face her again. 

“I won’t be weak and put you in danger, Miss Rey. 

\- Again with the “Miss Rey”!” she snapped, infuriated by the distance his formal address put between them.

She glared at him, but it still didn’t persuade him to answer her. 

“You must rest...Rey. The room and everything in it are at your disposal. Tell me if you need anything else”. 

He disappeared then up the stairs, living Rey alone. Her nostrils flared hotly with irritation. She will have to find a way to make him confide in her, just as he did regarding the woman who used to live with him. Then again, he didn’t reveal that much about her either. She still had no idea what their relationship had been and what really happened between them. 

She felt suddenly very tired, the lack of sleep last night and the events of the day having drained all her energy. 

There was still light outside when she arrived in “her” room and laid on her front over the bed. She didn’t even bother to remove her clothes and had barely the force to take off her shoes. Soon, she fell into a slumber, her last word before she drifted off being: “Kylo” like she had moaned it when he kissed her earlier.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The painting Rey sees in Kylo Ren's room is the glorious "Frenzy Exultations" by Polish symbolist artist Władysław Podkowiński (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Podkowi%C5%84ski-Sza%C5%82_uniesie%C5%84-MNK.jpg). The first time I saw its reproduction in a book I was blown away by its beauty and powerful subject matter. Can you think of any better image to symbolize Rey and Kylo Ren's relationship in Star Wars? 
> 
> Chernabog is the demon that appears in Fantasia's Night On Bald Mountain (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLCuL-K39eQ). I am probably traumatized for life by the image of that giant invoking demons from the top of the mountain. But I also find it utterly beautiful! Yes, that says a lot about me! 
> 
> As many movie lovers, I believe Stanley Kubrick to be one of the greatest artists that ever worked in cinema. Apart from his incredible storytelling and directing, his twisted humor, he always used a very distinctive color palette, saturated and a bit unnatural. 
> 
> Thank you so much for your comments, kudos and all your support, my dear readers! Can you imagine how happy I get when I receive a notification from AO3? The answer is: A lot!!! for lack of a better expression. 
> 
> I actually have a Tumblr: lastmouseleft.tumblr.com I love chatting with fellow Reylos! I am curious to know what you think about the new trailer for SW:TLJ.


	8. Day 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes to see a doctor and discovers a new clue concerning the First Order.  
> Kylo Ren's house still holds many secrets for her to uncover, too.

Rey followed the light with her eyes as it moved slowly from one side to the other. The doctor turned off the flashlight and sighed in barely concealed annoyance. 

“As I said before, it must be fatigue”, declared the woman in white medical scrubs.

The doctor was a bit impatient, professional but devoid of true empathy. Still, Rey couldn’t blame her. Working in a walk-in clinic, dealing with all kind of real and made-up conditions could turn anyone a bit blasé.

When Rey woke up this morning, she felt the urge to return to the clinic where Finn had driven here yesterday. She needed reassurance regarding her condition. It was getting worse judging by what had happened to her the day before. Besides, she sensed that she might get some information if the figurine she saw there had indeed a connection with the First Order.

She didn’t bother to shower or eat. She put on a black dress she found in the wardrobe that was a bit too formal but loose enough for her to drive her bike and sneaked quickly out the house to get to the clinic before Kylo Ren could see her. She had no desire to tell him where she was really going or make up another reason, even if she didn't have to.

At the waiting room, Rey got a candy bar from the vending machine and chewed it while waiting for her turn. There were much fewer patients today considering it was Monday morning and she only had to wait nearly half an hour to finally meet a physician.

She tried to be as clear and precise as she could while describing her symptoms, even mentioning the noises and voices she kept hearing when she had her attacks.

“Voices?” reacted the doctor, a bit more interested now. “Do they...tell you to do things?

\- No. I just...I think I hear them calling my name.  
\- Hum! Well, that’s a bit more reassuring. I think you are under a bit of stress, Miss…” the practitioner glanced at the file she held in her hands the resumed: “...Rey.  
\- Doctor, I was wondering, could it be that I have been drugged?  
\- Drugged? Do you suspect someone of drugging you?  
\- No! Not really. I just want to be sure.  
\- We can get you tested if it makes you feel better. I will be needing a urine sample and maybe a blood test. Are you comfortable with that?  
\- Sure!”

The doctor scribbled some instructions on her prescription notebook then produced a plastic vial and a blood collection tube from a drawer for Rey.

“Uhm! Doctor, I have another question to ask. Do you know what the figurine of a snake around a sphere you have in the waiting room actually symbolizes? 

\- I really don’t know which one you are talking about”, replied the woman with a suspicious look. “But I know that a snake coiled around a sphere is the symbol of a pharmaceutical company we deal with.  
\- Really? Which one?  
\- First Industries. Perhaps, they have left some promotional products here”.

Rey’s face illuminated and she smirked triumphantly. She knew she had found a new clue.

The doctor took a blood sample from Rey. The young woman had to turn her face to avoid seeing her blood filling the tube and felt a bit queasy afterward. When she noticed her paleness, the physician offered her a bland biscuit and a small pack of apple juice.

Feeling better, Rey went to fill the plastic vial and deposited at the reception counter for the urine test, cringing at how sordid some medical procedures were.

She made a detour to her place so she could get some clothes and stuff she would need during her stay at Kylo Ren’s home. She gathered them into a bag she would be able to carry on her back while she was on her bike. She didn’t get more than the absolute minimum because she was uncertain how long her stay would last. She needed reassurance that it was temporary, that she hadn’t fallen for her client so much that she would give up everything and just join him in his secluded house in the woods. 

Rey drove by the small shop where she usually got her favorite cookies. She made a stop to buy two extra big boxes of the almond flavored buttery shortbread cookies, just in case. As soon as she came out of the shop, she ripped open one package and stuffed a whole cookie in her mouth. Some crumples fell on her scarf and she had to shake it to get them off while chewing on her biscuit.

She didn’t bother to dress in a professional manner. Today, she was wearing something comfortable, something that resembled more her usual look. An old worn-off jean, a t-shirt, a military jacket, a flowery scarf, and oh-so-much-more-comfortable-than-heels sneakers. She had groomed her hair into a quirky three buns style she had mastered since she had invented it when she was a child.

Rey felt more like herself in this outfit. She had abandoned the idea that she had to look serious for her job. Really, agreeing to stay with a client while accomplishing the task he was paying her for wasn’t a very professional move, so her clothes wouldn’t change anything.

When she engaged through the road that would get her to the woods, Rey noticed that she was paddling much quicker than she usually did. She was anxious to get back to the house, to him.

Rey stopped her bike abruptly. She was just at the edge of the forest. Did she...did she love him? 

At the thought, a simple thought, her heart started racing like a startled horse. How could it be? She had only known him for a week. She didn’t even know how he looked like under his mask.

When she started her bike again, Rey was a bit less eager and a tad confused. She knew she had been starving for connection. She wasn’t good with men and she had been feeling quite lonely lately, but to fall for a man like Kylo Ren. Why?

Why not?

Sure, he was eccentric and secretive, but he also was considerate and nice to her. He was different from anyone she knew. He was a loner, a fragile soul who had to hide to keep safe from the pain that human interactions could sometimes bestow upon him. He was like her.

Rey quickly arrived at Kylo Ren’s residence and she was glad. She got off her bike and went to place it against the wall. 

She was enthusiastic to get inside, but an idea stopped her on her track. She had never actually got a proper look around the house. She had always gone straight for the door and didn’t walk around to see how it looked on the outside.

Carefully, she circled the construction, dead leaves cracking under her feet. The house looked quite normal. There was the big window to the living room and probably the one to her now assigned bedroom. She was going to head for the entrance when she noticed something. There was a boarded-up window downstairs. It was tightly sealed with wood planks, but it was a definitive indication that there was a basement. 

Rey’s brain reeled with the possibilities that her discovery involved. She ran to get to the door and fumbled nervously to get the key inside the lock. She had to find a way to access the basement, sensing it held some of the answers she so ardently sought.

As soon as she got in, though, she heard the voice of Mister Hux talking loudly from upstairs:

“Do you know what you have done?

\- Nothing happened”, she thought she heard Kylo Ren answer, though his voice was too distant.

“You have to learn how to control your emotions. Have you forgotten why we are doing this?”

At that moment, the lawyer was descending the stairs and noticed Rey standing in the entrance hall.

He looked startled and gave her the once-over, visibly surprised by her attire. It took only a breath for him, though, to regain his controlled and distant demeanor.

“Miss Rey! How nice to see you, again. Late as usual!

\- Mister Hux”, she acknowledged but didn’t comment on his remark.

She had to stay on his good side if she wanted him to agree to her request:

“Do you have a moment to spare? I have a few questions I want to ask you?”

Hux seemed a bit reluctant at first, but short of excuses, he agreed to follow her to the room where Kylo Ren kept his collection.

“Mister Hux, what do you know about the First Order?” she asked him, point blank.

“The First Order? Never heard of them.

\- It is a cult Mister Ren is part of.  
\- Oh! Right! I knew he was part of a cult, but I don’t know much about it.  
\- You mean you take care of Mister Ren’s business but you’ve never had to deal with this cult?  
\- I don’t know what you are getting at, Miss Rey?”

His apparent calm was unnerving and Rey had to avoid confronting him about the exchanges she overheard between him and Kylo Ren.

“Do you happen to know about First Industries?” she continued.

“Yes. They are a pharmaceutical company. Why?

\- I... There are so many questions I have about…  
\- Look! I know that being around a man like Mister Ren can make a young woman’s mind like yours get a bit...wild. He seems mysterious and dark, but believe me, it is very deliberate. He is just a man with somewhat...peculiar tastes.  
\- Have you seen his face?  
\- Yes”.

Rey’s eyes rounded in shock. She didn’t expect the attorney to admit to it so easily.

“How does he look like?

\- Now, Miss Rey. You know I am bound to secrecy”.

He seemed so content while delivering that last line. She knew that he had been dodging her questions, even lying shamelessly from the start. 

“Is that it?” he asked will a self-satisfied air.

“Yes.

\- Until next time, then, Miss Rey”.

She glowered at his direction as he left her alone in the room. 

With an angry huff, she grabbed her backpack and went straight to the upstairs bedroom. She threw the bag over the bed then headed for Kylo Ren’s room. 

Somehow, she was fuming. She couldn’t stand the fact that the two men were keeping a secret from her, something, she sensed, concerned her. 

She could hear the sound of the typewriter coming from the inside, still, she knocked on the door not caring if she might disturb him during his work.

“Mister Ren, I need to talk to you”.

Her tone was assertive and she heard the typing noise stop, but after a long moment, it resumed as if she hadn’t been heard.

“Don’t ignore me!” she shouted, hitting the door loudly with both her hands. “Answer me!” 

Still, Kylo Ren denied her and continued typing. Her cheeks were burning and her lips twitching with rage. She ran quickly downstairs and tried to open every single door there was on the first floor, hoping to find the one that led to the basement. However, most of them were locked, apart from those that lead to cupboards, the bathroom and of course the “cabinet of wonders”. 

That didn’t cool her ardor. She went to the kitchen where she searched for a knife sharp and thin enough for her to pick the door locks. In her anger, though, her hands were trembling and at the first attempt she ended up wounding herself. The blade cut her palm and she screeched loudly while letting the knife fall on the floor.

In an instant, Kylo Ren appeared behind her, but instead of reassuring, his arrival added to her alarm. Rey took a step back and held her hand against her chest so he wouldn’t see her wound.

“What happened?”

She didn’t answer. She felt a bit weak at the knees and she shivered and keened at the pain that the cut caused her.

He strode towards her and grabbed her wrist to make her show her hand. Without a word, he pulled her towards the bathroom. There, he made her sit over the toilet while he searched for some disinfectant and cotton balls.

A few blood drops fell on the floor at Rey’s feet and she watched them spread over the tiles in a mix of horror and wonder. 

Kylo Ren took her hand in his, turning her palm upwards and applied the medicine on her wound. She hissed in pain at the stinging sensation, but his actions remained rough and determined. He put a compress over the wound and applied pressure over it with his fingers. Still, blood kept flooding out of the cut.

“It won’t stop! Why doesn’t it stop?” Rey panicked.

“You have to believe that it will stop. You have to believe it will get better”, he instructed.

“What?”

Rey couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Yet, Kylo Ren’s voice bared no duplicity. He was genuinely convinced of the truth of his statement.

She was starting to feel a bit drowsy and she leaned forward, her head falling against Kylo Ren’s chest. There was...a warm feeling...something rather pleasant at being this close to him. She remembered their kiss last night and she wished he would kiss her again, that she would remain in his arms for the rest of the day.

Rey woke up in bed, just like the previous times after she fell unconscious. This time, however, Kylo Ren was sitting next to her on the swiveling 60s chair, watching over her. She noticed that he had put a bandage around her hand and that the blood had stopped flowing. 

“Your friend, Finn, came by”, he told her. “He seemed genuinely worried. I told him you would call him when you get better”.

Rey flapped her eyelashes in surprise. She didn’t detect any jealousy in his tone. She was also expecting him to comment on the incident, but he didn’t.

“Thank...thank you”, she stammered.

“Do you feel well enough to eat?” he asked her and she was even more astounded.

She pushed on her hand to get off the bed, but he stopped her.

“No. I will bring you the food. You can stay in bed.

\- But…”

Kylo Ren didn’t acknowledge her protest as he already disappeared behind the door. 

Rey looked outside the window and contemplated the beautiful autumn scenery. She noticed something quite unsettling, however. There were no animals in the woods.

As soon as the thought came to her, two crows flew over the threes, as if someone noticed a mistake in the scene and threw the birds to correct it. 

Rey was terrified. Her mind was playing tricks. It must be. She tried to remember if she ever crossed a rodent, an insect or any kind of animal while cycling through the forest, but there was none she could recall. There were only trees in the woods like an unconvincing scenery for a play. 

And now, there were suddenly birds flying around. She even saw a fox peeking from behind a tree.

“Rey”, Kylo Ren called her softly and she snapped her head to the side to look at him.

He carried a tray with what seemed to be a bowl of soup, a skillet and a fruit plate. The savory smell of hot bread reached her nostrils and she salivated.

He placed the tray next to her, over the bed and went to sit in the chair again. Carefully, with her eyes fixed on him, she reached for the food tray and placed it over her bent knees. 

He watched her while she ate the mushroom cream and the small bread he had taken care to cover in salted butter, making Rey increasingly uncomfortable.

“It is very unsettling, the way you keep looking at me while I eat!” she commented and he shifted in his seat.

“Do you want me to leave?

\- No! That’s not what I want! I want you… I wish you would… I don’t know.  
\- Rey”, he pronounced her name in the most soothing way. “I know you are upset, but you have to be patient.  
\- Patient? Mister Ren, can you imagine how hard it is for me to trust you? I have always been prudent and I know that’s how I managed to get through life until now. Still, I want to trust you! But you keep hiding things from me, important things, things that concern me!  
\- I would never hurt you.  
\- You keep saying that! But how do I know? Every time I hear you speak with Mister Hux, it sounds like a conspiracy”.

At these words, Kylo Ren jumped out of his chair and went to sit next to Rey at the edge of the bed. He placed his hand over hers in a way he wanted calming but it made her face flush with heat.

“You shouldn’t care what Hux says. He is just...a puppet”.

Rey’s eyes were fixed on their joined hands as he let his fingers intertwine with hers. He was wearing gloves, but she still recalled how his skin felt when their hands had touched while they shared a meal in the dark, two nights ago.

“Does it have to do with the First Order?” she ventured, her voice lacking confidence as she feared she might ruin the moment.

She felt him squeeze her hand slightly in reaction, then, after a short silence, he answered:

“Yes.  
\- So Mister Hux is part of it too?  
\- You could say that, yes. He defends their interests.  
\- I have been to a clinic today…  
\- A clinic?  
\- Yes. I wanted to see a doctor, about all the attacks I’ve been having.  
\- What did they tell you?  
\- The doctor said it was fatigue. But that is not the point. I saw something there, an effigy that reminded me of the First Order. It is apparently the logo of a pharmaceutical company called First Industries”.

Kylo Ren seemed quite distraught by this revelation. He straightened his chest and stared at her while he breathed loudly through his mask.

“What is it?” she inquired with knitted brows. 

“You… You shouldn’t dig further into this, Rey. It is for your own good.

\- My own good?  
\- You must know, it is dangerous, for you.  
\- Are you threatening me?  
\- No! Rey, I would never… I don’t want you to get involved.  
\- I guess I am already involved.  
\- Please, Rey. Don’t be stubborn. You have to trust me”.

He sounded so desperate, so alarmed, she felt her heart melt as well as her resolve. She lowered her gaze and his hand came to fondle her heated cheek.

“Rey, you shouldn’t concern yourself about what happens between me and the First Order. 

\- Why are you with them? Do you believe in their ideology?  
\- I need them.  
\- Why?  
\- Don’t you see how isolated I am and how difficult it is for me to connect with others? You said yourself you wouldn’t trust me.  
\- It’s not that! Mister Ren, I know how you feel.  
\- You know that a writer like me has to have connections. You, yourself, have to deal with that awful boss of yours”.

Rey nearly burst out laughing at the mention of Unkar Plutt. She didn’t know that even his clients thought him insufferable.

“So you have joined a cult to help your writing career?” she asked him frankly.

“I have joined them because they have something I need.

\- What is it?  
\- Rey… That’s the thing I cannot tell you.  
\- Why?  
\- It would put you in danger.  
\- I want… I want to be put in danger. I want to share this burden with you”.

What was she saying? This was going out of hand. 

Rey cringed at the sound of her own words. She might as well declare her feelings for him! A furious flush made her cheeks and ears burn with shame. 

Hopefully enough, Kylo Ren didn’t comment. He stood up and said to her:

“I will leave you to eat in peace”.

She wanted to stop him, his eventual absence filling her with melancholy, but she resolved herself to watch him leave the room. 

Rey ate the rest of the soup, an omelet with blue cheese and the pear and apple morsels he had brought her. She didn’t savor the food properly, however. Her mind was much too distracted.

She felt well enough to bring the tray with the empty plates to the kitchen. Then, she headed for the “cabinet of wonders”.  There she noticed something she hadn’t paid attention to when she came in with Hux earlier. There was a cardboard box over the desk. Inside, she found some new tools like a stand magnifier, a variety of glues and paints and tongs.  A smaller box contained the broken music box she had left in the library a few days ago.

Rey retrieved the material and laid it over the desk. She had promised Kylo Ren that she would give a go at restoring the music box and she was feeling oddly optimistic about it. She liked the idea that this new task involved “fixing” something, offering it a new life.

Maybe, Rey thought, that was what she wanted to do with Kylo Ren. She didn’t have a savior complex per se, but she felt that she cared for him. When he told her about what had happened with the “other woman”, she was deeply moved. Perhaps, he knew that she could help him and that’s why he agreed to confide in her. Could it be why he had chosen her?

Rey put her work on the collection on hold and started her new task: restoring the music box. She retrieved the little fragments of lacquered wood she had gathered in a photo film canister and placed them carefully over her notebook and began comparing them one by one with the cracks on the lead of the music box using a small tong to pick them up.

It was a very long and meticulous task, but she felt it was exactly what she needed. It was like meditation and it helped her put some order in her thoughts. 

Time went by and she decided she needed a small break. She thought a nice cup of tea and some biscuits would help with the stiffness she felt in her neck. As she walked towards the kitchen, she noticed something unusual from the corner of her eye. There was a light coming out from under a door, the one that led to the same room she tried to access earlier and ended up cutting her hand. 

Rey carefully stepped inside the hallway and towards the door. She recalled how seeing Kylo Ren’s abomination of a room had sent her in a panic attack, but it didn’t make her cower. On the contrary, she was even more determined to understand what was happening in this house, what was happening to her. 

Tentatively, she turned the doorknob and it didn’t apply any resistance. The door was open and revealed to her a few stairs that went down to a basement. There was no one in there, but a flickering light illuminated the small room. 

Rey went down the stairs, her heart thrumming loudly in her ears. When her feet reached the basement's floor, she looked around. It seemed rather...normal. There were a few empty plant pots and some gardening tools, a toolbox over a wooden table, some cables and an old PC covered in dust. On a corner, she eyed some frames covered in brown paper. She made her way to stoop before them and rip the paper that covered the first one. The eye of a woman appeared and it made her gasp. There was something unsettling in her gaze, some twisted intent. 

Rey removed the rest of the paper covering the frame and stood up to examine it. 

“Sin!” she whispered, recognizing the panting. 

It was a work by Franz Von Stuck that represented a naked Eve encircled by a giant dark boa. Rey knew the painting and had always found it quite disturbing. The way Eve looked straight at the viewer as if she knew exactly what they were thinking when they laid eyes on her bare skin. 

Rey had to avert her gaze. She had the awful feeling that the porcelain-skinned woman knew what she wanted, her deepest desires, those that Rey still refused to acknowledge. 

She noticed that one of the walls of a basement had a strange texture. It was made of wood and it didn’t take Rey too long to understand that there was something hidden behind it. The room was quite small and she couldn’t see the window she had noticed earlier that morning. 

She got closer to the wall and applied her ear, listening carefully for any noise, but there was none apart from the sound of her breath and her accelerated heartbeat. 

The light flickered again and she jolted with a little scream. It had become too unnerving for her to stay in the basement and she rushed towards the stairs. When she was back upstairs, she closed the door carefully, chewing on her bottom lip. 

Why was the light on? Who unlocked the door? Rey headed for Kylo Ren’s room, hoping he might tell her if it was indeed him who did it. She knocked on his door but there was no answer. She couldn’t hear any noise coming from inside and she doubted he was there. She frowned when she realized that he might be in the secret room in the basement. 

She had to be sure. She searched for him, in the library, in her bedroom, just in case, downstairs at the kitchen, the living room, the “cabinet of wonders”. He was nowhere to be found.

Rey started to worry. She paced around the room, wondering if it was preferable to wait for him to reappear or return to the basement. For she was afraid. She didn’t want to go back there. Now she realized that the place wasn’t as anodyne as she had thought. There was something twisted, a dark aura. Maybe she was imagining things. Maybe it was the knowing look of Eve in the painting.

Rey was however brave and determined. Her apprehension didn’t stop her before from coming back to Kylo Ren’s house and it wouldn’t prevent her now from getting to the truth.

She came back to the door that led to the basement. The light was still on and she went straight for the wooden wall. She carefully patted the surface, taking care not to get a splinter. She was searching for a door, a trap, something that would allow her to access the secret room, but there weren’t any. 

Rey kicked the wall in frustration than hit it with her palms, which made the cut in her hand open again. The bandage became damp with her blood and she decided that she had had enough.

“Mister Ren!” she shouted. “I know you are there”.

There was no reply and she started doubting herself. Where could he be? Did he leave the house?

Rey applied some pressure against the wound, hoping to stop the flow of blood while she headed for the bathroom. There, she found the medical supplies that Kylo Ren had used earlier. She sat on the edge of the bathtub and removed the bandage from her hand. She saw her blood bubbling out of her wound. It wasn’t as worrying as before, but the sight still frightened her. She applied a cotton ball over the cut and took a sharp breath while waiting for the blood to congeal around the wound.

“Rey, what’s the matter?”

She snapped her head when she heard Kylo Ren’s voice and realized that he was standing at the door.

“Where have you been?” she snapped, a bit too distressed to really care for property.

“I have been here”, he answered, his voice conveying curiosity.

 “No. You were...I couldn’t find you!”

He slowly approached her and got on his knees before her. She watched him carefully as he took her wounded hand in his and removed the cotton ball. Some of the fibers got stuck and she whimpered when he tugged at them to clean her wound. The blood seemed to have stopped rushing out and Kylo Ren took care to apply some disinfectant and a new bandage to isolate the cut. 

There was tenderness in his movements this time. He was careful and caring and Rey thought that he was also trying to fix her, just like she was doing it with his music box.

“I was afraid you were gone, that you had left me”, she confessed in a murmur.

“I won’t leave you”, he replied and it sounded like an oath.

Rey’s heart, already racing, throbbed with an undeniable surge of hope. With her unwounded hand, she touched his mask, wishing she could feel his skin under her fingertips.

He leaned forward and placed his head against the crook of her neck. He nuzzled his mask against her delicate skin and she starved for something more than these innocent caresses. 

“I am so weak”, she heard him declare in the most wrenching way.

“No!” she reacted, pushing his shoulders so he would see her face. “Why do you say that?

\- I am so afraid to lose you. Every day I fear I might never see you again.  
\- I am not going anywhere!”

Rey’s voice trembled with emotion.  It was reckless to promise such a thing, but it somehow felt right. She knew deep down that it was what she wanted.

She bit her lips like she always did when she hesitated to say something. Her cheeks turned crimson before she could utter a world. When she spoke, her voice wasn’t louder than a whisper.

“I wish I could touch your skin”.

Her eyes widened in embarrassment, then she took a deep breath, deciding that she might as well go with it now that she had started.

“I wish we could be together”.

Kylo Ren stared at her and it made her painfully self-conscious.

“You kissed me. I thought you might be...interested”.  

She scrunched up her nose, her words sounding ridiculous and absurd to her ears.

“I shouldn’t.

\- Why not?  
\- It could be dangerous.  
\- Dangerous? What do you mean? Are you...sick?”

It never occurred to Rey that Kylo Ren might suffer from a condition that forced him to wear his mask. The connection to the First Order and First Industries would make sense then. However, the laugh that came out of his voice modulator convinced her that she was wrong. 

“I am not.

\- Then, what is it? You don’t find me attractive, is that it?  
\- Rey, don’t, please. Don’t make it about you?  
\- Then why? I know...I know you want me, even a little. When we kissed, I felt how much you were trying to control yourself.  
\- I see now that it was a mistake!  
\- No! This is unfair!”

She pouted and turned her face to avoid his gaze. The sting of rejection hurt her more than the cut in her palm. 

“Rey, there is nothing I want more than to be with you…” he said softly as if he knew how much she was doubting herself at that moment.

“Then why don’t you do it?

\- For you!  
\- I…I want you to be with me. I want you!”

Her voice sounded uncommonly determined and seductive. Her glassy eyes were fixated on him and she imitated the look she saw in Von Stuck’s Eve’s eyes.

She heard him inhale loudly then he got on his feet and left the bathroom without a word. It seemed to her that he was fleeing more than anything.

The pain she felt in her heart made her whimper, like a cloak of darkness fell on her and chased away every last trace of hope. She felt humiliated, utterly chagrined. 

Rey stood up, but her legs felt heavy when she walked. Every heartbeat sent a stinging bitterness flowing inside her veins and made her body numb. Her insides twisted and her stomach shrunk, still, no tears would fall from her eyes. 

As if under a spell, her legs brought her back to the room where her work awaited her and she resumed her task, her mind completely blank. Like an automaton, she pursued her restoration of the music box. For hours, she kept going, until she couldn’t keep her eyelids open without effort. Her hands started trembling and she knew she couldn’t continue like this. 

She hadn’t eaten, though she decided to go straight to bed. She was in no state to get food. 

In the room, her movements were still mechanical. She removed her shoes, her jeans, her t-shirt, her eyes lost in the void. When she was left in her underwear, she heard a subtle knock. 

Rey spun around to face the door. She had the nightgown in her hand, but she looked at it carefully before she threw it over the bed and went to answer the door in her undergarments. 

She opened it wide and faced Kylo Ren, her chin held high, her eyes sparkling with pride. She heard him take a sharp intake of breath when he saw her. 

“What is it?” she asked as if she wasn’t half naked before him. 

“I… Rey!” 

He seemed out of breath, completely caught off guard. She glared at him and she looked formidable. She kept strong even under his intense gaze. She wouldn’t flinch. 

Kylo Ren stepped in the room and she let him. He closed the door behind him slowly and stayed there, his back towards her. 

“I came...because I thought about what you said”. 

He couldn’t see it, but Rey’s expression brightened notably when he said it. A sparkle of hope was reborn inside her, a small seed that begged to blossom. 

“I can’t...I can’t show you my face...So we will have to be in the dark”. 

She gasped and he turned around  abruptly to look at her. 

“You will have to promise you won’t try to touch my face.

\- I promise. I won’t”.

Rey could sense the flush that appeared over her cheeks and spread over her neck and ears. She couldn’t believe it was actually happening. She had dreaded until now, this moment. She was certain she would panic and ruin it, and yet, she knew now that it was what she wanted, what she had always wanted. 

“I will have to tie your hands…just to be sure”, Kylo Ren added and he sounded somehow mortified. 

It was obviously not a kink of his, or maybe it was, but right now it sounded more like a technicality they had to do with. 

“Do you agree?” he asked in his deep mechanized voice. 

“Yes!” Rey answered without hesitation. 

She would do it, she didn’t care. However, she felt she had to be clear about something: 

“I agree because I trust you, Mister Ren”, she declared, her eyes fixed on the floor. Then she lifted her head and met his gaze. “I trust you”. 

Kylo Ren took another deep breath and went to the wardrobe. He was obviously very familiar with its content as he quickly retrieved a red velvet belt that was part of a very elegant dress. When he came back next to Rey, he asked her again: 

“Are you sure about this? 

\- Yes”, she whispered, her voice heavy with a seductive languor.

He took her hand in his, just like he did when he made her sit in a chair, and lead her towards the bed. She climbed over it, her heart beating so hard she thought it might burst out of her chest and fly away like a bird freed of its confines. 

She sat over the mattress and he offered her his hand. She saw how much her fingers trembled when she reached for him and she begged her body to calm down, to let her savor the moment. Slowly, delicately, he tied the belt around her wrist while she followed carefully every one of his actions. He carefully brought her arm over her head and secured the rope around the head end of the bed. Rey had to slide and lay down on her back to accommodate him. 

He walked towards the other side of the bed and he fastened her other wrist with the belt. He proved even more delicate as it was her wounded hand he was manipulating. When her arms were tightly attached to the bed, Kylo Ren went to turn the light off. 

Rey felt doubt and fear start to creep inside her mind, but she wouldn’t let them in. She chased them away like unwanted guests. Still, she gasped loudly when the room was plunged into darkness. She saw the shadow of Kylo Ren walking towards the window before he closed the curtains. 

Her eyes saw no more and she had to rely on her other senses to locate him. She was panting loudly, but she heard the sound of his mask while he removed it. She felt him getting in bed next to her then heard his whispering voice: 

“I am a fool”. 

He said it like it was a confidence and Rey turned her head towards him, even if they couldn’t see each other. 

“No! Please, stop saying that. 

\- I have…I want to stay with you.  
\- Yes. Yes, I want you to!  
\- You are everything to me.  
\- Oh! I...I feel the same way”.

She felt his lips landing against hers and they kissed like it was the last time. There was a sense of urgency, a longing so strong they tried to get as close to one another as they could. Their lips moved in a strange and yet instinctive choreography, their tongues finally meeting, dancing against each other. 

Rey didn’t know she would feel so frustrated so quickly because of her tied hands. She wanted to touch him, to feel his skin, his hair under her fingertips. The feeling of deprivation got even worse when he latched his lips around the pulse point in her neck. 

She whimpered and kicked her legs impetuously, but he ignored her. His lips followed the line of her shoulder and he pushed the suspenders of her bra down her arms before reaching behind her to unhook it. 

His touch was passionate yet so caring. She felt cherished by his fingers, his lips. The sound that the friction between their skins produced was an enchanting melody and the way Rey chanted when he caressed her breasts with his soft hair echoed in the room like a song. 

He was deliberate in his movements and yet she heard him breathing loudly, nervously as he touched her and kissed her. His hands were big and he traced the form of her silhouette from the top of her head to her toes. She laughed joyfully when his fingers tickled her feet and she heard him sighing in delight. 

“Kylo”, she said his name, slowly, languorously and he gasped. 

He peppered a trail of kisses down from her navel. When she felt his mouth on her, she screamed and quaked in passion. 

It was incredible! She still couldn’t believe it was actually happening. She had hoped but never thought that they would get to this. 

Rey screamed and shivered in pleasure under his ministrations. She heard him hum and moan and when she reached that point of culmination, she sensed him moving over her. He kissed her again, his lips hot and demanding. She sensed him removing his clothes in hurry and she soon felt his bare skin against hers. 

He made love to her while he murmured his devotion to her: 

“Rey, my Rey!

\- Kylo!” she kept repeating, his name a delicious treat rolling over her tongue.

She couldn’t tell how long their embrace had lasted. It felt at once very long and not long enough. When their bodies were sated, he still kept her tightly snuggled against him. 

“Please, untie me”, she pleaded. 

“Do you promise you won’t try to touch me?” he repeated and Rey's heart raced at the sound of his real voice. 

It was deep, rich, unique. It sounded beautiful, like a melody she loved but hadn't heard for a long time. 

“I promise! I promise!” she insisted and she felt him stretching next to her so he could remove the belt secured to the head end of the bed. 

When she got free, Rey felt a twisted urge to touch him. She was Psyché, unable to prevent herself from looking at her lover’s, Eros, true form. But, just like the legend told her, curiosity had a price. She feared Kylo Ren might get startled and flee like the god of love when a few drops of candle wax burned his skin. 

Rey put her hands against her heart and her lover brought her closer against him, her head securely against his chest. His smell was intoxicating, his warmth so comforting. 

“Is this a dream?” she asked and his only answer was a deep exhalation. 

She felt safe with him, a bit tired though her heart beat steadily to a merry tempo. Soon, she was drifting away, and the last thought she had was that she wished she would always have him next to her, every night, for the rest of her life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for updating a bit late. I had some exams I had to study for and still I wanted to write and go on Tumblr to blabber about Reylo and Star Wars. I didn't get to answer your comments and I will do it right away. 
> 
> I am a bit anxious to know how you feel about this (how can I put it?) latest development. Do you think I should change the rating or add a warning? 
> 
> I mention the myth of Psyché and Eros in this chapter, but I have noticed that this story has also some Jane Eyre and Blue Beard undertones. I didn't consciously make the choice to reference these works, but I guess they have really influenced me. I also get really spooked out while writing all the parts where Rey sneaks around the house. Can you believe it? I mean, I am writing the scenes and they still scare me. That's weird! 
> 
> "The Sin" (Die Sünde) by Franz Von Stuck is an incredibly beautiful and powerful painting. The painter has produced more than ten version of it (I guess he was a bit obsessed with it), my favorite one being the 1893 version (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sin_(painting)). I am a heterosexual woman, still, I felt a bit hot under the collar the first time I saw. 
> 
> As a side note, allow me to do a bit of (shameless) self-promoting. I have written a Reylo one-shot this last week, called "The Mark". If you enjoy my writing, maybe you would like to give it a look.  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/12393768
> 
> Don't forget to ask me anything about the story or you can also drop a comment if you want to talk about how wonderful and inspiring Reylo is. I am always glad to read your reactions!


	9. Day 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has to know the truth about Kylo Ren and his mysterious house.  
> She takes some drastic measures to finally unveil the mystery.

Rey considered her naked form in the mirror. It was still very early in the morning and the room was dimly lit, but she still could clearly see a change in herself. She tilted her head and touched her neck delicately. Her skin still remembered the touch of his lips.

When previous sexual encounters with other men had left her a bit embarrassed, with a feeling of emptiness in her stomach, this time it made her feel beautiful, powerful.

She felt hopeful. Her future seemed auspicious. She already pictured herself living with Kylo Ren. She would stay with him at his strange house. Indeed, she had grown attached to it and maybe, one day, she would be able to call it home. That won’t prevent her from pursuing her career if she wanted to. She could cycle to her work. If she stayed, she would also be able to see Finn again. She had worried she wouldn’t have many opportunities to meet him after her work would be done, but if she lived here, she could see him every day when he would come to deliver the food.  

As for Kylo Ren, she would be able to talk to him, to kiss him, to love him, every day, until her body and heart got sated, and she knew she would never get enough of him. She loved him. She loved this strange dark creature hiding in the woods.

She had always known she was different. She longed for something different in life. It always made her stand out among her peers, but she felt now that she had finally found her place. She didn’t mind becoming the bride of a creature. He wanted her for what she was, and she wanted him despite his quirks.

Rey got fresh underwear from her backpack and she went to retrieve a dress from the wardrobe instead of the clothes she had brought with her. She had spotted a gown she really liked and even if it was far too formal for everyday activities, Rey didn’t care. She wanted to look the way she felt. 

She put on the blue nightgown for the sake of decency then she headed for the bathroom downstairs to take a shower. When she emerged from the bathtub, she put on her underwear and tried on the dress she’d chosen. It was made of dark blue silk. Its texture caressed her skin tentatively when she wore it. It was high-necked and had shoulder pads that made Rey look taller than she actually was and she liked it. An intricate abstract pattern was embroidered on the side, over the hip, a marvelous harmony of bright colors that seemed to burst from nothingness like a chromatic explosion that invaded the rest of the dark surface. 

Rey had to contort to button up the dress, then she looked at herself again in the mirror. She regretted not bringing some make-up with her. She wanted to look her best when she met her lover again. Still, even though she usually was very self-conscious, she admitted that she looked quite lovely. Her cheeks were faintly flushed, her eyes sparkled with confidence and the corners of her lips were pulled up in a persistent smile. 

When she arrived in the kitchen, there was a breakfast laid on the counter, and Rey knew that Kylo Ren had prepared it for her. She eagerly drank the hot chocolate and ate the delicious Danish roll, hot and creamy just like she liked it. There were also fruits and when Rey took an apple in her hand, she saw the reflection of a dark silhouette lurking at the entrance, just like the first day she came in here.

This time, however, instead of startled, she ran towards him and nestled herself into the crooks of his arms. She wrapped her tinier arms around his chest, too broad for her fingers to touch, and draw circles with her hands over his back affectionately.

“Thank you!” she whispered, nuzzling her face against his chest and he hummed in response.

Thus snuggled against him, she felt at home. She felt a warmth spreading from her stomach to the rest of her body until the very tips of her nerves crackled with pleasure.

“I wish I could stay here with you forever”, she confessed.

At these words, she sensed Kylo Ren stiffen. She felt as if she had fallen suddenly from the clouds and landed back into reality. She pulled away to look at him, a deep frown twisting her brow. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, alarmed. 

“Nothing. 

\- You...you don’t want me to stay...but...you asked me to stay!”

Rey took two steps away from him. All her doubts, all her insecurities came back with a vengeance. She regretted bitterly trusting him. Perhaps, after all, he turned out to be like any other man she had met before. Now that he had had his way with her, he wouldn’t need her anymore. 

“Rey, you misunderstand! I don’t want you to give up on your life! I want you to keep on going!” He reacted and his voice showed a genuine concern. 

He was obviously distraught by her reaction as he tried to take her in his arms again, but she moved further away from him.  

“Why do you always do this? Every time I feel you getting closer, you push me away!” she shouted at him, her voice trembling with emotion. 

Sadness made her lips quiver but she refused to cry. She resisted, her eyes burning with unshed tears. 

Kylo Ren was on her and she couldn’t get away from him when her back touched the counter. He wrapped his powerful arms around her and held her so tightly, as though he was afraid she might fly away. 

“My love, my love” he whispered repeatedly in her ear while cupping her head and nestling it under his chin. 

He rocked her between his arms and the motion added to his words had a soothing effect on her. Soon, she relaxed and she felt warmth invading her senses again. It had, however, a hint of bittersweetness.

“I want to stay with you. I can still live even if I remain here with you. 

\- But, it won’t be living, Rey.  
\- You don’t want me to stay. Is that it? Answer me!  
\- I...I want to be with you, every minute, every second left for me to live, but it would be selfish.  
\- No. No! I want it, too. You can’t decide what is right for me or not! It is my choice to make.  
\- Rey, I am sorry! I have already decided for both of us”.

The very moment he uttered these words, Rey heard a terrible noise coming from elsewhere in the house. Kylo Ren released his hold on her and turned around, listening carefully. He seemed tense. 

“What is it?” she asked, a bit nervous.  

“I’ll go see. Stay here!” he instructed before leaving the kitchen. 

Even if the mysterious noise frightened her, Rey had no intention to obey to him. She followed him out of the room, though she couldn’t catch up with him. She didn’t know where he headed to and she instead followed her instincts. 

As if her feet knew the way, she went straight to the “Cabinet of wonders”. The door was ajar and she pushed it carefully, her eyes widening in horror when she saw what had happened. A whole cabinet, the last one she still hadn’t examined had fallen, its content shattered broken on the floor. At first, she thought she had something to do with it, but she clearly remembered the events of the previous day and became persuaded that it wasn’t her fault. She had left the room in order and closed the door behind her, like she usually did, before going to the bedroom. And now...Now a whole part of Kylo Ren’s collection was laying on the floor, destroyed. 

The fragments of broken glass cracked under her feet when she stepped inside. She stooped to examine the shattered objects. There were cameras, old Leica, Yashika and Pentax models, that got dismantled during the fall. Camera film canisters were scattered around the room.  Books were bent under the cabinet, vinyl discs broken. A gramophone was the most damaged objects, its horn had been bent into an unrecognizable shape. A box laid open and Rey reached with her trembling hand to grab its content. It was a heavy sheathed mounted dagger and she examined it, perplexed. The weapon had nothing to do with the rest of the collection. 

Rey felt horribly saddened by the sight of all these precious objects completely destroyed. She knew now that they meant so much more to Kylo Ren than a simple ensemble of precious artifacts. They were testimonies of a personal history and it seemed like an entire part of his memories had been wiped away. 

A tear fell over Rey’s cheek and she quickly wiped it with the sleeve of her borrowed dress. She had to remain strong and go look for Kylo Ren to tell him what had happened, although she dreaded his reaction. She feared he might accuse her of causing the incident and use it to chase her away. 

Her heart seemed to constrict inside her chest as she climbed the stairs and headed for his room. She knocked softly on the door and said: 

“Kylo, something happened to your collection. You have to come and see”.

She winced at how detached she sounded, but she was actually holding back her emotions. It pained her so much to know how much he had lost. 

There was no answer and she couldn’t hear any sound signaling his presence in the room. 

Rey wondered where he had gone and searched around the house for him to no avail. She called for him, running around in increasing panic. He had disappeared the same way he did yesterday. 

“The basement!” Rey though almost instinctively. She ran towards the door that led to the lower level, but this time, it was closed. She tried to force the lock open, clenching her teeth fiercely, but it wouldn’t yield. 

She had had enough! Rey remembered seeing an ax outside the house yesterday, and before properly considering how reckless her actions were, she went to get it and came back to smash the door open. Before striking the first blow, she stopped to reflect on its possible consequences, but Kylo Ren’s words echoed in her mind. 

“I have already decided for both of us!” 

It unnerved her immensely and her lips twitched with rage when she stroked the doorknob with the ax. It fell loudly on the floor, a metallic bang resounding in the house. It was dark inside and she searched for the switch to turn the flickering light on. 

Rey went down the stairs, the ax still in her hands and made way for the wooden wall she suspected concealed a secret room. She stuck her ear to the surface and when she didn’t hear anything, she attacked it, chopping through the wood. She was sweating and her muscles ached all through. Hair wisps stuck to her forehead when she finally cut a hole wide enough for her to slip inside. The dress didn’t allow her to move properly, but she managed to get through. 

A darkroom! Rey found herself standing in a photographer’s workshop. A red light illuminated the equipment neatly arranged over two high counters, on both sides of the small room. There were different pieces of equipment: an enlarger, stacks of paper and various tools on one side. On the other, she saw basins for developing and fixing the photos. A few sheets were still hanging on a rope over her head, and carefully, she reached her hand to take one. 

When she saw the picture, Rey breath caught in her throat. Panic, indignation, incomprehension, all fought to take control while she froze, her own eyes staring back at her from the photograph. 

It was her, undoubtedly her, standing there, with a wide smile, before a mural, her arms wrapped around a man whose face was horribly smudged. She couldn’t tell if it has been done on purpose or not, but there was no way she could identify him this way. The strangest thing was that she had no memory of that moment. 

Rey’s fingers squeezed the edges of the photo, nearly tearing it. She bit her lower lip so hard she tasted blood. Throwing the first picture over the counter, she reached for the others still hanging by the rope. She was on each one of them, smiling, next to a man whose face remained hidden. She knew, deep down, that it was him, Kylo Ren. It looked like him, tall and broad-shouldered. 

Her head hurt so much. She screamed in horror and pulled at her hair, her ears ringing loudly as she tried to remember something, anything. She didn’t recognize any of the photographies and she started panting, hyperventilating even, sensing a panic attack approaching. 

She left the darkroom in a hurry and climbed the stairs as quickly as she could. 

“Kylo!” she screamed, begging for his help. 

She heard a sound coming from the kitchen and she ran towards it. There was indeed someone there. It was Finn. 

Without a word, she threw herself into his arms. 

“Rey! What’s wrong?” he inquired as she started crying, her head over his shoulder. 

“Oh, Finn!” she managed to say between sobs. 

“My God! What happened? 

\- I don’t know, Finn! I don’t know what is happening here?  
\- Did he… Did he hurt you?  
\- No! He… I think I am losing my mind.  
\- Babydoll! I think you should leave this place. I will drive you away, okay?  
\- But…  
\- Something is obviously not right. Until you figure it out, you should stay away. Alright?  
\- I don’t know...I am afraid.  
\- Don’t worry, Rey. I am here. I am here”.

Finn caressed Rey’s arms fondly, providing her with much-needed reassurance and affection. She felt herself calming down and his advice sounded more and more reasonable.  

“Do you want to go now?” he asked her and she pulled away to meet his gaze, then nodded in agreement. 

He took her hand in his and lead her to the housedoor. When he opened it, she sensed someone going down the stairs. 

“You are going!” said Kylo Ren as he watched them both leaving his house. 

In his voice, she could hear distress, a deep deep chagrin. Finn pulled at her arm, but Rey couldn’t avert her eyes from the dark form that stood at the middle of the stairs. 

“Kylo, I can’t go on like this. Please, please, tell me what’s going on. 

\- Rey!” Finn tried to convince her to follow him, but she freed herself from his grip and walked towards the house owner.

“Kylo, I beg you. I want to stay here with you, but I can’t if you refuse to tell me. I...I have seen the darkroom. I have seen the photos. 

\- You will soon know.  
\- What?  
\- The truth”.

Rey’s lifted her eyebrows in surprise. Finn came to stand next to her and she turned her head to the side to look at him: 

“Are we going?” he asked, though his eyes revealed that he already knew the answer. 

She only avoided his gaze as a response and he breathed deeply. 

“If you ever do anything to her, I will know”, he addressed Kylo Ren. “If you ever touch one of her hairs, I will come back and make you pay!” 

He hugged Rey and caressed her cheek, wiping away her remaining tears. 

“Be careful, Babydoll”, he instructed, a sad smile on his lips. 

She kissed him tenderly on the cheek and held his hand until their fingers parted and he disappeared behind the door. 

Rey looked up to Kylo Ren who had been watching the whole scene carefully while it unfolded before him.

“Tell me then!” she demanded, but he turned around and went back upstairs. 

“Wait! You promised!” she yelled, outaged. “You lied!

\- It is up to you to discover the truth.  
\- No! You said…”

He ignored her and she heard him going inside his room and closing the door behind him. She screamed then, in frustration. She was so angry she wanted to break everything in the house and regretted leaving the ax in the basement. 

Suddenly, she remembered something. She had seen photographs before, the first day she came to Kylo Ren’s house. 

Rey went back to the “Cabinet of Wonders”. The content of the fallen cabinet was still scattered everywhere, but she ignored it as she went straight for the desk. She opened the first drawer and took the envelope containing the pictures of landscapes she had seen before, but when she took them out, she discovered that they have changed. They were no longer photos of simple sceneries. She appeared in every single one of them. 

The bundle slipped from her hands. Nothing no longer made any sense. She clearly remembered seeing these same photos a few days ago. 

“It’s impossible!” she whispered, staring vacantly into the void when the walls started shaking around her. 

She gasped loudly. An earthquake! How could it be? She ran out of the room and her feet brought her again, of their own volition, towards her lover. 

As she hurried towards the stairs, she saw the doors of the house opening suddenly at the same time. She screamed and quickened her pace to reach Kylo Ren’s room, but when she arrived at the corridor that would lead her there, she realized it had become far longer than it used to be. The door seemed so far away and the walls twisted and unfurled into a throbbing spiral. 

The floor moved under her feet and she was thrown against the wall. She saw that every single door in the house was now open apart from the one that led to Kylo Ren’s room. Rey leaned against the wall then pushed forward, persistent in her effort to reach him. The walls started cracking under her fingers and she heard again voices calling her name. She landed finally on the door and it was as if the world went upside down. 

She stood over the door frame and reached for the knob to open it. The red room appeared and she saw Kylo Ren laying on the floor. No rule of physics seemed to apply anymore and she jumped down inside the room. He saw her and reached to grab her hand and she knew then that she was floating. 

“Kylo! What is going on?” she screamed, her voice muffled by renewed cries. 

“Rey! You have to be strong!

\- I don’t understand. How could this be happening?  
\- Soon you will be free, my love!  
\- Free?  
\- We have to proceed with the ritual or it will be too late!  
\- What? The ritual! It was about me, all along, isn’t?  
\- Yes.  
\- I am the other woman!  
\- Yes, my love! Don’t be scared! Use the dagger”.

Rey looked down and discovered that she had the dagger in her hand despite her not remembering bringing it with her. 

“You have to stab me!  
\- No!” she shouted, tightening her hold around his hand as she floated up.

“I have to take your place! 

\- No! I won’t do it! I won’t leave you!  
\- Rey, if we don’t proceed with the ritual, we will both be lost.  
\- It can’t be!”

She heard a cracking noise and saw Kylo Ren’s mask splitting in half, then it fell off and finally revealed to her his long-forgotten face. 

“Ben!” she murmured when she recognized it. 

It was him, his deep dark eyes, his wide mouth, and long twisted nose, but a scar dissected his face in half and it pulled at her heartstrings to see it. 

She wanted to touch him, to caress his scarred cheek and chase away that sad look from his eyes, but she still had the dagger in her hand. Like in a dream, or rather a nightmare, she tried to throw it away, but it kept coming back. She whined in a mix of frustration and horror. 

“You have to do it, Rey”, Ben told her in his deep and suave natural voice. 

“I won’t!” she protested. 

“I did all this for you, Rey. I want you to keep living. Promise me you will go on living after I am gone. 

\- No!” she screamed at the top of her lungs when she felt him grab her armed hand and pull it towards him.

When she felt the blade digging inside his chest towards his heart, he kissed her and she saw the earnest smile on his face as he fell down and let go of her hands, letting her fly away. 

Rey was pulled towards the sky as she cried his name. Soon, he became but a small point in the horizon, followed by the house, the woods, the city, until she was surrounded by the heavens and she looked around, searching for a meaning to all this. 

She pushed forward as if she was swimming in the sky, her sobs echoing around her.

“Ben. Oh, Ben!” she cried again and again until she saw strange forms appearing around her. 

They reminded her of the geometric patterns she saw when she closed her eyes too tightly. Suddenly, a line of light appeared and she flew towards it, realizing she was in her own eye. 

When she opened her eyelids, she discovered that she was on a hospital bed, surrounded by doctors and nurses. She tried to lift her arm or say something, anything, but she had no strength left in her body. 

“She’s come back!” remarked a woman and Rey saw another one using a syringe to inject a liquid in the perfusion tube. 

She wanted to protest but she fell unconscious again before she could gather her forces. 

When she woke up again, she felt a hand tenderly holding hers. She thought it might be Ben’s, but when she opened her eyes, she realized it was an old elegant lady sitting next to her bed. 

“Leia”. 

Rey’s sounded awfully feeble, but it was enough to make the woman snap her head and look at her. 

“Rey! You are awake! 

\- Where am I?” Rey asked before a cough shook her frail body.

“You should rest, my dear. You have been through a lot!” 

Rey could see how bony her own hands were. 

“Where am I?” she still asked, even though every word, every syllable demand a huge effort of her. 

“You are at a clinic, Rey. There has been...an accident”. 

Leia seemed terribly saddened when she uttered these words, but she didn’t allow herself to flinch. She forced herself to smile at Rey and pushed a few hair strands behind her ear in a motherly gesture. 

“Where is Ben?” Rey inquired and his mother looked away towards the window. “Leia? 

\- He is...He is gone.  
\- No!”

Rey started panting and her lungs ached around her throbbing heart. 

“Han! He was with us!” she remembered and her remark made Leia stand up and go to the window, trying to hide her distress. 

“Leia! Tell me!

\- He is dead”.

Leia’s voice sounded devoid of emotion and as Rey felt herself falling into a well of despair, Ben mother’s came back next to her and placed her hand against her heart. 

“But you are alive, Rey! That’s what counts!” 

Leia used to be so lively and energetic, but it looked like she had aged all of a sudden. 

Rey recalled the last day she saw Ben. 

_ They were waiting for his father by the car and he seemed very nervous.  _

_ “What’s wrong?” she asked him.  _

_ “Nothing! _

_\- Don’t tell me you are still trying to impress your father”, she teased him playfully._   
_\- That’s not it, Rey… There he is”._

_ Han arrived with open arms and gathered Rey in a hug, lifting her off the floor.  _

_ “How can you get prettier every time I see you?” Han asked as she giggled.  _

_ “Will you stop that?” complained Ben while rolling his eyes.  _

_ “Why so snappy, Benjamin? Aren’t you happy your father and girlfriend get along so well?  _

_\- Too well, if you ask me._   
_\- Be grateful you found a girlfriend who is way out of your league”._

_ Han ruffled his son’s hair even though he was taller than him and Rey laughed at the view.  _

_ “Yeah! Thank you very much, Dad!”  _

_ As they got inside the car, Ben and Rey at the front and Han sitting at the back, they started chatting idly. Han was telling them how his new dog, BB-8, was different from his old one, Chewie. He was obviously very attached to his old pet and feared he would get jealous of the new family addition, but it turned out they got along pretty well.  _

_ The discussion diverted on Rey and Ben’s holiday plans.  _

_ “We haven’t decided yet, Dad. Besides, I am a bit busy right now with the publication of my new book.  _

_\- What? You won’t offer your beautiful girlfriend the holiday she deserves? Tell him, Rey! Tell him you want to go on holiday!_   
_\- It’s alright, Han. I understand”, Rey intervened, although she smiled broadly back at him through the mirror._

_ “She wants to go to the Fidjis, Ben. Don’t you, Rey?” Han insisted and her cheeks turned crimson.  _

_ “The Fidjis, huh?” Ben smiled as he kept his eyes on the road while driving.  _

_ “Yes”, she confirmed. “I always wanted to go there. I know, one day, I will go there”.  _

_ “It would be a great destination for a honeymoon, isn’t it Ben?”, Han teased his son.  _

_ “Dad! _

_\- What? Don’t tell me you don’t intend to propose to her?_   
_\- I… We haven’t… For God’s sake! Way to ruin the surprise, Dad!”_

_ Rey snapped her head to look at Ben and he bent over to retrieve something from the glove compartment. He had to search around to get it.  _

_ “What is it, Ben?”, Rey, her heartbeat quickening as she fathomed what he was intending to do.  _

_ “I wanted to wait for the right moment when we got to the cabin, but since Dad is such a blabbermouth... _

_\- That’s no way to talk about your own father!_   
_\- You are, Dad, and you ruined the surprise._   
_\- Ben, I…”_

_ Rey saw the jewelry box in his hand before it happened. All she could remember is that they crashed into something that sent the car rolling around. Time seemed to slow down as the windshield was shattered into a million pieces that went to cut her boyfriend’s face. Her own head bumped against the door and she fell unconscious, her last thought being that she would never see Ben’s beloved face again.  _

A few days after waking up from her coma, Rey felt strong enough to leave the room. She demanded to see Ben, now that she knew that he was also in a comatose state. Leia helped her walk towards his room and when she arrived, a nurse brought her a chair to sit next to him. 

Rey looked down at her boyfriend’s face. He had a scar, just like the one she saw when she was trapped in her mind. It was the last proof she needed to know that it all really happened. 

Leia had explained to her that she wasn’t at a regular clinic. Ben had brought her there, to The First Industries clinic, because its owner, Dr. Snoke, claimed to have developed a groundbreaking procedure that allowed patients who were in a deep coma to emerge back from their state. 

When she asked for more details, the employees, nurses, and doctors alike proved very elusive. The few information they provided her with sounded more like new age nonsense than proper modern medicine. 

Apparently, Ben had come out practically unharmed from the accident when she had fallen into a coma and Han had lost his life. Broken, eaten by regret, her boyfriend had done everything in his power to save her, including giving all he got to this Dr. Snoke so he would bring her back. For the procedure to succeed, Ben had to dive inside Rey’s mind and switch places with her. 

It sounded more like something she would read in one of Ben’s favorite sci-fi books than real life, but apparently, it worked. She was now awake, watching him as he remained deeply asleep. 

“Can’t we bring him back?” she asked the senior doctor when he had come to visit her earlier and witness his success. 

“No!” Snoke had answered as if he were talking to a capricious infant. 

“Why not?

\- It is a very expensive procedure.  
\- You would let him die, just because we couldn’t pay for your procedure?  
\- The procedure can turn out very costly for us too. Besides, Miss Rey, Mister Solo has made a decision. He gave his life for yours. You must respect his choice”.

Rey was full of anger at the old man, but also at Ben. 

“Ben, how could you do this to me?” she said to his unmoving form laying over the bed. “How could you think I could go on without you?” 

The tears she withheld all this time came pouring out of her eyes and her head fell over his chest, her cries resounding loudly in the room. 

Leia touched her shoulder but it brought her no consolation. Rey remembered his words, how he asked her to keep on living. 

“I can’t! Ben, I can’t live without you!” she answered him belatedly, hoping he might hear her, deep down in his own internal world. 

She came back, every day, to see him. She asked Leia to bring some books from his library and she read to him passages from his favorite authors: Tolkien, Bradbury, Wul. She used to despise this kind of literature until she met him. 

Rey remembered the first time they had met, in a bookstore. 

_ She was there to consult their rich artbooks section and he was attending a signing for one of his books. She was intrigued to see so many people gathered to buy his latest publication and get it signed by him, and she noticed that all through the session, he kept stealing glances at her. At first, she thought she was imagining things. She had no self-confidence when it came to men and she doubted a famous author would be interested in her, but as soon as he was done answering the questions of his eager admirers, he came to talk to her.  _

_ “Beardsley!” he remarked as she was leafing through a book on the decadent artist.  _

_ A blush crept over her cheeks and reached her ears and she kicked herself for lacking the poise of a confident woman.  _

_ “Yeah! I really like his lithographs! _

_\- They are a bit erotic, aren’t they?”_

_ He asked and instantly seemed to regret his remark.  _

_ “I mean… I don’t know him very well. I am more of a sci-fi nerd. Are you… an artist?” _

_ Rey hesitated before answering, although something in his clumsy ways made her really like him.  _

_ “No. I work for a company that evaluates artworks and precious artifacts for its clients. I have to know a lot about Art History to properly do my job.  _

_\- Oh! That’s very interesting!_   
_\- Do you have an art collection yourself?_   
_\- No, but I might start one if it means it will allow me to see you again”._

_ Rey smiled at him. He was obviously trying to channel a smooth and confident persona he didn’t have. He seemed a bit embarrassed and didn’t seem to know what to do with his huge hands, crossing and uncrossing his arms, shoving them in his pockets and so on.  _

_ “Your name is Ben Solo. _

_\- Yes. How did you…”_

_ Rey pointed at the poster next to the table he sat at during the book signing.  _

_ “Of course”, Ben rolled his eyes and she laughed, enjoying being the confident one for once in this exchange.  _

_ “I am Rey.  _

_\- Rey? It’s beautiful. It suits you”._

_ They both smiled shyly at each other and it was she who finally broke the silence:  _

_ “Would you like to have a coffee, sometime.  _

_\- Yes! Please, yes! I mean, I’d love that! When will you be free?_   
_\- Hum… Why don’t you give me your number and I will call you?_   
_\- My number! Yes. I will go get it. It’s a new phone, so I still didn’t memorize it. Please, stay here. I will be right back”._

_ She watched him as he ran towards one of the Bookstore employees to ask for his stuff and she giggled when she saw him weaving at her as he followed him into the backstore.  _

Rey kissed Ben’s brow as she recalled his luminous smile that first time they met. It was already dark outside the clinic room and she had stayed far later today then she used to. 

A man wearing white scrubs appeared in the room and it didn’t take long before Rey recognized him. 

“Finn? 

\- Oh God! I am sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. You are...Rey. You look well.  
\- What are you doing here?  
\- I work here. Sorry, I don’t think we met before, did we? I mean, I remember you arriving here, but we didn’t get to talk before, isn’t?  
\- But, I have met you, in my mind”.

Rey’s eyes widened at the realization that Finn and Hux were the only two persons she had never met before the accident and that she saw in her mind. 

“He was the one who brought you there”, she said, suddenly putting the pieces together. 

“What?

\- He wanted me to meet you. It’s a clue!  
\- I’m afraid you are losing me!  
\- Finn, you have met Ben before he went into a coma, right?  
\- Yes, we talked a bit, when I came to change your serum bags.  
\- You can help me! You can help me bring him back!” she declared triumphantly, knocking her chair over when she stood up and rushed towards Finn.

“Sorry, Miss Rey, but I don’t know what you mean. 

\- We can go back inside his mind and save him!  
\- I don’t know how it works! I am just a nurse!  
\- We will figure it out!  
\- I will get in trouble.  
\- You have met him, Finn! You know he is a good person. He deserves to live. If there is a chance, the slightest chance we could bring him back, wouldn’t you take it?”

Rey looked at him with beseeching eyes and he knew he had lost already. 

“Oh, Damn!” he cursed while his shoulder fell in discouragement. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, everyone. I had *Hitchcock's Psycho theme* an exam!
> 
> I am so nervous about this chapter! I'd really love to know your opinions. 
> 
> Kudos to White_elf who figured out that Rey was actually "the other woman". Did you suspect the truth, too? 
> 
> There will be a change of tone staring from the next chapter and I really hope you won't lose interest because of that. How do you imagine Ben's internal world will turn out to be? 
> 
> My Tumblr if you want to say hi: lastmouseleft.tumblr.com


	10. Ben Solo. Day 0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tries to figure out a way to save Ben.

“Now, Miss Rey! We have discussed this over and over again. You have to sign the nondisclosure agreement if you want to continue visiting Mister Solo”, Hux insisted, his jaw clenched in an effort to control his emotions, his face as red as his hair. 

Rey considered the lawyer with an intentionally candid demeanor. Inside, she was fuming, but she kept an air of absolute detachment, which, she knew, further played on his nerves.

“I don’t need the authorization to visit my fiancé”, she remarked, an argument she kept repeating despite the menacing looks she was getting from the attorney.

“Again, Miss Rey, you can always see Mister Solo during the visiting hours. However, if you want to stay longer with him, as you do, you have to sign the agreement. This is a private clinic! We have rules!”

The air felt hot as it came out of her nostrils. Inside her, burned a furnace menacing to explode, but she bit her tongue and repeated to herself, like a mantra:

“I can do this! I can do this!”

Indeed, Hux might be a bit skinny, he still exhaled an intimidating air when he was angry. He wasn’t much different from the version she saw in her mind when she was in a coma (her “Mind World” as she called it) and she considered how good a judge of character Ben was to have imagined him like that.

“Why does Dr. Snoke refuse to meet me?” insisted Rey yet again, bringing the lawyer to the verge of fury.

“He is busy!

\- Busy?  
\- Yes.  
\- I have to see him. It is important!  
\- You say that, but I fail to see what you could tell him more than you have told the psychiatrists.  
\- I have to ask him something...about the procedure.  
\- Again! It is confidential! You want to see Dr. Snoke? Sign the agreement!”

Hux smashed the contract over the table, in front of Rey, then dropped a pen, no longer bothering to hide his disdain. 

Rey looked down at the stack of paper, slightly raising her eyebrow.  She took a deep breath and, without uttering another single word, she stood up and headed for the door.

“You won’t be allowed to see him if you persist in refusing”, she heard the lawyer shout.

Without turning to face him, she replied:

“I am still in convalescence, Mister Hux. I am a patient. I am allowed to be here.

\- But it won’t be for long!”

Satisfaction ringed loudly in his voice. Still, his words were undeniably true. Rey clenched her teeth and noticed how her hand trembled when she reached for the doorknob. She left the lawyer's office and quickly walked away, trying to put as much distance between them as she could. 

For more than a week, she had been forced to meet him and he kept pressuring her to sign that wretched nondisclosure agreement. Leia revealed to her that she had had to sign it herself to be allowed to see her own son, which revolted Rey to no end. She couldn’t believe that it was legal, but Ben has given up all his rights just to ensure that she would get the experimental procedure developed by First Industries.

When she arrived in his room, Rey leaned to placed a kiss on her Ben's forehead, like she had been doing every day.

“How are you today, My Love? I have brought you a book you like”.

She sat on the chair next to the bed and produced the book from her bag. She started reading it, her voice covering the repetitive bits of the medical contraptions that kept him alive.

The book was “Flatland”, by Edwin Abbott Abbott. It was one of Ben’s favorites, though Rey always found too absurd to really appreciate. She frowned repeatedly when she got to a particularly weird passage of the story. Still, she persisted in keeping an even and soothing reading voice.  Sometimes, she offered a comment and asked Ben for his opinion, as if they were chatting like they used to, before the accident. 

Eventually, Rey started to feel a bit hungry. She had to interrupt her reading with a deep sigh when the gurgling sounds coming from her stomach became too loud to ignore. She sat the book on the bedside table and leaned to kiss her lover’s lips. 

“I will be right back!” she promised, her voice soft and reassuring. 

She joined the clinic’s canteen. It was richly decorated and the choice of dishes was worthy of a restaurant. Rey sat alone, as she usually did when she wasn’t accompanied by Leia, and eat her meal.  It was nothing, though, like the delicacies she savored while she was stuck in her own mind. She often wondered if she was the one who imagined them or if it was actually Ben who brought them with him. 

When she met with the psychiatrists, Rey had a thousand and one questions to ask them and she soon realized they could provide her only with a few answers. The procedure was still new. She soon came to know that hers was actually one of the few successful ones. Other patients remained stuck and couldn’t emerge from their coma. 

“Why didn’t Ben tell me who he was? Why did he wear a mask?” She had asked the group of doctors, all sitting on the same side of the conference table in front of her. 

“Many patients have rejected the presence of “intruders” when they recognized them. Their mind has set a defense mechanism against any sort of anomaly. 

\- But I know Ben. He is a normal part of my world. How could I have considered him as an anomaly?  
\- Any mistake, any slightly unexpected reaction could have triggered a rejection. He had to be prudent”.

Rey found the doctor’s explanations nebulous and unconvincing and she soon realized they were nearly as ignorant as she was. The only one who seemed to know anything was the director of the clinic, Dr. Snoke. However, since he had visited her that time after she woke up from her coma, she hadn’t been allowed to meet him again. 

When Rey finished her pudding dessert, she made her way to the outdoor garden where she sat quietly on a bench, awaiting the arrival of her friend. Finn soon joined her.

Real Finn was very much like the one she saw in her mind, just as friendly and caring, except he lacked the sass and self-confidence she had grown to expect from him. She revealed to him one day how Ben had imagined him. 

“I think Mr. Solo has too high an opinion of me!” he snorted, though Rey could see that he was flattered. 

“Maybe he saw something in you. In fact, I think I can see it too”. 

Finn straight up blushed when he heard Rey’s compliment. He rubbed his hands, then looked up to the sky with a smile. 

Rey and Finn quickly became as friendly as they were in Rey’s mind world. She had Leia’s love and support, but she also needed a friendly shoulder to lean on. Finn was the only person she could speak freely to and together, they tried to conceive a plan to save Ben. 

“What I don’t understand is why Ben had to take my place”, wondered Rey for the umpteenth time.

“I don’t know”, confessed Finn. 

As a nurse, he had very few intel regarding the procedure that Rey underwent. He had tried to gather around some information, but it wasn’t enough for them to know how to proceed. 

Yet still, Rey had no doubt that there was a way to bring Ben back. She was absolutely determined, even if it meant she had to perform the procedure herself. 

“What if you get stuck?” worried Finn. “All he had done would have been for nothing!”

He was right. It was Ben’s own decision to give his life for Rey’s, but she refused to give up. He was in a coma, but it wasn’t for “natural” causes. He had survived the accident and he had been put into a vegetative state artificially. Surely, there was a way he could come out of the coma that the clinic’s staff refused to reveal to her. 

As they sat together on the bench, discussing the clues that they had gathered until now, Rey spotted a young woman, through the glass that separated the garden from the inside. 

“Rose! It’s Rose!” she exclaimed when she recognized her. 

There was a third person Ben had brought to her mind world whom she had totally forgotten. Rose, the delivery girl who had brought her the frozen food. Now, in the real world, she appeared to be wearing medical scrubs. 

“You know her?” asked Finn, a bit startled. 

“Yes! She was there, in my mind! She told me she wanted to be your friend. 

\- What? What does that have to do with anything?  
\- You don’t understand! If Ben introduced her to me, it must have been for a reason.  
\- You think she could help us?  
\- Yes… maybe… What is she? A doctor?  
\- She is an intern, I think.  
\- Do you know her?  
\- I… just a bit, I think. You said she wanted to be my friend?  
\- I think she likes you.  
\- What?! Wait, Rey. That’s Ben’s interpretation, let’s not forget. Besides, I am not really into… hum… girls.  
\- I know! You like the cook!  
\- What the hell? How did you… Did I tell you that in your dream?  
\- Mind world! No, but I could see it in your eyes when you spoke about him. Poe, isn’t?  
\- Don’t tell me Ben picked up on that! Am I so obvious?  
\- Finn! Don’t you see? Rose could be the ally we were hoping for”.

Finn seemed a bit forlorn, but Rey was so hopeful she couldn’t bear to see her friend this discouraged when she felt so much joy. She kissed him on the cheek, repeatedly until he burst into laughter. 

“Gosh! Are you all so touchy in England?” he joked. 

\- Not at all! I am the only English girl who likes kissing. That’s why I had to come live in America”.

They both laughed, then fell into a comfortable silence, Rey placing her head on Finn’s shoulder while they contemplated the few colored leaves that still hang on the trees’ branches. 

That afternoon, Rey literally stalked Rose around the clinic. She discovered she had an unexpected talent for sneaking around, and when she noticed the intern stopping at a vending machine, she joined her, feigning innocence. 

“Hello”, Rey greeted her, and Rose knitted her eyebrows curiously. 

“Hello”, she still replied with a gentle smile. 

“I don’t think we have met before. I am Rey. 

- Mr. Solo’s girlfriend. Yes, I know.  
\- Really?  
\- Oh, sorry! I have met Mr. Solo before he… I mean, I know what happened… It’s just…”

Rose cheeks turned red in reaction to her growing embarrassment and Rey had to come to her rescue. 

“Don’t worry about it, please! It’s Rose, isn’t? 

\- How do you…  
\- I haven’t been honest with you. I have actually met you before. I have seen you in my mind when I was in a coma”.

Rose’s eyes widened in shock and the hand holding her cup of coffee trembled slightly. 

“Wow! That’s… Freaky!” she commented. 

“Ben had brought you there, as he did for Finn. 

\- Finn?  
\- Yes.  
\- You know him too?  
\- He is my friend.  
\- Oh!”

Rose looked down and Rey could easily guess the hint of discouragement in her intonation. Still, the young intern smiled at her shyly, scrunching her little nose which made her look quite adorable. 

“We often meet at lunchtime, Finn and I. Would you like to join us?”

Rose seemed completely taken off guard, but her expression brightened as she nodded enthusiastically. 

Rey felt a little bad using Rose’s feelings for Finn this way to get her to help them. She decided she had to clearly expose her motivations to the young woman as soon as she could. 

The next day, when Rose came to join them in the garden, they chatted a bit about what had brought the intern to join the clinic. She explained that she was from China and she had had to take the first job opportunity that presented itself to her, so she could provide for her sister's family. 

She studied neurology, but she had nothing of the complacent attitude of some medical students. It was obvious that she liked Finn, even if he was a nurse. Rose seemed very happy to be in their company. 

Their discussion eventually centered on Dr. Snoke and Rose revealed to Rey and Finn some precious information: 

“I believe he is part of some strange cult”, she confessed a bit grave. 

“A cult?” asked the two friends in unison. 

“The First Order?’ added Rey. 

“I don’t really know. I only met him a few times, and I only got into his office on one occasion. The way he talks… He seems to be very into esoteric stuff”. 

Rey couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It was true. It was actually true! The First Order wasn’t just a figment of her imagination. It was another clue that Ben provided her with so she could help him. She was certain of it. 

“What else can you tell us about him?” asked Rey, a bit too insistently. 

Rose slightly frowned, but still replied: 

“I think it has to do with alchemy… something about equivalent exchange. I heard him a few times talking about it.

\- Equivalent exchange?” Rey wondered.

Suddenly, an idea sprang into her mind. If Dr. Snoke believed in the principle of equivalent exchange, that might be why he insisted Ben would take her place. It might not have any real basis, apart from the beliefs of the clinic’s owner. 

“It means we can bring Ben back, without sacrificing someone else!” she said out loud in triumph. 

“What?” Finn exclaimed. 

“What’s going on?” Rose asked, a bit distraught. 

Rey stood up and went to take the intern’s hands in hers. She took a deep breath then looked straight into the young woman’s eyes. 

“Rose! We need you. Ben and I, we need your help. I believe we can save him. 

\- What? What do you mean?  
\- I think we can bring him back. You could perform the procedure if you help us!  
\- But… I could lose my job!  
\- Please, Rose! I beg you!”

Rey squeezed Rose’s hands while she gazed into her eyes, beseeching her, the power of her emotions overwhelming the intern. 

“I’m sorry, I…

- You know Ben, didn’t you? Do you think he deserves to stay in a coma?  
\- I have never performed the procedure!  
\- But you would know how to do it, right?  
\- Technically… But I don’t have access to the necessary apparatus. Please, Rey, don’t force me to do something I would regret!”

Rose freed herself from Rey’s hold and took a few steps away from her. 

“I can’t help you! I’m sorry!” 

Her voice was barely audible when she said these last words before striding away from the two friends. Rey watched her, her mouth agape, disappointment washing over her like a tide. Finn came to pat her shoulder, reassuringly, before she spun around and hugged him, needing him to fight the sobs that shook her exhausted body. 

When she went back to Ben’s room, Rey thought over and over again about her interaction with Rose. She could see now that she had been two forward with the young woman and she couldn’t blame her for her reaction. She sighed deeply, deciding that a bit of reading would help change her mind.

She had finished “Flatland” and was now reading “The Martian Chronicles” by Ray Bradbury. Rey wasn’t much for Sci-fi, usually, but lately, she had grown to appreciate these stories that Ben enjoyed and talked about so much. They reminded her of him, of his exuberance, of his quirkiness. 

Rey put the book down over her knees and looked down at the still form of her lover. He was there, before her, yet she missed him dearly. She kept remembering their shared moments, the first time he had tried to cook for her and ended up burning his stove, the passion he used to display when he talked about a movie or a book he had read. Even their fights appeared to her like precious memories, now. He was frightful when he got angry, but she quickly learned how to deal with him, and when he came to ask for her forgiveness afterward, slipping under her bed’s sheets and wrapping his strong arms around her while whispering words of love in her ear, she could never resist him. 

She loved him, all of him. She wanted him back. She would do anything to bring him back. 

Rey burst into tears and threw herself over Ben, shaking his shoulders as if she could wake him up. 

“Ben, I miss you! I miss you! Come back to me, please!” she pleaded, but he didn’t respond. 

He was deep into his unflappable sleep. She kissed him, somehow hoping he would wake up like in a fairytale, but his lips felt cold. Rey caressed his face then brought a few hair strands behind his ear. 

He always hated his ears and kept hiding them under his mop of hair. The memory made her smile, despite her reddened eyes and the tears that covered her cheeks. Soon, she was able to calm down and sit back on her chair. 

How delicate and considerate he had been with her when he was with her in her mind world. He had acted with such care and patience. He had had to stay there, waiting, until she could figure out what was really happening to her. He had remained hidden in his red room, waiting for her visit, every day. He must have wanted to touch her, to sweep her off her feet and discard his mask so he could kiss her and love her, just like she wanted to right now. 

Rey remembered the last time they had been together. Had he known that it was the last time they would love each other? 

Rey refused to believe it! She would find a way to help him. There must be a way. 

The next day, Leia came to visit. She revealed that Hux had tried to pressure her to persuade Rey to sign the nondisclosure agreement, which made both women go into a rant against the despicable attorney. 

While they were discussing the matter, Rose appeared in the room. 

“Oh! I didn’t know you had a visitor”, she said before turning on her hills to leave swiftly. 

“Rose, wait!” Rey called her while abandoning Leia to follow her. 

When she reached the hallway, Rose was waiting for her. She seemed preoccupied and a bit hesitant. 

“What is it?” asked Rey, unable to conceal the hope that the intern’s visit instilled. 

“I have thought about what you said… I might be able to help you. I can give you information about the procedure. But you have to promise, you will never mention my name if you get caught!

\- Yes. Yes! I promise you. I will do my best to protect you! Thank you, Rose!  
\- I think there is a procedure scheduled in two days. If you manage to sneak in the morning, after the apparatus would have been set and before the arrival of the staff, you might be able to get inside Mr. Solo’s head.  
\- Wouldn’t be too short?    
\- That’s the problem. Mr. Solo stayed with you more than a week before he could bring you back. I don’t know if it would work in such a short amount of time.  
\- Could we not use the apparatus after the procedure?  
\- We have no idea how long it would take, this time. Would you be prepared to wait?”

Rey considered her options. She could wait as Rose suggested, but she had no idea if she would be allowed to come back to the clinic if she didn’t sign Hux’s contract. If she did, she would never be able to reveal what was happening in the clinic and she intended to use the information as leverage if she ever got caught while helping Ben. It might be reckless, but she had to act quickly. 

“I think we should do it”, she said, a strange warmth spreading inside her chest. She was confident she made the right decision. 

She and Finn sat with Rose at lunch so she could give them the necessary instructions to perform the procedure. There was apparently a machine used to connect the minds of two individuals. Both had to be in a dormant state, the intruder usually sedated. 

The intruder had to build a reference point, a place where they could lure the patient and help them figure out on their own that they were trapped into an illusion of their own mind’s making, just like Ben had done with the house in the woods. The idea was not to rush the patient, for the intruder could be rejected if their actions revealed them as not being part of the illusion. 

Rey thought deeply about these revelations. She had known that Ben had been hiding his identity from her behind a mask for a reason and that each time she had noticed something odd, the world had indeed started shaking around her until he would help her regain her calm. How was she to help him though when she only had a few hours available? 

Finn agreed to help her, even if it meant losing his job. 

“I will help you find a new one”, Rey promised. 

“They will sue me to death!

\- They won’t! I didn’t sign their nondisclosure agreement and I am sure they won’t like it if I told the press what was happening here.  
\- How can you be certain?  
\- I am not! But we have to do it, Finn. We have to save him.  
\- I agree, but… aren’t you afraid? What if something wrong happens? I might not be able to save you!  
\- It’s okay, Finn. I will do whatever it takes. I owe it to him”.

When the day came when they had to burst into action, Rey was yet again called to Hux’s office. She reluctantly agreed to meet him after she instructed Finn to get Ben to the operation block where she would join them later. 

“Dr. Snoke has agreed to meet you”, Hux declared, surprising Rey. 

“He did? 

\- Yes, he thinks he can reach… an agreement with you.  
\- What do you mean?  
\- If you allow us to perform some more tests on you, he might allow you to see Mr. Solo as often as you like.  
\- But he won’t help him, then.  
\- Help him?  
\- Bring him back, as he did for me.  
\- Miss Rey, I am afraid it doesn’t work like that.  
\- You know he is wrong, don’t you? He has developed this miraculous procedure, but his beliefs don’t make any sense.  
- Dr. Snoke is a serious scientist. I don’t know what beliefs you are referring to”.  

Rey’s nostrils flared in anger. She had had enough of the lawyer’s dodgy attitude. She stood up and hit the desk with her clenched fists. 

“Have you no consideration for human life? You act like a lackey to this man, and you choose to let a person perish just because you are paid to defend his interests? 

\- I think you have to leave!” Hux declared, visibly shaken and reaching for the phone.

Rey knew that he was trying to call security and acted on pure instinct when she grabbed the receiver before he did and hit him in the head with it. 

She watched the lawyer in horror as he fell over his desk, unconscious. She put her hand over her mouth, her other hand still holding the phone. 

In another part of the clinic, Finn was striding around the room, while awaiting Rey’s arrival nervously. 

“Come on, Rey!” he said through clenched teeth. 

Time was passing by and she didn’t show up. He set everything ready so they would start the procedure as soon as she arrived. 

When he started hearing a commotion outside, he knew that there wasn’t much time left. Finn looked down at Ben and passed his trembling hand over his face. What he was about to do was utterly stupid, still, he knew he couldn’t bear to live with the knowledge that he had had the opportunity to save a man’s life and didn’t act upon it. 

With shaking hands, he turned the medical apparatus on, placed the electrodes against his head and laid down on the bed next to Ben’s. He grabbed the syringe full of sedative and took a deep breath, eyeing the door one last time to see if Rey would finally appear. 

“Well! See you on the other side, Solo”, he said before plunging the needle in his own arm. 

It didn’t take long before the noise of the medical machines faded away and he found himself in silent darkness. The only sound he could hear was his own breathing. Suddenly, a light started flickering above him and he saw that he was in a closed compartment in the company of a few men all dressed in white. 

Panic started taking control of him when he noticed that he was dressed in the same outfit. His arms and legs were covered by some sort of armor and he had a helmet on that didn’t allow him to see much. He held a weapon in his hands, a kind of gun that didn’t resemble anything he had seen before. 

When he started to wriggle about, one man turned around and hit him with the elbow, just enough to get his attention. 

“Calm down, Eight-seven! We’re nearly there!” said the soldier, for that’s how he looked like. 

“What did you call me?” Finn asked, but his question was covered by the loud noise of their landing. 

Finn, indeed, felt that the compartment they were in had landed on some solid ground when it had been somehow floating before. A door opened before them and he heard someone order them to move forward. 

He found himself in a desert village, surrounded by men dressed in the same armor as he was who were attacking some defenseless startled creatures. Or at least he thought so at first until he realized that there were snipers hiding and shooting at them. 

His survival instincts kicked in and he ran to hide behind a hut. There, he found a woman and she shouted in horror when she saw him. 

“Don”t scream! I’m not going to hurt you”, he told her and she didn’t wait for him to prove it as she ran away in panic. 

Finn tried to get rid of his helmet, but he couldn’t figure out how to remove it. He stayed there, curled up while the battle raged around him. 

There were flying ships moving above him and a particularly terrifying one soon appeared and landed not far from him. He wanted to see whom it was, sneaking discreetly from behind the hut. 

The footbridge was lowered and an imposing man dressed in black emerged from the ship and went to join the battle that took place around him. 

Finn had no doubt who it was, despite the mask that concealed his face. 

“Bloody hell!” he exclaimed. “What kind of world is this, Solo?”

He somehow expected a science fiction writer like Ben to have a wild imagination, but he wasn’t prepared for something so insane. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late night update, because I am sick and I slept all day and now I can't get any sleep (not the best reason). 
> 
> This wasn't a very easy chapter to write because it is some kind of a "transitional" chapter. I had to find a way to get to the part where we dive into Ben's mind. I hope it is still enjoyable to read, though. 
> 
> Don't worry: Rey will still appear as a main character in the upcoming chapters, even if it was Finn who ended up getting into Ben's mind. 
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and precious comments! They fuel my inspiration and motivate me to go on with this story.


	11. Ben Solo. Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn faces an inextricable situation. How is he supposed to save Ben Solo when he is so out of his depth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay, dear readers! Here is a long chapter to make up for it.

Hux’s face was as red as his unkempt hair. He had a big hump on his forehead where Rey had hit him earlier with the phone. The way he glowered at her, with his upper lip twitching furiously, made her skin crawl. Still, she remained defiantly calm. 

“I have done nothing wrong”, she replied coolly. 

“You hit me in the head!” his voice broke as he exclaimed in indignation.

He turned to look at Snoke as if to seek his support. The old doctor sat silently at his desk with his piercing eyes fixed on Rey, his stoic attitude somehow more disconcerting than Hux’s explosive anger. 

“There will be consequences”, Hux spat his words like a curse, pointing his finger at Rey’s face. “You’ll have to account for your actions!” 

His loud threats had little effect on her. She kept her eyes down, sitting on a chair at the center of Snoke’s office with her hands on her knees.  

“Mister Hux, will you please leave us?” the doctor surprised both the lawyer and Rey by intervening. 

“Dr. Snoke! She is dangerous. I must insist…

- I just want to speak to Miss Rey, alone. I am certain she will behave”.

The old doctor’s voice was at once soft and imposing. There was a subtle command in the way he pronounced these words and Hux didn’t try to protest any further. He, however, scowled at Rey while heading for the door then slammed it behind him.

The silence that followed was deafening. There was something very unsettling about Dr. Snoke and Rey had to gather all her resolve to bare his penetrating gaze without flinching. 

“What will happen to Finn?” she asked, the shiver in her voice not escaping the old doctor.  

“It is too late to unplug him, now. We can only hope he gets rejected from Mr. Solo’s mind”, Snoke revealed.

“Will he be alright?” She asked. 

“It is usually a very traumatic experience. He could suffer from lesions, but there is a great chance he will come out without any major repercussions.”

Rey breathed in relief despite the forlorn expression on the doctor’s face. Knowing that Finn could be saved was cold comfort, however. 

“What about Ben?”

The old man rose from his chair and walked with a slight limp towards the floor-to-ceiling window. As he looked outside, he started talking: 

“I still remember when I discovered the procedure, more than twenty years ago. I thought then that I had been blessed by the skies. I thought that I had finally found a way to free humans from the curse that is mortality”. 

Rey listened to him, her eyebrows pinched together in confusion. He went on:

“Everyone used to believe that coma was a purely physiological phenomenon. Scientists considered that the physical brain was responsible for it, as I did for many years until I realized that the mind was actually the key. I discovered that comatose patients were actually trapped in their own mind. Some are able to survive, others perish, and do you know why?”

He turned to face her and she shook her head slowly, looking rather lost.

“They need a reason to come back. Only those who have a reason to come back return”.

Snoke suddenly rushed at Rey, making her jolt. She pushed on the armrests to put as much space between them as she could while staring back in panic at his figure towering above her.

“I thought I could offer them a reason to come back. Comatose patients often forget, you see?  Who they are, whom they love...It is what happened to you, Miss Rey. Am I right?” 

Rey nodded nervously. He sighed and suddenly looked very tired, somehow defeated before he returned to his seat. 

“I thought I could help all those patients who were lost, who had forgotten, to find their way home. It took me years to develop and improve my procedure. At first, I tried to dive myself into their minds, but it didn’t work. They kept rejecting me as soon as they would notice I wasn’t a normal part of their psyche. The mind is very powerful, you see, when it has to maintain the illusion it has itself created. Eventually, I discovered that it was easier for someone who knew the patient to blend into their imagination. A very short-lived victory as I came to understand that there were rules, that there was a price to pay for playing God”. 

The doctor fell silent and Rey had to prompt him to explain: 

“What do you mean?

- I know you think I am insane, Miss Rey. You think I am just superstitious, that there isn’t such a thing as the rule of equivalent exchange. Let me tell you something: Even if you don’t believe in it, the rule does exist… Everything has a price!

\- What does it have to do with the procedure?

\- Everything! When the first patients I treated started waking up from their coma, it was really a triumph. I thought that I had finally succeeded, that I was able to save these people who had been imprisoned in their own inner world. But soon, I discovered the truth. I only cared for my patients and neglected the people who had dived into their minds to bring them back. Most of them were never able to wake up again.

\- You mean there are some who did survive!

\- They were never the same after the procedure.

\- But they survived!

\- At what cost? Their brains were damaged. The luckiest ones had amnesia, others became violent, some lost their minds… some even lost the will to live and killed themselves”.

Rey gasped in horror. 

“You understand now, Miss Rey, why we keep what we do in this clinic secret. People who come here are willing to give their lives to save those they love. There is no coming back for them! Mister Solo was fully aware that he was giving his life for yours!”

Rey put her hands over her mouth to prevent herself from screaming and tears started pouring uncontrollably from her eyes.

“Mr. Solo didn’t wake up and it is better this way. He is gone… forever.

\- There must be a way to save him!” she sobbed.

“You believe that _you_  can save him? You think your love can be stronger than death? I have seen many couples like yours before. I too used to believe that love could be their salvation, but death always claims its due. No love is strong enough!”

Snoke’s words rang hollow to Rey’s ears. Slowly, the sounds around her grew distant, until they faded completely. The doctor, the world around her dissolved into darkness and she was left alone like a lonely character on a scene on whom shined a unique bright spotlight. 

Her sorrow, that had been so painful and overwhelming, receded and gave place to something… powerful, a conviction not based on rationality or cold facts but on pure instinct, though it didn’t make it less undeniable. 

“Dr. Snoke is wrong!” she said and her voice echoed in the empty space. 

The faint sound of footsteps responded to it. Judging by the noise that grew louder and louder, someone hidden in the dark was coming her way and stopped just on the verge of the light. A gloved hand was extended invitingly towards her and she knew that it was him. 

“We will prove to him that he is wrong! Won’t we, Ben?” she added while taking his hand. 

He delicately raised her up from her chair, eliciting a delighted gasp from her, and she found herself between his protective arms. She leaned her head against his shoulder and they started dancing together, twirling around and around over the stage, the spotlight following them though only illuminating her. 

“Our love is strong enough!” She chanted to the rhythm of a mute valse.  “I will never give up on you, Ben! I will be there when you will wake up, no matter how long it will take. I will stay by your side, even if you no longer remember me, even if you don’t love me anymore. I will always be there!” 

The dancing made her head spin, so she laughed and she knew in her heart that he was smiling, even though she couldn’t see him. He guided her back towards the chair and prompted her to sit down. He caressed her palm before he let go of her hand and vanished again in the darkness. 

Rey was back to the doctor’s office. When she looked up, her tears had dried away and her eyes sparkled with resolve. Even Snoke frowned when he noticed the shift in her demeanor. 

“Come back to me, Ben”,  she pleaded inwardly, hoping that her beloved would somehow hear her. “I will be waiting for you”.  

_____________________________

The helmet damped the noises around him but amplified the sound of his respiration. It isolated him from a world that displayed itself through his eyes visors in shades of red.  

On his way to meet with his master, his breathing grew labored. Snoke was the only man he dreaded this much in the entire galaxy. 

Kylo Ren crossed the threshold of the dark room and the holographic image of the Supreme Leader flickered into being, its proportions so immense it was grotesque. 

“Kylo Ren!” Snoke acknowledged as his apprentice kneeled before his projection. “What excuse do you have for your latest failure?”

The young warrior cringed, his master’s words only deepening the humiliation of his latest misstep. 

“Supreme Leader, the fugitives were already long gone when I arrived at the village.

\- So, your informant is to blame?

\- If General Hux wasn’t so reluctant to lend me his men…

\- Enough!”

Snoke’s voice echoed so loudly it made the ground shake and forced the dark knight to bow further in submission.

“The fault is only yours, Kylo Ren! Your inability to capture Skywalker and his apprentice prove to me how much I have overestimated your abilities!

\- I can do it. I will catch them!

\- So you keep saying, but they keep eluding you.

\- Until now! Supreme Leader, the incursion into the village was not in vain. The girl has foolishly revealed to the villagers where they were heading, she and Skywalker.

\- Beware, my apprentice. In your haste to catch them, you might come out as the foolish one. They might be setting you a trap!

\- If the girl wants to face me, then I am more than willing to show her my power.

\- Don’t forget she has been training with Skywalker… So be it, my young apprentice! This will be a test of your strength. Show me that you can crush her. Prove to me that your defeat at her hands was only due to circumstances and not to your inherent weakness”.

When the hologram of Snoke completely dissipated, Kylo Ren was finally able to rise again. Ire coursed into his veins, searing like a poison. His breathing was hurried and loud as if he was in a state of panic.  He left the room and hurried to get to his quarters. In the corridors, the stormtroopers who crossed his path made way for him, terrified by his mien. In his anger, he looked positively as unstable and deadly as an enraged wolf. 

He could barely contain his emotions. They bubbled inside him, pressing and hitting against his shell and menacing to burst out of him like an overwhelming and destructive tide. They were so potent, he feared if they didn’t come out one way or another, they would collapse on themselves and create a black hole that would absorb all that he is and leave him hollow, a creature without an identity or soul. Perhaps that’s what he was already. 

As soon as he reached his quarters, he gave free rein to his rage. His bloodcurdling screams resounded in the corridors of the star destroyer, and although they must have been used to hearing them by now, the soldiers who walked by turned on their hills and run away in fear. All except from one who peeked out of a cupboard he was hiding in when he became convinced that nobody else was left in the corridor and who approached Kylo Ren’s door quietly. 

Inside, the knight stood panting in the middle of the aftermath of his tantrum. The vestibule that led to his room was now reduced to a wreckage. Cables were hanging from the gutted walls, the cuts in the durasteel flaming red. The lights flickered while his lightsaber whirled menacingly in his hand. 

He turned it off, took a deep breath and commanded to his heart to go back to a regular rhythm. He searched for that state of peace he so desperately needed. How he hated that it was only the memory of her that could procure it. Why was it that she was the one who was able to both stir his anger up and put it out? 

He closed his eyes and recalled when he had had her at his mercy. He had watched her while she had been asleep in the interrogation chamber. She had looked at once fragile and strong, the scavenger who was to become his deadly nemesis. He remembered the shape of her face, the subtle curve of her lips, her freckled cheeks, the serene look she had had as if no worries or sufferance affected her. 

A strange sound pulled him out of his reverie. A melody rising from nowhere resonated eerily in his ears. The music grew louder and louder as Kylo Ren searched desperately around his quarters for its source. It sounded like anything he had ever heard before. 

The voice of the singer and the instruments that accompanied him had an otherworldly quality to them that nearly sent him into a panic. It was all so foreign to his world. The existence of this song was utterly illogical!

As suddenly as it started, the music stopped, and Kylo Ren realized that he was clutching his helmeted head to protect himself from hearing it. A single verse echoed in his mind: “Please tell me who I am, who I am, who I am, who I am” until the silence settled again. 

This was not the first occurrence of this kind. Lately, he had been hearing strange noises, music, and voices calling his name… his old name, the one no one knew apart from his family and his master. 

He strode back to his door and when he opened it, he saw a single stormtrooper fleeing as quickly as he could. 

“You!” Kylo Ren called him and the soldier froze before slowly turning around, stiffly holding his blaster against his chest. 

“Have you heard it?” the knight of Ren asked. 

“Heard what?

\- The music!

\- No… I haven’t heard any music, Mister S... Sir”.

The Darksider was used to stormtroopers being intimidated by him and acting in odd ways around him, but even by those standards, this particular one was rather peculiar. He examined him closely and noticed that he had a stain on his helmet that resembled a bloody handprint.

“Were you at the village earlier?

\- Yes, Sir”.

Kylo Ren remembered then that he had noticed a soldier behaving strangely during the attack. He was practically certain that this was him.

“You have a stain on your helmet.

\- Oh!”

The stormtrooper instinctively brought his hand to his helmet and exclaimed when he realized that he had blood smeared over his fingers: 

“Oh my God! It’s blood! When did I… I mean of course it’s blood. This is perfectly normal. I’m a soldier after all.

\- Did you report to Captain Phasma?” he inquired.

He was curious about how this soldier had been able to parade with a blood-stained helmet aboard the star destroyer, knowing how strict the captain was about protocol.

“Captain Phasma. Right! I will go report to him, right now… Sir”.

The stormtrooper seemed in a hurry to leave, but with a simple flick of the wrist, Kylo Ren froze him on the spot. He gasped in terror, trying to escape Kylo Ren’s invisible hold, but to no avail. 

“Who sends you?” 

Threat rumbled low in Kylo Ren’s voice and made the soldier’s blood run cold. From the corner of his eye, he could see the dark knight creeping up on him. He wasn’t given the opportunity to answer before he felt a phantom grip tightening around his throat. Just like in a nightmare, he couldn’t run, he couldn’t scream. He could only watch in horror as Kylo Ren scanned him from head to toe as if he could see inside his very soul. 

Both men heard steps coming from the end of the corridor, still, the dark knight kept his grip tight around the stormtrooper’s neck. 

“Please!” the soldier coughed, reaching for his throat and fighting desperately to free himself from the invisible hand squeezing his trachea. “Let me explain!” 

“Ren!”, an undignified voice squeaked behind Kylo Ren. 

He turned around slowly, excruciatingly so, and came face to face with General Hux and a handful of stormtroopers. The ginger man’s upper lip twitched uncontrollably as he scowled at him furiously. 

“What do you think you are doing?” 

Kylo Ren released his grip on the stormtrooper and the soldier fell to the floor with a loud thump. 

“We were having a discussion”, the knight explained, not bothering to conceal his sarcasm. 

One look at the soldier coughing and trying to get on his feet flared the general’s outrage. 

“Ren! My men are not at your disposal to vent your anger! How many soldiers have you assaulted this month? I won’t allow you to squander our resources this way!

\- Allow me?”

Kylo Ren leaned forward, bringing his masked face a few centimeters away from Hux’s intimidatingly. The general gulped nervously but didn’t move back, the tension growing between them like a dark cloud. The stormtroopers watched them with their blasters clamped between their fingers. 

“Don’t forget what we are aiming to accomplish here, Ren. It is not by wasting our troops that we’ll overcome our enemies”. 

The Darksider stared in silence at his rival for an uncomfortably long time. He snapped his head around to glance at the stormtrooper who was now standing over his wobbly feet. 

“This stormtrooper has a problem with his blaster… and his uniform”, Kylo Ren simply revealed. 

General Hux inhaled deeply then exhaled slowly, his breath as hot as his anger. He twitched his neck and it made a loud cracking noise: 

“Soldier, report to inspection immediately”, he ordered while staring back hatefully at the dark knight. 

“Inspection…right. It’s this way?” the stormtrooper blabbered. 

Without diverting his gaze from Hux, Kylo Ren lifted his arm and pointed in the right direction. 

“Alright! Thank you!”

The general frowned as he followed the stormtrooper from the corner of his eyes, but he would be damned if he were to admit that there was something obviously suspicious about him. 

“Keep an eye on him”, he whispered into one of his men’s ear. 

He could not see it, but he could sense the sardonic grin on Kylo Ren’s face. 

The knight didn’t add another word. He simply turned around and headed back for his quarters with his hands clasped behind his back. 

_____________________________

Finn walked through the corridors of the spaceship in a complete daze. His mind was reeling as he tried to comprehend everything he had witnessed since he came into Ben Solo’s mind. He didn’t expect things to be so outlandish. No, not outlandish. INSANE! 

He knew that Ben was a Sci-fi writer, that it meant that he had a fertile imagination, but this was absolutely mad! What kind of world was this? And why had Ben given himself the role of a villain? Though, if he had to be honest, he though the version of Hux that lived in this world hilariously accurate. 

This version of Ben, this Kylo Ren, he was nothing like the Ben Solo he met in real life. Ben was charming and collected. He was friendly and had a great sense of humor. Nothing like the violent obscure creature he seemed to be in this world. 

Somehow, Finn had been able to recognize him, despite his disguise and his uncharacteristic behavior.  He had watched him as he had wreaked havoc at the village with his flaming - and frankly preposterous- sword. He had seen him terrorizing the inhabitants, destroying and setting everything they got on fire until he had constrained them to reveal where some fugitives were hiding. 

This man was nothing like Ben Solo. He was a dark shadow of him, brutal and full of a wrath that rippled almost tangibly out of him. 

Finn tried to recall the instructions that Rose had given him and Rey about the procedure. First, he was supposed to keep his identity concealed. Until now, he had managed that, even though he knew that he had risen Ben’s -or rather Kylo Ren’s- suspicions. Besides, he wondered why he had been allowed to get away so easily. 

There was also something about building a space where he could lure Ben and help him find his way out. Now, how was Finn supposed to do that? This world he was in was terrifyingly vivid and intricate. He felt that he had no control over it whatsoever. There was no breach, no rift he could slip into.  Finn’s legs brought him, almost of their own volition, to the inspection center. He hoped to slip away discreetly before getting in, but he realized that there was a soldier following him closely. He wasn’t even trying to hide his presence and stood there waiting for Finn to go through the door. 

“Great!” he sighed before crossing the threshold.  

What would happen if he died here? That’s a question he should have asked Rose. He would get “rejected” from Ben Solo’s mind, he presumed, but Finn dreaded the sufferance that went with it. Earlier, when Kylo Ren was choking him telepathically -or whatever power allowed him to do it without touching him- the pain he experienced felt very real.    

“What is it?” an officer wearing a black uniform asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

“I… I have a problem with my blaster”, Finn stammered, repeating Kylo Ren’s words. 

The woman typed rapidly on a keyboard and a few characters he could not comprehend appeared on a holographic screen. 

“Wow!” he mumbled, impressed and the officer lifted her eyebrow. 

“Name?

\- Finn.

\- Not your nickname, soldier”, she said rolling her eyes. “your identification code”.

\- Oh, right! My identification code… FN… 2187?”

Poe had told Finn about an obscure short movie called 21-87 just a few days ago. The cook was a true cinema aficionado and loved strange art house films. Even when Finn didn’t have the slightest idea what he was talking about, he loved listening to him. He admired his passion and was thankful to him for inspiring him a believable answer. 

The officer typed the code and it seemed to match the record, which allowed Finn to breathe again. If there was indeed a stormtrooper FN-2187, he was probably going to have a bad surprise later.

Finn elaborated on the details concerning his malfunctioning blaster and the way it prevented him from properly taking part in the attack on the village earlier. 

“I am getting the hang of this”, he thought proudly, realizing that he was more convincing than he would have expected. 

Finn had never dwelled into RPG before, but he reckoned it was something akin to this.

“Alright, you can report to your division now, FN-2187”, the woman concluded after he had given her his blaster for inspection. 

“Yes. Thank you!

- You’ll probably need to polish your armor before Captain Phasma sees you”, she advised after giving him the once-over.

Finn nodded and made a note to himself that he had to avoid this Captain Phasma at all cost. 

When he came out of the inspection center, he was relieved that the stormtrooper that was following him earlier was gone. He carefully scanned the corridor to make sure the path was free for him, then he went searching for a hideout where he could calmly plan his next move. But he only took a couple of steps before something heavy hit him in the head and he collapsed to the floor unconscious. 

Finn awakened with a jolt and was further startled when he saw that Kylo Ren was looming over him. He instinctively tried to back away but realized that he was tightly strapped to a chair.

“She sent you!

\- What?

\- The girl! Rey! She’s the one who sent you.

\- Oh my God! How did you…

\- What did she think she could accomplish by sending you to me without any kind of prompting?

\- I… It’s really not what you think, Man.

\- Did she send you to kill me?”

\- I don’t want to kill you. I… I am here to help you.

\- Help me?

\- I… I don’t know how to explain.

\- Oh, you don’t have to explain anything. Does she still believe she can save me from the Dark Side? That I can be turned?”.

The strange lights passing outside the window caught Finn’s attention. 

“Where are we?” he asked, ignoring Kylo Ren’s questions. 

“In my shuttle.

\- Why do the lights look this way?”

Kylo Ren suddenly lost his temper and grabbed Finn by the throat. 

“Are you trying to confuse me?

\- No, Man… Please…”

Finn could barely speak with Kylo Ren choking him. He almost didn’t notice the pain that surged in his brain until it became so strong he screamed helplessly. 

“Yes. There she is”, commented the dark knight victoriously. “I see her. You two seem to be very friendly”. 

It was absurd, but Finn had to accept the evidence: Kylo Ren was reading his mind. 

He panicked. He knew that if the Darksider discovered who he really was, he would get rejected from his mind and Ben would stay trapped. But, the pain… It was unbearable. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing, after all, if he rejected him. 

He imagined Rey’s sad eyes, then, and the way her face brightened with hope when he agreed to help her. He just couldn’t give up yet. He would bare this sufferance with resolve and do everything in his power to help Ben. 

Suddenly, he felt Kylo Ren’s hold loosen around his neck, allowing him to breathe again. 

“You are not from here!” the Darksider remarked, a bit dumbfounded. “Who are you?

Finn stared at him in silence. The moment he dreaded was probably here. Ben was going to realize that he didn’t belong in his make-believe world. 

“You come from another world”, Kylo Ren added. “How is it possible?” 

The shuttle shook around them and Finn thought that he was done for! That he had failed and that he was soon to wake up to a room full of angry doctors and lawyers back at the clinic. But everything was soon back to normal. There were even stars shining outside the window instead of the passing lights he saw earlier. 

For a slight moment, Kylo Ren seemed lost. He looked around in confusion and asked Finn: 

“Do you hear that?

\- I don’t hear anything.

\- The voice! It’s her.

\- Do you mean Rey?”

Finn was again startled when the knight slammed his clenched fist over a control panel, growling in rage.

“This is why she sent you! She is trying to drive me insane, isn’t she?

\- Holy shit! Don’t destroy the ship while we’re in it!

\- Does she think that I am this weak? That she will make me question my own sanity? I will show her the extent of my power. She will regret ever trying to trick me.

\- Okay, Man. Just calm down!

\- You said you were here to help me, right? Oh, you will help me, indeed”.

Kylo Ren turned around, his cape whirling behind him dramatically, and made way for the pilot’s chair. Finn watched powerlessly as the shuttle penetrated a green and blue planet’s atmosphere and steadily flew over its ocean surface. 

Soon, they reached an island, a mountainous rock that surged from the water.  Kylo Ren maneuvered the ship cautiously and landed it on one of the few flat surfaces.

He came back to Finn and with a movement of his fingers was able to set him free from his restrains. 

“You won’t try to escape. You will obey every word I say”, he instructed, his voice curiously flat. 

“Okay, okay”, Finn answered, but his reaction seemed to surprise Kylo Ren. 

He stared at him for a brief moment, then repeated, articulating his words exaggeratedly: 

“You won’t try to escape. You will obey…

\- I heard you the first time”, Finn replied a bit impetuously. 

The Darksider tilted his head: 

“Huh!” 

Finn didn’t know what impressed Kylo Ren, but there was definite praise in his inflection. It was however short-lived, as he grabbed his arm and pushed him towards the lowering bridge. 

Both men got off the shuttle and walked towards a flight of rock stairs leading up the hill. 

“She is here”, Kylo Ren commented. “I can sense her presence.

\- Who?”

The dark knight turned his head slowly towards the pretend stormtrooper in annoyance. 

“Rey”, he explained. 

“Oh, Rey. Of course.

\- Is this your talent? Is it because you are so devious that you have been selected by the Resistance?

\- I am not devious!  

\- I must admit, you nearly convinced me that you were from another world, earlier. How do you manage to be so convincing? You always act as if you were out of your depth. 

\- I… I will take that as a compliment.

\- It is not! Go ahead!”

Finn started climbing the stairs and soon realized that his armor wasn’t the most adapted for effort. He was starting to feel hot and his breathing grew labored, but he couldn’t slow down as he had Kylo Ren following him closely, he could have felt his breath against his nape if they weren’t both wearing helmets. 

There were bizarre creatures, some kind of beakless birds, flying around the island whose shrieking calls resounded loudly in the sky. They watched with curiosity the two men from their nests hanging on the rocky walls. 

“Stop!” Kylo Ren yelled suddenly, stopping Finn on his track.

\- What?” he asked, trying to spot what grabbed his companion’s attention.

Everything was quiet and Finn wondered if this wasn’t one of Kylo Ren’s auditory hallucinations, but he was soon proven wrong when a whirlwind of colors emerged from above them.

A small creature -what can only be described as a fury- charged bellowing towards the dark knight a fiery blue sword in her hands. 

“Wow!” Finn blurted as he witnessed Kylo Ren turning his own red saber on and blocking his opponent’s blow. 

He could not distinguish the girl’s face as it was partially hidden behind a scarf and she was moving too quickly. Still, he worked out that it was Rey. Not the Rey. A version of her that Ben Solo imagined. One who could fight vigorously and relentlessly against a man who was double her size. 

There wasn’t much space for the opponents to move and they were fighting dangerously close to Finn. He pressed his back to the wall as much as he could to avoid their sizzling blades. 

All of a sudden, Kylo Ren seized him by the arm and twisted it behind his back, forcing him to stand between them. 

Rey froze on the spot, the arm holding her weapon raised above her head. 

“Did you think you could fool me, scavenger?” the knight scoffed. “That I wouldn’t know that your friend was a spy?

\- Who is this?” she asked.

Kylo Ren tilted his head in surprise. He removed Finn’s helmet to show her his face, but she just repeated: 

“Who is this?

\- Is this a new strategy? You are trying to distract me? You are very bad at lying, Rey! And I already know everything.

\- What kind of trick is this?”

This version of Rey seemed to be devoid of patience. She didn’t even wait for an answer before leaping to attack both men at once. 

Finn screamed in fear and threw himself out of the way, landing a few steps downward. 

Rey and Kylo Ren resumed their duel. They were both unusually brutal today, hitting at each other with a violence that only equaled their frustration. 

“Where is Skywalker, Rey?

\- He is far away. Somewhere you will never be able to find him.

\- Did he abandon you? Did he leave you to fight me alone? That’s what he does, you know? He is wicked and twisted. He will use you then destroy you the moment he will realize that you are getting stronger than him.

\- Shut up!”

She tried to strike him again but missed and in her precipitation, she slipped off the stairs and fell off the cliff. 

In her fall, she thought she could hear Kylo Ren screaming something, but she hadn’t time to dwell on its meaning before she painfully hit the water surface. 

The knight reacted on instinct. He jumped after her and although he was usually a good swimmer, his heavy clothes dragged him down the water. He quickly removed his cape and fumbled to free himself from his mask, which allowed him to resurface. 

He took a much-needed breath of air then dove again, searching for Rey and started to panic when he couldn’t find her. He swam up to take another puff of air, then plunged again, this time going deeper. His eyes couldn’t see her, but his instincts guided him until she finally appeared to him. Her unconscious body was sinking slowly towards the bottom of the ocean. 

Kylo Ren swam as quickly as he could to get to her, struggling against the currents, and as soon as he caught a hold of her hand, he pushed on his legs to get them both to the surface. 

When they reemerged, Kylo Ren realized that they were in a cave. He made way for a small rock at its center and pulled Rey above it, then hauled himself next to her. 

He was panting after all the effort he had expended, still, he could not rest until he was certain she was alright. He slapped her cheek softly, uttering encouraging words to wake her up.

“Come on, Rey! You are stronger than this!” 

Her face was unnaturally pale, her lips a worrying shade of blue. He lowered his ear toward her face to hear her breathing, but he detected no sound. 

Remembering the first aid procedures he had been taught a long time ago, back when he used to be a Jedi Padawan, he pushed on her thorax with his hands, trying to expel the water out of her lungs, but to no avail. He pinched her nose and forced her mouth open then leaned forward to give her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Before their lips met, he hesitated for the briefest moment, hesitated to touch her, then quickly proceeded with the manoeuver. 

To his utter discouragement, she still wasn’t breathing. He flipped her around and circled his arms around her, bringing her back to his chest. She was so small, so fragile, it made his stomach constrict. 

“Please, Rey!” he whispered in her ear while he applied pressure against her diaphragm and she finally coughed the water that was obstructing her trachea. 

Throughout all this episode, Kylo Ren never stopped once to consider that he could let her drown, despite her being his deadly nemesis. He instead breathed in relief and moved the wet hair strands that were covering her face. 

When she came back to her senses and realized that her enemy was holding her, Rey tried to push him away from her, but she was too weak. She moaned helplessly and he voluntarily let go of her. She sat as far away from him as the small rock could allow. She breathed with difficulty, but her face slowly recovered its natural colors.

“What happened? Where are we?” Rey asked when she gathered enough force to speak, though her voice was barely louder than a murmur. 

“You have fallen off the cliff. We are in a cave”, he answered, avoiding to tell her about the part when he came to her rescue. 

“Where is my lightsaber?

\- I don’t know. Perhaps, you have lost it in the water.

\- Did you… did you save me?”

Kylo Ren gulped nervously, then lowered his eyes as if he had been caught misbehaving. 

“You saved me”, she simply noted, her face not betraying any emotion. 

“How can we get out of here?” she added, looking around and searching for an exit. 

“We could swim back.

\- I cannot swim!

\- You could hold onto me”.

Rey fluttered her eyelashes in surprise. He could have sworn that a slight blush flushed her cheeks. 

“We won’t be able to climb the wall”, Rey remarked aptly. “We will have to find another way out”. 

The situation was absolutely surreal. A few minutes ago, they were trying to kill each other, and now… now they stared at each other in silence, as if they were meeting for the first time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, everyone! 
> 
> I am sorry again that I didn't update this story for some time. I really hope you didn't lose interest. I was busy with my studies. I hope you will forgive me for making you wait for this long. 
> 
> This chapter is a bit different. I had to get a few things out of the way, but you can expect the following chapters to be a bit eerier. I have to admit it was a bit challenging to give the Star Wars universe a bit of a twist and make things more interesting than a simple retelling of The Force Awakens. Besides, I simply had to add the "Cliff scene" that some speculated would be part of The Last Jedi but didn't end up in the movie. 
> 
> Tell me what you think! You have no idea how much happiness your comments and kudos bring me (or maybe you do)! Thank you!
> 
> P.S. The song Kylo Ren hears is The Logical Song by Supertramp. By the way, would you be interested if I created a playlist for this fic?


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